I’m a music lover. There’s just something about it… the beat, the chords, the lyrics… it goes through the heart and reaches straight to the soul. Music just has a way of moving you in a way that nothing else can. Not only that, but it has the ability to speak to you no matter what season of life you are in and right now, 90’s music is calling my name. It just gets me. When I listened to these songs over and over throughout my high school years, I never imagined that they would actually predict what life would be like for me today, almost twenty years later, as I raise my two young sons.
3 A.M (Matchbox Twenty) Because before I had kids, 3 A.M. was just something that I had always heard about. I knew that it existed; I just didn’t realize that having a baby would make us so very well acquainted.
U Can’t Touch This (MC Hammer) Like, literally. You can’t touch it… the lamp, the TV, the hairdryer, the outlet that I forgot to baby-proof. Our entire house became nothing more than a big box of life-threatening hazards the day our oldest son learned to crawl. We’d probably be safer living in the car.
Wannabe (Spice Girls) As in, I really wannabe a good mom, but some days I just want to play a game of hide-and-seek with my kids and then pray that they never find me (spoiler alert: I’ll be in the closet, watching Netflix and eating a package of Soft Batch cookies).
You Drive Me Crazy (Britney Spears) Let me refresh your memory, just in case you aren’t as familiar with this song. The first sentence of the chorus is, “You drive me crazy, I just can’t sleep.” Everything about this entire sentence rings true in my life right now.
I Want It That Way (Backstreet Boys) I don’t know why in the world I thought it was a good idea to start a chore chart for my four-year-old. Me going back and re-doing all of his chores ‘the right way’ is more of a chore for me than anything else. Yes, I do realize that I’m paying him for me to do his chores… all because I want it done my way. Stupid, huh? (Side note: I think I may have a slight control issue.)
Say My Name (Destiny’s Child) Pretty sure it’s not just my own children who take this one to the extreme. Seriously, it’s like they think we’re dishing out candy for every time they say the word, ‘Mommy.’ Hey kids, how ‘bout I give you an entire bag of M&M’s if you can go more than two minutes without saying my name? On that note… I’m filing a motion, on behalf of moms everywhere, to have the song changed to “Don’t Say My Name (Ever, Ever, Ever Again).” Now that’s a song I can get behind, people.
Livin’ La Vida Loca (Ricky Martin) Translation: Living the crazy life. If that doesn’t sum up every hour, of every day, of the last four years of my life, I don’t know what does.
All I Wanna Do (Sheryl Crow) All I wanna do is go to the bathroom by myself, just one time, with no one pounding to get in like they’re trying to escape the T-rex from Jurassic Park. That and go to bed and sleep for the next hundred years.
Hold On (Wilson Phillips) Was this song written just for me? Because I’m pretty sure I say those two words more than I breathe.
Quit Playing Games With My Heart (Backstreet Boys) My toddler is Jekyll and Hyde… one minute he’s as sweet as sugar, sharing tons of hugs and cuddles… the next minute, he’s throwing himself down on the floor and screaming because I won’t let him have sugar. One minute, my heart is bursting with love and the next minute I’m trying to figure out how I can pawn him off on the grandparents for the day. I’m at a loss. I just need him to be the same kid for more than ten seconds in a row.
Oops… I Did It Again (Britney Spears) Did what again? Tackled your brother? Peed in the trashcan? Because I’m pretty sure I told you all of three seconds ago not to do either one, so that doesn’t really qualify as an accident, now does it?
Don’t Speak (No Doubt) Because what mom hasn’t looked at her child, who’s in the middle of a full-blown temper-tantrum and thought, “Where’s the duct tape?” If you haven’t, then you’re a better liar mom than me. And now that I think about it, a verse about duct tape would be perfect for my new song “Don’t Say My Name (Ever, Ever, Ever Again).”
MMMBop (Hanson) Since I’ve never understood any of the words in this song, I will liken it to trying to understand what my one-year-old wants when he excitedly babbles and points at absolutely nothing. That, or the string of not-so-nice words that run through my head when I step on a toy in the middle of the night.
Genie In A Bottle (Christina Aguilera) My toddler repeatedly asks me to do the impossible. I’m sorry; I cannot make it stop raining so you can go outside and play in the sandbox and I can’t make lightning bugs fly straight into your bug box. I can’t wipe the freckles off of your arm and I can’t teleport our entire family to Disney World because you want to go right this very minute. Seriously, where’s the flippin’ genie when you need him?
Whatta Man (Salt-N-Pepa with En Vogue) Yep, I’ve got a keeper. I’m so fortunate to have him as my sidekick for this whole parenting thing. He is always giving, ever loving and completely forgiving. He keeps me sane (and trust me, people, that is not an easy feat).
I Will Always Love You (Whitney Houston) On our good days and on our bad days, I will always love you, my little rotten rascals… no matter what.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go make a playlist of these songs, titled ‘Momma Made It Through Another Day.’