I’m a boy mom times two.

I’m the keeper of the dinosaurs, the “stop picking your nose” preacher, and the turning a blind eye because someone is bound to get hurt and I guess they’ll have to learn the hard way, Mom.

And despite all of that—despite the chaos and mess of raising little boys, with their growling noises and weird sense of humor of laughing at burping and farting—I’m desperately in love with being a boy mom.

So when I hear someone nonchalantly say that I should have another baby because I need a daughter, I have something to say about that:

I have everything I never even knew I needed.

And your statement, while it may be said harmlessly, is pretty darn rude.

Here are a few things you should know:

I never knew how much I needed to be a boy mom until I experienced my first giggle and eskimo kiss, until I witnessed the immense pride over building a LEGO robot and the pure fascination of Star Wars.

When your suggestions imply that my life would be complete with a daughter, I want to kindly disagree and remind you that everything I never knew I needed is in those sweet messy faces and long eyelashes. Everything I could ever need is being their mom.

When my sweet boys say “Mama” and cuddle me close, there is nothing in this world that could feel better than that. 

For the people who imply that I need to be a girl mom, I have a few questions for you:

Why assume that I need a daughter because I’m a woman? Would you think my relationship would be stronger just because I give birth to a girl? May I remind you that a mother and son can have a strong and respectful bond. They can grow up to be friends with their mothers and still call them for advice.

If I have a daughter, do you believe my life would be fulfilled in some unique way? Do you feel that I need a daughter so we can go for mani/pedis and browse the shopping aisles of Target while casually laughing about which jeans makes our butts look big?

My life was made for the chaotic world of raising little boys.

While yes, it stresses me out and I’ll probably be gray in a few years, I wouldn’t choose another life. I’d keep these boys in ten different lifetimes. They’re mine and I was meant to be their mom.

So this is for the kind stranger I just met, the friend with all girls, and the family member who means well: no, I’m not having another baby to have a daughter. I have all that I need, right here with my boys.

Dirt and all.

You may also like:

The Boy Mom’s Survival Guide

Dear Son, When You No Longer Want Kisses From Mama

So God Made a Boy Mom

Let Us Raise Boys Who Have Respect Running Through Their Veins

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

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Laura Bower

Laura started her blog, Excuse The Mess, in an attempt to cope with her postpartum depression and moving half-way across the world. She hopes that her words can somehow help other struggling moms that feel like they don't have this 'mom thing' totally together. She has two boys under three and in her spare time(what's that?) she enjoys being out in her garden, biking and vegging out watching Netflix. She will never pass down a warm cup of coffee and her favorite past-time is forgetting where she put her car-keys. Her work has been featured on Scary Mommy, Blunt Moms, The Mighty and Imperfectly Perfect Mama.

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