Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

You spent months in my arms as I cuddled you, nursed you, and rocked you to sleep. 

I could hardly bear to leave your side, and when I had to, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. 

Then you took your first steps, and my worst fears became reality: You started to walk away from me. 

I was celebrating an important milestone in your life and was so proud of your courage and determination to explore the world around you. 

Yet I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of sadness that it was the beginning of you, my precious baby, leaving my side. 

But to my heart’s greatest joy, as you mastered your gait, you always came running back into my open arms. 

I could never bring myself to leave your side, could I?

We have the most precious and beautiful bond in the world. 

Your tiny hand fit so perfectly in mine. 

RELATED: God Bound Our Hearts Together With Threads of Love

My hugs and kisses were always able to drive away your fears and tears. 

Your hugs and kisses never failed to brighten my day and drive my fatigue away. 

We snuggled in bed and sang “Itsy Bitsy” over and over again and you still giggled, and we were the happiest souls in the room. 

I always wanted to be right next to you, holding your hand, to make sure you are safe, to cheer for you for each of your achievements, both big and small, and to fend off all the scary monsters in your tiny world.

But with each cake cutting, your world got bigger and bigger. 

We spent more hours apart as you started a brand new journey at the preschool. 

I appreciated the few hours I had to myself while you were at school, but my thoughts were never far from you. 

I’d wonder what you were doing, what exciting things you were learning, and what fun you were having with your friends. 

Friends! You started making friends in school, and I’d always be so excited to hear about the fun times you shared. 

RELATED: Dear Daughter, You Can Always Count on Me to be Your Friend

Yet, I secretly wished I would always be your best friend, someone you could always run to for your deepest secrets and a shoulder to cry on. 

Your world expanded once again when you entered elementary school

It was a brand new world and greater adventures awaited. 

As a first-time parent with her firstborn in elementary school, I had my anxieties while you seemed real cool about starting your new journey. 

I wished I could be right next to you as you explored the new school compounds. 

I wished I could be right next to you and watch you make new friends. 

I wished I could be right next to you as you learned to buy your own meals during recess and took time to visit the library or played with your friends at the field. 

I really wish I could always be right next to you. 

But I can’t. 

I won’t be right next to you when you sit for your first exams. 

But I know you will be all confident and prepared for it. 

I won’t be right next to you when you receive results of your first nationwide level exams five years down the road. 

But I know I would receive you with open arms no matter those results. Because you are way greater than the grades on a piece of paper. 

I won’t be right next to you when you ask the girl of your dreams out on your first date. (It would be way too creepy if I were.)

But I would love to hear how you made the girl laugh and had the most memorable evening and how she stole your heart. 

RELATED: Dear Son, I Called You Baby First

I won’t be right next to you when you get offered your first job. 

But I would be so excited for you, for the great work you would do. Because I know you can achieve whatever you set your mind on. 

I won’t be right next to you when your first child is born. 

But I know you would be absolutely thrilled and moved like never before, just like how your dad and I felt when we first laid eyes on you. 

I wish I could be right next to you to hold your hand, to cheer you on, to comfort you, to dry your tears, to share your joy and even your pain. 

But I won’t always be right next to you. 

I can’t. 

But I truly wish the time spent with you in your growing up years, the bond we have built, will continue to grow and strengthen even in the years ahead. 

Even as your world grows bigger without me, even as we spend more time apart, may you know that my arms will always be wide open, ready to embrace you, and that my heart always has a place for you. 

Even when I am not right next to you. 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Faith Lee

Faith is the owner of https://formommiesbymommy.com/ where she shares fun and practical printables for moms and kids. Her blog also offers practical advice to new bloggers. Faith lives in sunny Singapore with her husband and three kids. She enjoys writing articles that serve as a source of inspiration and encouragement to fellow moms through sharing her personal experiences. 

Now I Know How a Mother Is Made

In: Motherhood
Husband, wife, and young son, color photo

It’s been almost three years now, but I can still remember how your 8-pound body felt in my arms. Night after night as we tried to sleep, I remember your sounds, your movements, and your tiny hands. I gave it my all but still felt I fell short. You see sweet little one, you may have been brand new to this world, but so was I. The day you were born, a mother was born too. Things didn’t always go according to plan. It’s hard when you try your best, but you just can’t get there. So many new things...

Keep Reading

Going to Church with Kids is Hard but We’ll Keep Showing Up

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding young daughter in church

Going to church is hard with young kids. It used to be something I looked forward to. It’s something I’ve always valued deeply and needed desperately. It’s the one place that will always be home regardless of what location or building it’s in or what people attend. Church is my sanctuary. But it’s become a battle with the kids’ resistance, my tired mind and body, and my lack of ability to actually listen to the sermon. Going to church is hard with young kids. It’s become normal for me to lie down in bed on Saturday night thinking, with dread,...

Keep Reading

I’m Praying for My Teenager in These Challenging Years

In: Faith, Motherhood, Teen
Teen boy holding a smartphone and wearing headphones

In my mid-40s, I began to long for a baby. We didn’t get much encouragement from friends and family. My husband is a high-functioning quadriplegic, and I was considered way too old to start a family. But our marriage was stable, we were used to obstacles, we were financially prepared, emotionally experienced, and our careers were established. I began to paint my own sublime mental portrait of parenting tranquility. What could go wrong? At 48, I delivered a healthy baby boy, and he was perfect. We adored him. The baby we had longed for and prayed for, we had. And...

Keep Reading

When Motherhood Feels Like a Limitation

In: Faith, Motherhood
Ruth Chou Simons holding book

Twenty-one years ago, my husband Troy and I welcomed our first son into the world. Two years later, I gave birth to another boy. And again two years later, and again two years after that. A fifth boy joined our family another two years later, and a final son was born 11 years after we began our parenting journey. If you were counting, you’re not mistaken—that’s six sons in just over a decade. We were overjoyed and more than a little exhausted. I remember feeling frustrated with the limitations of the little years with young children when I was a...

Keep Reading

I Obsessed over Her Heartbeat Because She’s My Rainbow Baby

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Mother and teen daughter with ice cream cones, color photo

I delivered a stillborn sleeping baby boy five years before my rainbow baby. I carried this sweet baby boy for seven whole months with no indication that he wouldn’t live. Listening to his heartbeat at each prenatal visit until one day there was no heartbeat to hear. It crushed me. ”I’m sorry but your baby is dead,” are words I’ll never be able to unhear. And because of these words, I had no words. For what felt like weeks, I spoke only in tears as they streamed down my cheeks. But I know it couldn’t have been that long. Because...

Keep Reading

Here on the Island of Autism Parenting

In: Motherhood
Son on dad's shoulders looking at sunset over water

Hey, you. Yes, you there: mom to a kid on the spectrum. Well, you and I know they’re so much more than that. But sometimes those few words seem so all-consuming. So defining. So defeating. I see you when you’re done. That was me earlier today. I had to send a picture of a broken windshield to my husband. I prefaced the picture with the text, “You’re going to be so mad.” And you know what? He saw the picture, read my text, and replied, “I love you. The windshield can be fixed. Don’t worry. Just come home.” I think,...

Keep Reading

Round 2 in the Passenger Seat is Even Harder

In: Motherhood, Teen
Teen boy behind the wheel, color photo

Here I am, once again, in the passenger seat. The driver’s side mirrors are adjusted a little higher. The seat is moved back to fit his growing teenage limbs. The rearview mirror is no longer tilted to see what’s going on in the backseat. Yellow stickers screaming “Student Driver,” are plastered to the sides of the car. The smile on his face is noticeable. The fear in mine is hard to hide. These are big moments for both of us. For him, it’s the beginning of freedom. Exiting the sidestreets of youth and accelerating full speed into the open road...

Keep Reading

We’re Walking the Road of Twin Loss Together

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Mother and son walk along beach holding hands

He climbed into our bed last week, holding the teddy bear that came home in his twin brother’s hospital grief box almost 10 years earlier. “Mom, I really miss my brother. And do you see that picture of me over there with you, me and his picture in your belly? It makes me really, really sad when I look at it.” A week later, he was having a bad day and said, “I wish I could trade places with my brother.” No, he’s not disturbed or mentally ill. He’s a happy-go-lucky little boy who is grieving the brother who grew...

Keep Reading

Somewhere Between Wife and Mom, There Is a Woman

In: Living, Motherhood
Woman standing alone in field smiling

Sometimes, it’s hard to remember there is a woman behind the mom. At home, you feel caught between two worlds. Mom world and wife world. Sometimes it’s hard to balance both. We don’t exactly feel sexy in our leggings and messy mom bun. We don’t feel sexy at the end of the day when we are mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted from being a mom all day. The truth is we want to feel like ourselves again. We just aren’t sure where we fit in anymore. RELATED: I Fear I’ve Lost Myself To Motherhood We know the kids only stay...

Keep Reading

Until I See You in Heaven, I’ll Cherish Precious Memories of You

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Toddler girl with bald head, color photo

Your memory floats through my mind so often that I’m often seeing two moments at once. I see the one that happened in the past, and I see the one I now live each day. These two often compete in my mind for importance. I can see you in the play of all young children. Listening to their fun, I hear your laughter clearly though others around me do not. A smile might cross my face at the funny thing you said once upon a time that is just a memory now prompted by someone else’s young child. The world...

Keep Reading