Baby number WHAT?!?!
Okay, okay, I know having FIVE children in the modern world is a bit of an anomaly, but the responses we have gotten from sharing our joyful (to us!) news has been a bit over-the-top. You see, my husband and I always dreamt of a big family, verbally expressing four to five children as our ultimate number.
After having three, I must say I had to do some convincing to keep going, as my husband felt our hands were pretty full. I do agree our hands were pretty full, but I still felt our hearts could handle more. I’m not certain, however, that my postpartum hormones would ever fully be done, but I do feel at peace during this pregnancy and like I’m finally at my closure point in the baby production stage.
Now, it’s time to focus even more on raising these little ones to be the best human beings possible.
Humor me here. When announcing our first, second, and even third pregnancies, the reactions were normal, joyful reactions: Congratulations! How exciting; you are just glowing! I bet the boys are so excited to get a little baby brother! Your little family just keeps growing!
Once we announced our fourth pregnancy, the reactions were a bit more lackluster and we got some crazy eye reactions, but not extensively.
Announcing our fifth pregnancy? Hilarious. I could probably write a book. To be honest, I was hesitant to tell people outside my immediate family for fear of judgment.
Now, please, if your comment happens to be below, do know that our feelings truly weren’t hurt. Most humans just don’t know what to say at this point, and we recognize and respect that. We are all just trying our best and sometimes our best includes putting our foot in our mouths. I am most certain I have put my foot in my mouth many times during my 30-some years.
Here are a few worth jotting down for others who might be expecting and in the same realm of being carriers of a large family, which by the way, we know is an incredible blessing, being able to reproduce, and we never take that for granted.
Buckle up, fellow moms and dads of large families, the comments can be a little ruthless.
“You are psycho!”
“Are you just going to keep having kids forever?”
“Oh Lord, that baby is just going to fall out of you.” (Okay, this one was a little offensive).
“Wow!” (This one always gets me to giggle. It’s a sugarcoated way of saying “You are crazy.”)
“How will you afford this?”
“Was this planned?!”
“You have an entire basketball team!”
No, we aren’t psycho. No, we aren’t going to keep having kids forever. Actually, I have focused on my pelvic floor health for many years and feel confident that my innards aren’t going to fall out. We are fiscally being as responsible as possible and work extremely hard to be able to support our children. YES, this was planned. And, cool, I don’t think they will ever all play basketball together, though. Can you believe it?
Also, I’m being a little dramatic because we’ve also received many congratulatory wishes and positive comments from those who believe having a larger family is such a blessing.
No matter what your family size and type, I would like to encourage and remind you of the following: whether you get comments about having only one child, no children, fostered children, adopted children, fur babies, or the like, people are genuinely just trying to respond appropriately for the most part.
Your family is meant for YOU.
Big or small, one child, all boys, blended, all girls, biologically birthed or adopted. Your family is no mistake, and you are the exact right mother for your children. You are doing an amazing job, and no one can do it better for your specific family. Some seasons are hard, some are smooth sailing, but keep on keeping on and, take it from me . . . take harsh comments with a grain of salt.