A Gift for Mom! 🤍

Let’s face it, the social media world is scary. Especially for parents. We try to protect our children from on-line predators and bullies. We try to educate them about using apps on their phone and appropriate rules for interacting with others. Sometimes we focus so much on them that we forget we must also educate ourselves. Then there are times where we lose focus and forget that our children don’t just need rules and lectures, they need us.

Enter social media challenges. You probably remember some harmless challenges, like the Mannequin Challenge, or the Harlem Shake. Plus, there are awareness-raising challenges, like the 22 Push-Ups (soldier suicide) or the Ice Bucket Challenge (ALS).

Do you also recall the Cinnamon Challenge (swallow a tablespoon of cinnamon without liquids – could result in choking and respiratory problems)? The Salt and Ice Challenge was popular several years ago (put salt on your skin, then hold ice on it, and see how long you can stand the burning sensation – could result  in frostbite or third degree burns). The Choking Game was popular with those wanting a temporary “high” (choke to temporarily cut off oxygen to the brain – could result in death). Then there was the Fire Challenge (pour flammable liquid on self and light it – could result in serious burns or death).

Enter our newest social media challenge. The Blue Whale Challenge. This new craze is so controversial that people can’t even decide if it’s real or not. It allegedly started in Russia, spread to Europe, and has now made it to the Americas. The challenge involves 50 tasks that start off as seemingly harmless (watch a scary movie) and then progressively get more dangerous or intense (carve in your skin, stand on the edge of a high building). These tasks are assigned by a “whale” or curator, and evidence of task completion is sent via social media.

The way to “win” the challenge is by completing suicide. While broadcasting it on social media.

Yes, you read that correctly. To “win” this challenge, you have to kill yourself. As a parent and therapist – geez, as a HUMAN BEING – this is SCARY! What kind of monster gets a kick out of assigning the tasks and then watching someone die?

In San Antonio, 15-year-old Isaiah Gonzalez completed the game by killing himself. His parents found him hanging in his room, his phone propped up and broadcasting the scene. His is the first confirmed Blue Whale death in the United States. Investigators are also looking into a 16-year-old girl’s suicide in Atlanta.

Don’t assume your children can’t fall victim to this challenge. One journalist in Europe was able to contact a challenge curator. The curator stated once the challenge was started, there was no way out, and stated that if the person tried to get out, “I have all your information, they will come after you” (source: www.higgypop.com/blog/blue-whale-challenge/).

Children and teenagers are subject to impulsivity and emotions. This challenge preys on those traits, as well as becoming a psychological game. The curator grooms the challenger, just like a sexual predator would groom a victim. Things start out small and seem easy. Then they increase just enough to make the person uncomfortable but still seem like “no big deal.” Then they increase again, and again, and again.

Some of the tasks involve getting up at 4:20 am. Allow me to point this out: when you are sleep-deprived, you don’t think as clearly. Sleep also affects your mood and health. You make more impulsive decisions.

In other words, the challenge is DESIGNED to break you down.

Parents, this is your wake-up call! Get your nose out of your phone and pay attention to your children. Don’t be a “friend” to your kids. Be a parent. Be nosy. Be watchful. Be annoyingly in their business. Show them you care. Talk to them. Note changes in their behaviors. Read what they are posting online. Know their friends, and talk with their friends so they are comfortable coming to you if they see any concerning behaviors.

Some people argue that only people who are already suicidal will do the Blue Whale Challenge.

Does that seriously mean we should ignore it? Should we ignore the grooming and psychological games that are being used? Um, no! Those things can work on anyone, but especially on those who have insecurities or doubts or who need attention. I just described most teenagers!

What if it was your kid working towards completing this challenge?

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Jessica McCaslin

Jessica is a mom who is working outside the home part-time and who is learning to cope with the ever-changing daily challenges of full-time parenthood. She graduated with her Master's degree in community counseling from the University of Nebraska at Kearney in 2005, and works with a diverse mental health population. Jessica resides in Central Nebraska with her husband and four children on the family ranch.

Ask For the Playdate

In: Kids
Kids playing at park

When my only child was finishing up his first year of preschool a few years ago, I knew he would miss having friends to play with regularly over the summer. One day at pickup, he invited a friend from his class to come to our house.  His friend seemed interested. Her mom and I agreed it would be nice to have a playdate, but never really made plans as we were getting the kids to the car. I am not an outgoing person, and I always prefer someone else to ask me to do something, rather than being the one...

Keep Reading

My Daughter Said “No” and I Listened

In: Kids
Young girl reading picture book on mother's lap

The other day, my daughter said no. Not quietly. Not hesitantly.Just a simple, confident “no.” And for a moment, I saw it happen. That instinct so many of us were taught to ignore. That pause where girls start to second-guess themselves. But she didn’t shrink. And I realized…I’m not raising her the way I was raised. I was raised to be polite.To be agreeable.To not make things uncomfortable. And while those things sound harmless on the surface, they come with an unspoken lesson. One that a lot of us learned early, without even realizing it. Be easy.Be likable.Be quiet if...

Keep Reading

A Letter To the “Extra” Moms

In: Kids
Mom and young son shooting off firework

This is for the moms who go above and beyond for their children, the “magic makers” and “childhood savers.” While moms are always giving boundless love and doing selfless acts for their kids, “extra” moms make motherhood sparkle. You constantly prioritize your child’s well-being and happiness—it is your number one focus. You are out there creating unforgettable moments that shape your family’s lives. You make birthdays unforgettable, complete with themes, elaborate food, and decorations, and lots of thought and loving time behind each to make every year as special as the last. You make each holiday a wonderland to behold...

Keep Reading

Ellis and the Puffers

In: Kids
Little boy holding dandelion puff flowers

Ellis is a dreamer, loves stories of every kind, library books, Star Wars, and all things magical. He especially loves stories from when his mom was little, and prefers that they be shared in her lap. One of his favorite stories from when his mom was a child is the one about puffers—dandelions that bring wishes, and the special square in the backyard that Grandpa left unmowed every year so Ellis’s mom and her big sister and two big brothers could always have access to their wish makers. Ellis made a point of gathering puffers every day on their walk...

Keep Reading

Strong-Willed Kids Are Not a Problem, They Just Need a Different Approach

In: Kids
Child with wide smile and arms out behind her

Some kids don’t just say “no.” They mean it. They resist direction. They question instructions. They want to do things their own way, even when it would be easier to follow along. These children are often labeled as stubborn. But what if that behavior is not the problem? What if it is the beginning of something important? Strong-willed children are not trying to be difficult. They are trying to make sense of the world in their own way. They want to understand why something matters before they commit to it. When they are told what to do without explanation, they...

Keep Reading

He Waited for Me By the Window and It Felt Like Love

In: Kids
Chair in office

Yesterday I went to urgent care. I had a sore throat, and my doctor had no openings. It was super disappointing because I actually had plans in the morning to see my grandson, and in the evening to go out of town for my sister’s birthday party. It was the rare occasion that everything was already set up. After my insanely long bout of pneumonia and being tethered to my nebulizer for so long, I was looking forward to it with enthusiasm. Of course, par for the course, life had other plans. Instead of being just a 24-hour nuisance, it...

Keep Reading

Feeding Neurodiverse Kids is a College-Level Course

In: Kids
Child eating bagel

Imagine a theoretical college course designed for parents called Proper Family Mealtimes. The class focuses on the core ingredients required to have a truly connected meal: dinner etiquette, polite conversation, menu planning, and hosting. Backed by scientific research, parents will gain knowledge of simple yet practical steps to make mealtime meaningful again. My family would fail this course. When it comes to etiquette, shirts and formal seating are optional. My children pass on polite conversation, swapping in slang like “bruh” whenever possible. Our meal plan rotates between five kid favorites with the option to reject them all, at which point...

Keep Reading

As a Medical Mom, I Measure Growth Differently

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little girl climbing outside

In most homes, the marks on the wall are a simple celebration of time passing. They are pencil lines that track how many inches a child has gained since their last birthday. But in our home, those marks represent a much deeper, more complex story. When your child lives with multiple hormone deficiencies, growth is never just “natural”—it is a carefully managed medical achievement. However, as any medical mom knows, the story doesn’t end at the top of the head. It begins deep inside, with a tiny gland that isn’t sending the right signals. Having multiple hormone deficiencies is often...

Keep Reading

Helping My Son Through Bullying Is Healing Something In Me Too

In: Kids
Family sitting on porch

Bedtime is when my kids tend to open up the most. The lights are low, the day is winding down, and their guard finally comes down with it. One night, my son told me he had been having a really hard time at school. Some boys had been so relentless that he left the cafeteria before finishing his breakfast, deciding it was better to go hungry than face more teasing. Because he’s such a kind boy with a big heart for others, seeing him face that kind of cruelty made my heart ache even more. It wasn’t the first time...

Keep Reading

Robotics Kids Are Building More than You Can See

In: Kids
Robotics kid watching competition

These robotics kids are going to shape our future. I think this every time I watch an elementary, middle school, or high school competition. My thoughts go back many years to when my middle child, who was six at the time, went with my husband to the high school robotics shop. They were only stopping in briefly to pick up some engineering kits, but my child quickly became captivated by what the “big kids” were doing. He stood quietly watching until one student walked over and asked if he would like to see what they were working on. My son,...

Keep Reading