Some people say I was being selfish when I sent you away. I was doing what was best.

I had to get you somewhere I knew you would get everything you needed and wanted. I was doing what was best.

Despite my drug use, my mind knew I wasn’t able to give you what you deserved. And that was stability.

I had to do what was best.

You were nine years old when you went to stay with my aunt. You had your own room with your favorite game consoles, a new iPhone, and you got to go everywhere you wanted for vacations. I told you I had to do what was best.

RELATED: I Chose Adoption For My Baby, But I Didn’t Let Go

You’re 15 now, and I know I told you it was only temporary. I told you mommy just needed some time to get better so I could be the best mommy ever. You have always told me you loved me to infinity, and you promised you could never hate me.

But son. It has been six years, and you have a home, a solid friend base at school, and the A honor roll. This is your life now. You’re a soccer star and quite the ladies man. So let me say this.

I am doing what is best for you.

It kills me knowing I am not involved in your amazing life like I should be, but son, I am afraid I would ruin it for you.

I see how great you are, and I would never interfere in that. I hope the day comes when you are an adult, and you make the decision if you want me in your life. I’ll be waiting for that day with open arms and an open heart.

RELATED: I Gave Her Up At Birth, Then Adopted My Daughter Nearly Two Decades Later

There is nothing in this world I love more than you, and I’m so sorry it took me removing myself from your world to make you thrive and succeed. 

Forever and always I am here son, but please remember I was doing what was best.

Jody Marie Thornton

My name is Jody Thornton and I'm a 34-year-old recovering addict. I'm also a mother of two handsome boys, Jaylen 15 and Colton 8. I'm from Charleston West Virginia.