To My Firstborn As You Become A Big Sister

Life has changed again. It’s a wonderful and exciting change that has come to our family as we welcomed our second baby, but I have to wonder what my firstborn who is still a baby herself thinks about this new sibling. Is she jealous? Does she think I’ve replaced her? Does she think we love her less? It’s something that’s been on my mind quite a bit lately, and I need to write out these words.

To my baby who is now a big sister,

Sweet girl, our life has changed, just like it changed when you joined our family. Your daddy and I have a small idea of what this change will continue to look like and how it will affect our family and our routine; you in all your trusting ways only know that we have always loved and cared for you. You know that you’ve been the center of our world for 18 months now. You know that one cry of, “Mommy!” has always had me coming to check on you or rescue you from nap time. But things are a little different now. We have two babies crying out for me, and you have to share the spotlight. You are and will continue to be a great big sister; you’re so sweet and sensitive, and you love giving kisses and hugs, but there are a few things I want you to know right now and always.

You are the baby who made me a mommy, and, while I won’t pick favorites and will love all of my children equally, there is just something special about the firstborn. Your firsts were my firsts, and they have all been thoroughly gushed over and proudly described in exceeding detail to every willing listener (and probably several unwilling ones!). You are the first baby I delivered, the first baby I rocked to sleep and sang lullabies to, the first baby whose first steps I both cheered and mourned in a way that only mommies do, and the first baby who called me Mommy.

Though I now have two babies to rock, love, and care for, I want you to know above all else that my love for you has neither changed nor diminished. I will still cuddle with you when you wake up in the mornings and just aren’t ready to face the world yet, and I will still rock you to sleep at night. We will still read books and play games, go for walks and jump in the leaves, visit the park and the library and have play dates with your friends.

I’ll still lose my patience when you just won’t listen, but I’ll still apologize for my impatience, too. I’ll have to feed, change, and hold your sister, and that may sometimes mean that you have to wait for a minute, but I promise to put your sister down to focus on just you, too. I’ll stand up for your sister if you steal her blanket or accidentally come close to running over her with your bike, but one day she’ll be big enough to do things like that to you, and, when that day comes, I’ll be the first to stand up for you, as well. We’ll still have Mommy-Daughter dates, and you’ll still have special things with just Daddy; your sister has these things to look forward to, too, and, when it’s her turn, I know you’ll be excited for her.

I still won’t be a perfect mom, but I won’t expect you to be a perfect daughter, either. I will still mess things up, but I’ll still do my best for you and your sister.

And, above all, I will always fight for you and work for you and keep your best interest behind every decision.

You are and will forever be my sweet girl, my precious daughter, and my best bud. Always, always.