Don’t bottle-feed, only breastfeed.
But not in public, cover up.
And not too long, only until they turn one.
Don’t co-sleep.
Don’t let them cry it out.
Make sure your baby takes a bottle so you can leave them.
Don’t let your baby have that bottle anymore.
Be a good mom, they said . . .
Let your baby know he’s loved.
Don’t hold your baby too much.
Sleep when the baby sleeps.
But have a clean house and laundry done.
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Don’t yell at your kids.
Teach them discipline.
Don’t spoil your kids.
Give them the opportunities you didn’t have.
Be a good mom, they said . . .
Vaccinate your kids, but don’t over-vaccinate.
Why aren’t you pregnant yet?
When are you trying for baby #2?
Don’t have a C-section.
Give birth naturally, unless it’s an emergency then have a C-section.
Volunteer for every school activity.
Don’t wear your pajamas to school drop-off.
Be a good mom they said . . .
Lose the baby weight.
Eat enough to keep milk supply.
Is your baby sleeping through the night? Why isn’t he sleeping through the night?
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Save for college.
Throw them the best, most expensive birthday party ever.
Just relax.
Don’t drink alcohol if you’re breastfeeding.
Don’t feed your baby formula.
Make sure your baby weighs enough.
Be a good mom, they said . . .
No screen time.
Maybe some screen time, but not too much.
Back is best, unless they have digestive issues.
Only feed organic food.
Don’t work, stay at home.
Do work, but not too much.
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Be friends with your kids so they trust you.
Don’t be best friends with your kids, or they won’t respect you.
Be a good mom, they said . . .
Drive your kids to school, guitar lessons, social activities, tutor time, soccer games.
Make alone time for just you and each child.
Also for your husband.
Also for yourself.
Do it all with a smile.
Be a good mom, they said.
(Or . . . do what YOU feel works best for you and your family and give the rest to God.)