I’ve read a lot of articles about parents and decision fatigue, specifically regarding schools. Do I send my kids back to physical school? Do I switch to private school? Do I homeschool? Do I choose distance learning? These are real and big decisions.
For a variety of reasons, my family and I are choosing to homeschool. This is a big change for us, and it won’t necessarily be easy. See, I love sending my kids to school. I love walking up to the bus stop with my coffee in hand, talking with the other neighborhood parents, watching our kids run around and climb a tree before the big yellow bus pulls up the hill.
I call my kids over, give them a blessing and a kiss, and send them on their way knowing they will be invested in and taught by amazing, loving teachers all day long, surrounded by their beloved friends. The community element of school is important to me. But we are stepping away from that this year and quite honestly, it’s been one of the easier decisions we have had to make for our family in our specific circumstances.
It is the daily decisions that are the hardest for me.
Can my kids have a play date with yet another family and expand our circle? I really need to go to the grocery store; do I take my kids with me? I have preferred to have my groceries delivered for years because I already didn’t like taking my kids to the store. They fight, they beg for treats or candy, they whine, and they wrestle. Now I don’t like taking my kids to the store because I have to mask them up, remind them not to touch things, and constantly tell them to keep their distance from people. And they still wrestle.
These daily decisions are exhausting and I know I’m not alone. Decisions are hard, especially when you are making decisions on behalf of other people whether that be kids, an elderly parent, or someone else. Lately, I hear more and more people announcing they are tired and just “done” with this new reality we are living in.
While praying over our collective exhaustion and “done-ness,” Deuteronomy 31:8 came to my mind. I love this version from the Message:
“God is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; He won’t leave you. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t worry.”
God strides ahead of us. A stride is a long, decisive step in a specific direction. Let that sink in for a minute—God doesn’t walk slowly or timidly, He strides ahead of us.
It makes me think of a mom who is braver than I am, taking her child to the grocery store. She holds her child’s hand, striding through the parking lot with her big, long steps as her child holds her hand tightly, trying to keep up. Mom knows how to avoid cars, when to stop, when to cross, and the best door to use to get into their destination. Mom knows where to go even if the child is distracted by everything else going on around them—she is always there, one step ahead.
No matter how distracted we are, no matter how tired we are, no matter how confused we feel about where we are heading, no matter how scary the future may seem, God is decisively leading the way for us.
He isn’t going to change his direction or let us down, and that gives me hope and eases my worry.
Yes, everything feels like a lot right now, but even though we are exhausted and unsure and overwhelmed and full of doubt, God strides on and he invites us to walk with Him. He’s holding out His hand for you to hold. Stride on, sister.