A Gift for Mom! 🤍

Do you know his name?  

Elijah McClain. 

He gasps that he cannot breathe. 

He tells them his name, says he has ID but no gun, and pleads that his house is “right there.” 

He sobs, and vomits, and apologizes: “I wasn’t trying to do that,” he says. “I just can’t breathe correctly.”

Do you know his name? Do you know his story? 

I never knew his name or his story until June 24, 2020. My friend, a fellow Black writer and blogger posted an article about his story. And the picture on the article was of his last words and his face.  

RELATED: Please Love My Son Because the Rest of the World Doesn’t

As I read his story, my eyes filled with tears. I was filled with and continue to be filled with such deep, unabashed sorrow. I fell into the hole of the internet and absorbed everything I could about the young man whose name I had never heard.

I came across a picture of him playing his violin to the cats and dogs at an animal shelter and it just broke me. 

His smile is what captured me most. It was so full and honest. 

And then I hear his last words again. 

“I’m an introvert. I’m just different.”

And I fall apart all over again because I realized, I am looking at him as my son. 

My autistic son, who is so often described as different, quirky, and interesting. He talks to himself as he plays alone. Builds elaborate and intricate designs with his building materials. Hums and sings to himself when he gets anxious. 

Elijah is my son. 

RELATED: I Am Mama

He is the child of every unique needs parent in the world. He is the child of every parent whose child is quiet and shy. He is the child of every parent who describes their child as “different.” 

He is your son or daughter. 

As the rest of the world finally learns more about his case and people begin to shout “Say his name,” I am haunted by yet another hashtag. 

#JusticeforElijahMcClain
#AuroraPoliceDepartment
#SayHisName 

No one wants another hashtag. 

He was so much more than a hashtag. 

They were all so much more than hashtags. 

My children are so much more than hashtags. 

RELATED: Dear God, Let Hatred Be Overcome By Love

The news over the last few weeks has been filled with death, destruction, and anger. As more stories of brutality, systemic racism, and abuses are brought into the light. They are all bitterly familiar, in fact, their details have begun to echo each other.

You should be able to walk home, sleep in your bed, play in the park, jog in your neighborhood, look at real estate, have a BBQ, go to the store, drive to and from anywhere, wear a hoodie, and wear a mask without fear. 

RELATED: Black Mama, We See You; White Mama, We Need You

I am teaching my boys how to avoid being killed. I teach them how to comply. I teach them how to learn to live in a society that sees them as dangerous.

But I can’t teach them, and what I wish I could take away, is that there will come a day when they will stop being “different” and suddenly become dangerous. 

Because of the color of their skin.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Diana Loader

I am a USAF Veteran, now a full-time student and aspiring author. . . .as well as an okayish wife and mother. I have found a new passion for writing and helping families like mine. I have been married to my husband for 15 years, and he is Active Duty Air Force. We are raising two beautiful boys. Because of our family dynamic, and our oldest child's unique needs, we currently teach them at home. I am also a passionate advocate for women's health and rights. And I lead an initiative to provide free feminine hygiene products to homeless and poor women and girls. My downtime is spent outdoors hiking and walking, and I am also a voracious reader.

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

In: Motherhood
Mother and child silhouette

For most of my life, I believed becoming a stay-at-home mom wasn’t just a choice, it was the ultimate goal. The kind of life a “good” woman was meant to want. The kind of life that meant you were doing things right. I grew up surrounded by that message. In conservative spaces, in church circles, in subtle conversations about what a “real” mother looked like. Women who stayed home were praised. Women who didn’t were quietly questioned. I learned, without ever being directly told, that a mother’s highest purpose was to center her entire world around her children and her...

Keep Reading

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

In: Motherhood, Teen
Teenager on phone

I was not prepared to be a mother of teenagers. Sure, I was warned by other parents about the difficult journey I was about to embark on, but I did not expect it to be this challenging. I remember these two sweet, innocent children who wanted to be with me all the time. Now they barely give me the time of day. How did we get here? Like many parents, we long to have that child who once, a long time ago, called us Mommy and Daddy and begged us to read them another story. Where are those kids I...

Keep Reading

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Woman standing over water

Praying for My Son Send a storm to stop him; Let his friends throw him out. May he drop to the deeps, But gently, please, Stubborn though he may be. If it could only take three days, How my mother’s heart would Rejoice in praise.  From the hell you allow him, Let him cry to you. Is not Nineveh and mercy Exactly what he knows He needs— A mercy on enemies He fears You will concede? Please let all the shade wither If his is an angry soul; Humble him and help him follow Where you would have his purpose...

Keep Reading

To the Mom Worrying She’s Not Doing Enough This Summer

In: Motherhood
Kids looking at lake in summer

It’s only the second week of summer, and, thanks to modern-day social media, I feel like I’ve already seen it all. Picture-perfect beach getaways, color-coded bucket lists, backyard neighborhood movie nights, you name it. And if I’m being honest, I’ve already caught myself wondering if I’m doing enough. More than once, at that. As a solo mom of two, I’m still adjusting to our new norm while trying desperately to delicately let go of any expectations tied to all of our past experiences…including summer vacations. I’m reminding myself that our summers won’t look like they used to. At least not...

Keep Reading

Your Worth As a Mother Is Not Defined By How You Feed Your Baby

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mother and baby stand by crib

I’m not breastfeeding my baby. I wanted to. And I was able to for the first several weeks of her life. But as the days went on, I could tell it wasn’t enough for her anymore, so we started supplementing. And sure enough, without warning, she began screaming through nursing sessions, but was satisfied with a bottle. And that’s when I knew what I needed to do. A similar situation also happened with my first. She didn’t gain her birth weight back on my milk alone, so I had no choice but to supplement right away. And before I knew...

Keep Reading

A Mother’s Love Doesn’t End When Her Kids Move Out

In: Motherhood
Family posing in Time Square

When my last sibling moved out of the house, I watched my mom struggle in a quiet, almost unspoken way. It wasn’t something dramatic or visible; it was something I could feel in her presence. For 40 years, her life had revolved around taking care of us—my siblings and me. Every season of her life had been shaped around our needs, our schedules, our milestones, and our growing up. Being a mom wasn’t just something she did. It was who she was—the structure of her days, the cadence of her thoughts, and the center of her purpose. So when the...

Keep Reading

The Hardest Part of Divorce Is Being Away from My Kids

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood
Woman in driver's seat

I’ve written several times about how divorce has allowed me to find myself again, and how that version is even better than the one I was before I was married. All of that is still true. I am happier than I’ve ever been. More confident and sure of myself. I understand my emotions and how to handle myself when things get tough or scary. I am more grounded and calm than I’ve ever been. Truly, I have come out on top. I’ve received comments about how happy I look, how I’m “living my best life with kids only half the...

Keep Reading

I May Let Go of the Baby Things, but I’ll Hold the Memories Forever

In: Baby, Motherhood
Woman looking through closet of baby items

It’s easy to think of multiple sayings and mottos about how invaluable earthly possessions are. “It’s not what you have, but who you share it with” “Worry less about things and more about experiences” “Who cares what you have, you can’t take it with you when you go” And trust me, I know these to be true. I am not a hoarder of hotel pens or mini shampoo bottles or every receipt and coaster from my favorite restaurants. I don’t care much for name-brand shoes or designer purses, yet there are a few things I just can’t easily let go...

Keep Reading

Mom Showed Us Love that Lasts

In: Motherhood
Vintage photo of mother and three young kids

We moved a few years ago, and we had a closet that needed some reworking. In doing so, my husband found some old photos. He pulled out an album that held this vintage photo of my mom, my sisters, and me. It was probably circa 1983 when prints were made from Kodak. I actually don’t remember seeing the photo before. But I love it. In the photo, my mother’s eyes are shut with a blink because those were the days when blinks weren’t edited. It’s beautiful, and I can’t stop thinking about the captured connection. She was showing us something...

Keep Reading

This Is How I’m Raising My Sensitive Son

In: Motherhood
Little boy hugs a cat

When I was pregnant with my son, everyone warned me of what was to come. “Just you wait,” they’d say with an underlying schadenfreude, “you’ll never sleep again.” I fully expected sleep-deprived days and long, unrelenting nights, calming my son down from tantrums, trying to keep the peace with my marriage. But I got lucky—my son sleeps through the night, doesn’t throw tantrums, and my marriage is stronger than ever. I didn’t expect that, especially because I struggle with my own mental health and assumed I’d be in the weeds during my postpartum period. Now that my son is almost...

Keep Reading