To the countless people — post after post — in my news feed getting engaged and married…

I hope your marriage makes you want to die.

… Every day. To yourself.

To love somebody else more than you love yourself. To put somebody’s needs before your own. To die of yourself for the love of them. To sacrifice all of your selfish wants and desires, to lay them before your spouse’s feet.

I hope that you fall…

… Together. Onto your knees in prayer.

Don’t walk towards the Lord, run. It is not enough to simply “love” your spouse, but our marriage thirsts for the Grace of God. You are responsible for your partner’s soul, don’t let it slip away.

To everyone on my news feed posting photos of them and their “best friend:” you look so content with your relationship. I hope that doesn’t last forever.

I hope that you never settle for a life of complacency. I hope that you strive for more than what is comfortable. I hope that you never quit moving forward, that you never say, “Good enough.”

Comfort and peace are great blessings. But do not let comfort become a stumbling block. Do not become weak and dependent on your routine and your securities. Challenge yourself. Be challenged.

When you get married… I hope you suffer.

I hope your relationship with your spouse brings you more pain and suffering than you’ve ever known.

Suffering: like the love that Christ had for us brought to him. When our bridegroom suffered and died on the cross for us, His bride, the Church.

I hope that in your love and suffering, you can finally come to understand the love that Christ has for you. And in that understanding, I hope that every day you love Him more. And as you love Him more, I hope you fall more deeply, deeply in love with your spouse.

And not the kind of “#goals” love we double tap on Instagram, but the kind that makes you weep. A love so profound that it escapes from your body and presents your soul.

To love means to suffer. A certain denying of oneself, so that there might be new life.

Ephesians 5:22-33
and the two flesh will become one

Kiley Shuler

Kiley is a new momma, devout Catholic, servant of Christ, happy wife, and proponent for life. She also drinks entirely way too much coffee and gets tipsy off two glasses of wine.