Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

Sometimes I feel like the mom version of the Terminator. Unlike Arnold Schwarzenegger’s iconic character, when I look at my outside world I don’t see the stats of my enemies, I just see stuff that needs to be done:

Visual: one-year-old baby
Running on 95% energy
Caution: diaper full of poop

Visual: basket full of dirty laundry
Running at 99% capacity
Caution: may smell like old gym socks

My mind never stops. The list of things that need to get done, places my children need to be, and appointments yet to be made never does either after all. I’m in a constant state of GO—if I stop to have a quick bite to eat while the baby is down for his nap that’s about it. I think I feel this way because in some ways our modern society has made me and maybe you feel this way, too?

However, the truth is I’m not a great homemaker. There, I said it. If this were 1955 it would have been as if I just admitted to some kind of default in the standard wife/mother/caretaker role that so many of our grandmothers were at the time. I often wonder how they did it all—the mothering, the cooking, the cleaning, keeping the husband happy, being Godly, being eloquent, being smart, being strong yet feminine, and all while looking gorgeous and put-together. I mean we really have it so much easier now don’t we?

Right?

Or maybe we don’t—because after all we are expected to be all of those things and then some. It’s exhausting isn’t it? As a modern day mother/wife/woman I often feel much like I think my grandmother must have. As if I have so many plates spinning at once, and if one should dare fall, I will be criticized and judged for not having it all together. But you just know that eventually one plate will fall, because I’m a mother not a machine. I’m human and we make mistakes. Yes, even mothers. 

If you look out across the vast canvas of social media today, you’ll see articles about how one mom feels like she’s a better mom because her house is dirty and her kids are happy. Then on the next article, you’ll see another mom stating the opposite opinion, because somehow our children’s happiness is tied to whether or not our houses are clean or not?

Does it really matter? Am I a bad mom because my house is almost always clean? No, I’m not. What about my sister, who works full-time and only has time to clean her house on the weekend . . . is she a bad mom? Heck no! We’re both good moms.

Until this unnecessary standard is lifted from the eyes of our culture, we will always be trying to keep up. Even those of us that have always been proud to be a woman, and made it a point to support our fellow ladies are sometimes guilty of it. I know I’ve let a snide comment or two slip from my lips about another woman’s mothering or less than stellar cooking skills in the past. We’re all only human. We’re sinners. Yet, God forgives us but we somehow can’t forgive each other for our downfalls?

We need to do better. We need to build each other up not tear each other down. I know it’s hard to do in this day and age when we all feel the weight of the world on our shoulders. We have families who need us, husbands who rely on us, and careers that beckon us and sometimes it’s just hard to stay positive. It’s hard to look out for a woman we barely know when all we want is someone to do the same for us.

But, if we ever want the mom shaming and ridiculous expectations placed upon our gender to end we have to be the change. We need to reach out to our friend that is struggling with anxiety, and ask her what we can do to help. We need to call up that new mama who hasn’t slept in days, and tell her we’re coming over to relieve her for a few hours so she can sleep. It really is that simple.

Until the day arrives when women can have extra bionic arms to rock their crying babies while they read the paper at lightning speed from across the room, we need to remember we’re not superhuman. Although it may feel like we operate like well-oiled machines that keep our families moving at any given moment, we are, in fact, not machines—we’re mothers who need breaks sometimes and the chance to be given a little grace from time to time. 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Britt LeBoeuf

Britt is a married mother of two from northern New York. She has an undergraduate degree in Human Services. When she's not chasing down her two young children, she writes for sites such as Her View From Home, Scary Mommy, Filter Free Parents and Sammiches and Psych Meds. Check out her first published book, "Promises of Pineford" on Amazon too. On her blog, These Boys of Mine, she talks about parenting only boys, special needs parenting, mental health advocacy, being a miscarriage survivor and life as a crazy cat lady. 

Stop Putting an Expiration Date on Making Memories

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and son in small train ride

We get 12 times to play Santa (if we’re lucky). This phrase stopped my scroll on a Sunday evening. I had an idea of the direction this post was going but I continued on reading. 12 spring breaks 12 easter baskets 20 tooth fairy visits 13 first days of school 1 first date 1-2 proms 1-2 times of seeing them in their graduation cap and gown 18 summers under the same roof And so on and so on. It was essentially another post listing the number of all the monumental moments that we, Lord willing, will get to experience with our...

Keep Reading

Connecting with My Teen Son Will Always Be Worth the Wait

In: Motherhood, Teen
Teen boy standing near lamppost, color photo

So much of parenting teens is just waiting around, whether it’s in the car picking them up, reading in waiting rooms now that they are old enough to visit the dentist alone, and quite honestly, a lot of sitting around at home while they cocoon in their rooms or spend hours FaceTiming friends. Sure, you have your own life. You work, run a household, have your own friends, and plan solo adventures to show your teen that you’re not just waiting around for them all the time. That you are cool with them not needing you so much. But deep...

Keep Reading

This Is Why Moms Ask for Experience Gifts

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Mother and young daughter under Christmas lights wearing red sweaters

When a mama asks for experience gifts for her kids for Christmas, please don’t take it as she’s ungrateful or a Scrooge. She appreciates the love her children get, she really does. But she’s tired. She’s tired of the endless number of toys that sit in the bottom of a toy bin and never see the light of day. She’s tired of tripping over the hundreds of LEGOs and reminding her son to pick them up so the baby doesn’t find them and choke. She’s tired of having four Elsa dolls (we have baby Elsa, Barbie Elsa, a mini Elsa,...

Keep Reading

6 Things You Can Do Now to Help Kids Remember Their Grandparents

In: Grief, Living, Loss, Motherhood
Grandfather dances with granddaughter in kitchen

A month ago, my mom unexpectedly passed away. She was a vibrant 62-year-old grandma to my 4-year-old son who regularly exercised and ate healthy. Sure, she had some health scares—breast cancer and two previous brain aneurysms that had been operated on successfully—but we never expected her to never come home after her second surgery on a brain aneurysm. It has been devastating, to say the least, and as I comb through pictures and videos, I have gathered some tips for other parents of young kids to do right now in case the unexpected happens, and you’re left scrambling to never...

Keep Reading

To the Parents Who Coach: Thank You

In: Living, Motherhood
Mother with young son in soccer uniform, color photo

I always planned on being an involved parent, whatever that would mean. Never an athlete, always athletic, I joined the swim team in high school, taught swim lessons for spending money as a college freshman, played intramural soccer at 10 p.m. on weeknights on a college team with a ridiculous name. Later, mama to only one baby, finding extra dollars wherever I could, I coached track. And then, my own babies really started to play sports. I promised myself I would volunteer as possible, but something always stood in the way, and all I could manage was to get my...

Keep Reading

I’m Leaning into Kintsugi Parenting

In: Motherhood
Mom hugs little girl with pigtails

My 5-year-old daughter whimpers in the darkness. “I am putting the baby down,” I whisper, the rocking chair creaking. “You need to go with Dad.” Even in the dark, I can make out the stubborn, I’m-not-going-anywhere look. Call it defiance. Call it deep attachment to me. All I know is that to be so openly disobeyed makes me run a gauntlet of emotions. First, I feel irked that she’ll wake up the baby, but that’s the surface-level stuff. What really gets to me is the fear—am I doing a bad job because my kid won’t readily “obey”? Have I failed...

Keep Reading

A C-Section Mom Simply Needs You to Hear Her Story

In: Baby, Motherhood
Newborn baby crying in doctor's hands

As an expecting mother, I was told all about the sleepless nights. People made sure to give their opinion on whether I should bottle feed, breastfeed, or exclusively pump. I was told which swaddle to buy, which sound machine worked best, and when to introduce a pacifier. They told me about sleep training but that it really didn’t matter because I wouldn’t get any sleep anyway. Whenever I would mention how scared I was to give birth, I’d always get the same response: oh. honey, don’t worry, your body will know what to do. I remember listening to calming meditations...

Keep Reading

Feed Them—and Other Ways To Help NICU Parents

In: Baby, Motherhood
Parents holding hands of premature baby in NICU

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about our reality as NICU parents to a healthy, brilliant NICU graduate. Our child was born very prematurely and spent weeks in the NICU so he could grow and stabilize. My first experience as a mother of a baby was shattered in so many ways. Trauma still lingers, but I am so grateful for all I have learned from our time beside our little baby in his isolette bed. One thing I learned was that some people who really want to help support NICU parents really don’t know how they can. Here are some...

Keep Reading

Life’s Most Precious Treasures are the People I Get To Love

In: Motherhood
Family relaxing together on a bed at home

Life is a whirlwind. The days blur into weeks, and the weeks into years, leaving us wondering where the time has gone. In the blink of an eye, my oldest boys, once tiny tots, have now reached the ripe age of 10. With eight more years until they venture off to college, I find myself acutely aware of the fleeting nature of their childhood. As a mom juggling multiple roles—household manager, PTO president, bookkeeper, and the support and sales backbone of my husband’s real estate business—life often feels like a relentless marathon. In the midst of this whirlwind, I have...

Keep Reading

I Didn’t Know It Was Postpartum Anxiety

In: Motherhood
Tired woman with baby sleeping in foreground

I was always warned about postpartum depression. I was prepped by my midwife. I had the pamphlets. I was ready. Just in case. But what no one ever prepped me for was postpartum anxiety. When my second was a few months old, I started noticing I was feeling a little more, well, tight. Nervous. Stressed. And then some irrational thoughts started taking over. Every time I heard a train I would begin to obsess over whether it would crash. I would hear a siren and think of all the ways my children could be hurt. The idea of someone coming...

Keep Reading