“Mommy, you are safe and loved and wanted,” my son said to me one night as he stroked my cheek, his eyelids heavy with sleep. He was repeating words I had said to him even in the womb. Every night after bedtime story and prayer, I would whisper those words to him and his sister, “You are safe and loved and wanted.” And now, he would say those very words back to me, mimicking my emphasis on the words safe, loved, and wanted.  

At the moment, I smiled and said thank you, son. His sister had already drifted off to sleep secure that her world would remain as warm and safe as it had always been. Watching my children sleep, I tried to remember the last time I felt as safe as they did.

RELATED: I Will Always Be Your Safe

Adulthood is hard, and there are a lot of things that terrify me. Reading the news in 2020, a near-death experience, the scourge of human trafficking, child molesters, accidents, crime, and ultimately, who would love my children if something happened to me and my husband? These fears all weigh heavily on my mind.

As a child, I remember being anxious all the time, nighttime for me was filled with bad dreams about monsters and ghosts. As a teenager, my nightmares were less about monsters trying to hurt me and more about human beings who were just as scary.

And the truth is, as an adult, I still struggle with being anxious and afraid.

Not in the same way, of course, but I can sometimes find myself feeling unsafe, unloved, and unwanted, and I am only just beginning to understand all the reasons why and learning to face those feelings. 

And yet, each night I tell my children they are safe and loved and wanted. Always in that order. I know they will forever be loved and wanted by me but I can never guarantee their safety. Not completely. They don’t know how scary the world is yet, and I am grateful for that, but one day, despite our best efforts they will learn what the world is. And like me and many others, they may feel unsafe, unloved, and unwanted.

RELATED: Dear Mama, You Are Their Safe Space

Right now, my children believe they are safe because I say they are. I have never lied to them before, and they have no reason to doubt me. Plus, there is something very comforting about the consistency with which they hear those words.  

And if my children could be comforted by my human words, how much more can they be comforted by the words of their Heavenly Father who is perfect and does not change.

How much more should I be comforted by God’s words? 

I say my children are safe because I have locked doors, God says, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you, he will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6).   

I tell my children they are loved because seeing them and being with them selfishly fills me with strong emotions my human heart understands to be love but God says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with unfailing kindness” (Jeremiah 31:3).  

RELATED: God Sees You, Mama—And His Grace Covers All Your Fears

I assure my children they are wanted because my husband and I, although unprepared to be parents, were genuinely grateful for them from the moment we learned they existed. However, God says, “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you may also be where I am” (John 14:3).

Talk about being safe and loved and wanted.

I know there will always be things to fear and I know I may always struggle with feeling anxious and scared, but I am so thankful that God constantly finds ways to draw my focus away from the perils of living and back to his everlasting word. I know that there is no shortage of evil, but I have every reason to hope because God has been faithful to me in his loving kindness. And whenever my fear gets bad, I sing the chorus of my favorite hymns:

“The winds and the waves shall obey thy will: 
Peace, be still. Peace, be still.
Whether the wrath of the storm-tossed sea 
Or demons or men or whatever it be, 
No waters can swallow the ship where lies 
The Master of ocean and earth and skies. 
They all shall sweetly obey thy will: 
Peace, be still; peace, be still. 
They all shall sweetly obey thy will: 
Peace, peace, be still.” 
Mary Ann Barker

You are safe and loved and wanted. 

Previously published on the author’s blog

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Natasha Carlow

Natasha is a wife and mother of two amazing rainbow babies. She resides in Trinidad and Tobago and is the author of the award-winning Happy Tears and Rainbow Babies which tells the story of how faith brought healing and hope to her family after the pain and loss of miscarriages. She is a contributing writer at https://pregnancyafterlosssupport.org/ and you can follow her thoughts on motherhood after loss on her blog at natashacarlow.com or on Facebook and Instagram.

Your Kids Don’t Need More Things, They Need More You

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Mother and young girl smiling together at home

He reached for my hand and then looked up. His sweet smile and lingering gaze flooded my weary heart with much-needed peace. “Thank you for taking me to the library, Mommy! It’s like we’re on a date! I like it when it’s just the two of us.” We entered the library, hand in hand, and headed toward the LEGO table. As I began gathering books nearby, I was surprised to feel my son’s arms around me. He gave me a quick squeeze and a kiss with an “I love you, Mommy” before returning to his LEGO—three separate times. My typically...

Keep Reading

Mom, Will You Pray With Me?

In: Faith, Motherhood
Little girl praying, profile shot

“Will you pray with me?” This is a question I hear daily from my 9-year-old. Her worried heart at times grips her, making it difficult for her to fall asleep or nervous to try something new. Her first instinct is to pray with Mom. Perhaps this is because of how many times her Dad and I have told her that God is with her, that she is never alone, and that she can always come to Him in prayer and He will answer. Perhaps it is because she has seen her Dad and I lean on the Lord in times...

Keep Reading

My Aunt Is the Woman I Want to Become

In: Faith, Living
Woman with older woman smiling

It’s something she may not hear enough, but my aunt is truly amazing. Anyone who knows her recognizes her as one-of-a-kind in the best way possible. It’s not just her playful jokes that bring a smile to my face, her soul is genuinely the sweetest I know. I hope she knows that I see her, appreciate her, and acknowledge all the effort she puts in every day, wholeheartedly giving of herself to everyone around her. When I look back on my childhood, I see my aunt as a really important part of it. We have shared so much time together,...

Keep Reading

A Big Family Can Mean Big Feelings

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Family with many kids holding hands on beach

I’m a mother of six. Some are biological, and some are adopted. I homeschool most of them. I’m a “trauma momma” with my own mental health struggles. My husband and I together are raising children who have their own mental illnesses and special needs. Not all of them, but many of them. I battle thoughts of anxiety and OCD daily. I exercise, eat decently, take meds and supplements, yet I still have to go to battle. The new year has started slow and steady. Our younger kids who are going to public school are doing great in their classes and...

Keep Reading

Motherhood Never Stops, and Neither Does My God

In: Faith, Motherhood
Daughter kisses mother on cheek

I’m standing in the shower rinsing the conditioner out of my hair with a toddler babbling at my feet, running through this week’s dinner menu in my head. “Hmm, this meal would be better suited for this day, so what should we do instead?” or “Maybe we should save that for next week since it’s easy and we will be busy with baseball starting back up. I can work something in that may take more effort in its place.” Being a wife and mother, running a household, it’s about the small moments like this. There’s something about it that is...

Keep Reading

So God Made a Sunday School Teacher

In: Faith, Living
Woman sitting at table surrounded by kids in Sunday school class, color photo

God looked around at all He had created, and He knew He would need someone to teach His children. So God made a Sunday school teacher. God knew He needed someone with a heart and desire to teach children God’s word. God knew the children would act up and made Sunday school teachers with patience and grace to guide them when they step out of line in class. He also made Sunday school teachers with a touch of discretion to know when the stories of a child may be real or imagined. God knew this person would need to be...

Keep Reading

But God, I Can’t Forgive That

In: Faith, Marriage
Woman holding arms and walking by water

Surrender is scary. Giving in feels like defeat. Even when I know it’s the right thing, yielding everything to God is scary. It also feels impossible. The weight of all I’m thinking and feeling is just so dang big and ugly. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes I cling so tightly to my fear I don’t even recognize it for what it is. Bondage. Oppression. Lack of trust. Oh, and then there’s that other thing—pride. Pride keeps me from seeing straight, and it twists all of my perceptions. It makes asking for help so difficult that I forget that...

Keep Reading

Dear Dad, I Pray for Our Healing

In: Faith, Grief, Grown Children
Back shot of woman on bench alone

You are on my mind today. But that’s not unusual. It’s crazy how after 13 years, it doesn’t feel that long since I last saw you. It’s also crazy that I spend far less time thinking about that final day and how awful it was and spend the majority of the time replaying the good memories from all the years before it. But even in the comfort of remembering, I know I made the right decision. Even now, 13 years later, the mix of happy times with the most confusing and painful moments leaves me grasping for answers I have...

Keep Reading

God Redeemed the Broken Parts of My Infertility Story

In: Faith, Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Two young children walking on a path near a pond, color photo

It was a Wednesday morning when I sat around a table with a group of mamas I had just recently met. My youngest daughter slept her morning nap in a carrier across my chest. Those of us in the group who held floppy babies swayed back and forth. The others had children in childcare or enrolled in preschool down the road. We were there to chat, learn, grow, and laugh. We were all mamas. But we were not all the same. I didn’t know one of the mom’s names, but I knew I wanted to get to know her because she...

Keep Reading

God Has You

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman hugging herself while looking to the side

Holding tight to the cold, sterile rail of the narrow, rollaway ER bed, I hovered helplessly over my oldest daughter. My anxious eyes bounced from her now steadying breaths to the varying lines and tones of the monitor overhead. Audible reminders of her life that may have just been spared. For 14 years, we’d been told anaphylaxis was possible if she ingested peanuts. But it wasn’t until this recent late autumn evening we would experience the fear and frenzy of our apparent new reality. My frantic heart hadn’t stopped racing from the very moment she struggled to catch a breath....

Keep Reading