A Gift for Mom! 🤍

“But mom, there’s this kid in the classroom and he gets all this extra help and attention. It’s not fair.”

How many kids feel this way? As they sit in the classroom concentrating on their work, they see some students receive extra help, extra time, limited choices, and even the option to work with another teacher. Sometimes these other students even get to take a different test, move to another part of the classroom, or wear headphones. There are so many things happening that are different for some kids than for others. It’s confusing and it’s a completely legitimate concern and feeling for many students, especially when the situation isn’t explained.

But there’s another side. As teachers, we can’t explain specifics regarding why some students get more attention than others. The individual reasons are confidential. So we have to get creative.

I was a special education teacher in the public school system for seven years. Now preparing future teachers at the university level, I have a trick I’d like to pass on to you for use in the home or the classroom. Honestly, I don’t even remember how I came up with it. But it is, by far, the most effective way I’ve ever found to explain accommodations and extra help for students with disabilities to the entire classroom or to your own children without singling anybody out. It’s a method I feel should be used in every classroom at the beginning of the year because it promotes acceptance and understanding. Kids act out or become upset often out of fear of the unknown. So explain it to them. Teach them. Help them understand why some get more help. And feel free to use my method. Let me paint you a picture…

The Dollar Bill Hanging From the Ceiling

As my students walk into the classroom and take their seats, they notice two crisp dollar bills hanging next to each other from the ceiling. As they filter in, I slyly choose two students (one much taller than the other) and ask them to join me in the hall for a moment. I explain to them what I will be demonstrating and ask their permission to help me. If their intended role makes them uncomfortable, I choose other students and ask the same. I’ve never had anyone not okay with helping, but being respectful is of the utmost importance to me for this demonstration.

As all students take their seats, the two students helping me come to the front of the class and stand directly underneath the dollar bills hanging above their heads. I announce to the class that the first student to reach his or her dollar bill will get to keep BOTH of them. Our class counts down together, “1, 2, 3, GO!” Immediately, the taller student grabs the dollar bill and wins the contest. We all clap as I hand both dollar bills to the taller student. Both students take their seats and I pretend that’s the end of the demonstration and continue on with class.

But inevitably, I overhear some whispers. “That wasn’t fair.” And so I use the whispers to my teaching advantage. I announce, “You know what, guys? I’m hearing some whispers that my contest wasn’t fair. What do you think?” We then begin a conversation about the fact that it’s nobody’s fault that one student was taller and the other wasn’t able to reach. So what can we do?

I call the same two students up and hang the dollar bills from the ceiling again. This time, I allow the shorter student to stand on a chair underneath one dollar bill. Same rules. “1, 2, 3, GO!” Inevitably, both students reach for their own dollar bill and get to it at the same time. Nobody gets two this time because it was a tie. Both students get to keep their own dollar bill. So what just happened? It’s now time to explain this to the classroom.

We leveled the playing field. You see, a chair is an accommodation not unlike extended time, fewer choices, headphones, or leaving the classroom. Both of these students, regardless of their height, deserved to reach the same goal in the end. They both equally deserved that dollar bill and it wasn’t the fault of the shorter student that he or she hasn’t grown as tall as the other. The rules just weren’t fair.

Education is no different. Some students have difficulties or even disabilities we can’t see. The material we study can’t be identical for every student. Sometimes they just need a chair. Sometimes we have to make adjustments for students in order to allow them to get to the same goal as everyone else. We all deserve the best education. We all deserve to reach our goals, but some of us just need a little more help because of the way we were born.

So we give those students a chair. We give them what they need in order to be successful.

***

I truly hope you all have an amazing school year, and please feel free to use my demonstration for your own classroom or children. I will consider it an honor.

Respectfully,

Mrs. Bailey Koch, M.A.Ed. – Special Education

You may also like:

When God is in the Classroom

Special Education Teachers and Staff, I See You

To the Paraprofessional Who Will Spend the School Year With My Child

Want more stories of love, family, and faith from the heart of every home, delivered straight to you? Sign up here! 

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Bailey Koch

Bailey Koch is an advocate for those who can't easily advocate for themselves in every way. Married to her hottie hubby, whom has survived 5+ suicide attempts, and mom to two teenage boys, the oldest with High Functioning Autism and youngest with Epilepsy, Bailey is passionate about mental health and parenting through the messy realities. Additionally, Bailey is a Doctor of Special Education and works as an instructor at the University of Nebraska at Kearney preparing future special educators to be advocates for the learning of all. Bailey and her husband, Jeremy, have written and published two books. "Never Alone: A Husband and Wife's Journey with Depression and Faith" details their struggles with severe depression and the journey toward understanding their purpose, accepting help, and finding faith. "When the House Feels Sad: Helping You Understand Depression" is written for families, at a child's level, to open up a conversation about the reality of Depression. Follow their journey, the triumphs and the challenges, on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/anchoringhopeformentalhealth and Instagram at @anchoringhopeformentalhealth.

These Holy Small Things

In: Faith, Motherhood
Children sewing at machine

My 8-year-old-daughter has recently taken up sewing, to my simultaneous delight and chagrin. My delight because I too love sewing; my chagrin because her enthusiasm often outpaces my own abilities, namely, in the undertaking of tedious projects with no pattern. Take, for example, the cloth doll diaper we designed and stitched up together. Granted, the design was fairly basic to draw up and scale. But the minuscule nature of the work, both for my hands and head, was enough to throw me into existential questioning. It was one of those moments when you wonder how the sum of your life...

Keep Reading

The Pressure to Do Everything “Right” Is Crushing Us

In: Motherhood
Tired and stressed mother sits in hallway with toddler across from her, black and white image

I don’t remember when motherhood started to feel like a test I didn’t study for—but somehow, I’m always convinced I’m failing it. It’s in the quiet moments. Standing in the grocery store aisle, overthinking every label—organic, non-GMO, dye-free, free-range, grass-fed—like I’m one bad decision away from ruining their future…while also trying not to take out a second mortgage just to afford my ever-rising grocery bill. Sitting on the couch, wondering if the show they’re watching or game they’re playing is rotting their brain. Lying in bed at night, replaying the way I handled a meltdown, picking apart every word I...

Keep Reading

Letting You Go Is Still So Hard

In: Grown Children, Motherhood
Walkway toward water at sunset

Nothing really prepares you for the day your child leaves the house. Last September, my husband and I moved our 18-year-old son into his dorm room. Right after that, he was swept away into all things orientation, and we began our 1,000-mile journey back home. Leaving this beautiful human I raised and spent all those years with felt foreign. During our final hug goodbye, despite trying to hold in my pain, I broke out in huge, ugly, guttural tears. Our drive home was a long two days. It took every fiber of my being not to turn around. Returning to...

Keep Reading

Behind Every Smiling Graduate Is a Mother Letting Go

In: Grown Children, Motherhood
Mom and grown son smiling

Every year, millions of American families send their children off to their freshman year of college. Their pictures dot our social media feeds. Images of excited students holding collegiate pennants, maybe wearing a hat or holding up their school’s hand sign with beaming smiles. Their parents post excited words about futures and hopes and dreams. One chapter closing. Another opening. A new beginning. So why am I struggling so much? Why does this feel more like a loss than a gain? Why are my tears always on edge, threatening to spill over each time I think about August and what...

Keep Reading

Life Lessons from My Grown Children

In: Faith, Motherhood
Two women's hands on teacups

“Don’t limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time.” – Rabindranath Tagore Quietly communing with a loved one in the early morning hours is such an intimate and precious time. Visiting with one’s grown child when all is dark and still is one of life’s purest pleasures. I remember the conversation clearly. My daughter’s husband, small children, and father were all asleep as we whispered and chatted. She and I are both fidgeters by nature, unable to be still for long. This inner restlessness must be remedied, and we are compelled by biology to...

Keep Reading

As a Medical Mom, I Measure Growth Differently

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little girl climbing outside

In most homes, the marks on the wall are a simple celebration of time passing. They are pencil lines that track how many inches a child has gained since their last birthday. But in our home, those marks represent a much deeper, more complex story. When your child lives with multiple hormone deficiencies, growth is never just “natural”—it is a carefully managed medical achievement. However, as any medical mom knows, the story doesn’t end at the top of the head. It begins deep inside, with a tiny gland that isn’t sending the right signals. Having multiple hormone deficiencies is often...

Keep Reading

Hannah Harper Is Every Mom with Babies in Her Arms and a Dream In Her Heart

In: Living, Motherhood
Hannah Harper American Idol winner sings with her young son on her lap

By now, you’ve probably seen the posts flooding your feed: A young mom. Three little boys. A guitar strap embroidered with her children’s drawings. And a crown. When Hannah Harper won American Idol this week, moms everywhere erupted. And honestly? Same. There is something collective about watching a stay-at-home mom win on such a large stage. The celebrations have been pouring in. Moms, we can do it. She didn’t abandon her dreams. She went for it. And all of that is true, and all of that is worth celebrating. But I want to add something to the celebration. Not to...

Keep Reading

Watching Your Children Build the Life You Prayed For Is Beautiful

In: Grown Children, Motherhood
Mother dancing with son at wedding

“I love you, Mom.” “Hmmm?” (A little louder) “I love you.” “I love you too…so very much.” I’d been deep in thought, listening to the lyrics we were slowly dancing to. I knew this moment of ours was supposed to be the time to say all the things, but this boy and I had already said all the things, so the song the deejay played—written by Lori McKenna and sung by Tim McGraw—enchanted our ears: When the dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you When the work you put in is realized Let yourself feel the pride but Always stay humble...

Keep Reading

I Lost My Daughter on Mother’s Day: 3 Truths I’m Believing Today

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Woman and young daughter smiling

Editor’s note: This post discusses child loss Child loss changes Mother’s Day. My 19-month-old, Julia, died suddenly on Mother’s Day in 2024. Three months later, her autopsy revealed she had B-cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (B-ALL, also known as SUDNIC). Julia died a week after we did an embryo transfer at an IVF clinic in an attempt to have a second child. We found out three days after Julia’s death that the embryo did not make it either. Six months later, we did another embryo transfer that succeeded, and I now have an 8-month-old daughter, Lucy Mei (“Mei Mei” means “little...

Keep Reading

If You Give a Mom a Bouquet…

In: Motherhood
Woman arranging bouquet of pink flowers on table

If you give a mom a bouquet… She goes to grab a vase to put it in. As she grabs the vase, she also grabs the duster because she knows the spot for the vase is probably dusty and she has guests coming for dinner. As she begins dusting, she notices the stack of books that needs to go back on the shelf. When she gets to the shelf, she sees the bendy action figures in battle formation that need to go back in the bin. When she gets to the bin, she spots the toy food that needs to...

Keep Reading