Everyone thinks being a stay-at-home mom full-time is easy.

That we are lucky to be able to not have to work.
That we are lazy.
That it’s not “real” work so we have nothing to complain about.

But the truth is . . . it’s so lonely and overwhelming.

You can’t do anything by yourself . . .  go to the bathroom, enjoy a cup of coffee, read . . .  you can’t even scrub the crap out of your pants for the third time in a day without someone crying or screaming at your leg.

You don’t get breaks unless they are sleeping, and even then you use that time to clean up.

You struggle to come up with ways to entertain someone for literally 12 hours a day, every day.

You wear the same clothes that smell like sweat and tears for days at a time because it’s already stained and no use in ruining more clothes.

You forget what it means or feels like to be an individual because your entire existence now revolves around that child.

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You look at working moms and get jealous because you wish you could have an excuse to have an adult conversation without being interrupted.

You lock yourself in the bathroom and scream into a towel while crying because you need a second to breathe, all while a child is banging on the door to get in.

Let that sink in, most of us don’t even have the luxury to cry and be frustrated in peace . . . and when we do break down people question it. “Like, what do you have to cry about you get to sit home all day.”

I was one of those people who judged SAHMs. But I get it now. The people who said they’d be there to help have all but disappeared, and you’re left with this overwhelming sense of failure.

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My house isn’t clean, I’m not clean, the dishes aren’t done, I have screamed already today, I have cried, and I have felt so guilty that my child was here to witness it.

But I am alone . . . and I am lonely.

Check in on your SAHM friends . . . we are NOT OK.

Originally published on the author’s Facebook page
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Bridgette Anne

I am a 25-year-old first time mom from Minnesota. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and BPD when I was 17, and have become a major advocate for mental health rights and breaking stigmas ever since. I like to shed light on dark subjects and make them less “taboo” in society.