So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

They say you will just know.

Your family will feel complete and you will be confident in your decision to not have any more kids.

But what happens if you don’t “just know”?

What happens if this feeling of confidence eludes you? What if you are mostly content in your present circumstances, but you wonder if in five, 10, or 20 years you will regret not adding another member to your family while you still had the chance?

What if the rational side of your brain tells you it makes total sense not to add another child to your family—because most days it feels like you have more than you can handle with the kids you have already been blessed with. Because you don’t have any more room in your already messy house. Because you have already sold all your baby items. Because having a newborn would completely change everything, and quite honestly, maybe you can’t even afford to add another family member. Yet, you still can’t completely let go of the idea.

What if your body reminds you on a daily basis it isn’t up for handling another hard pregnancy—because months upon months of non-stop nausea were really hard on you physically and mentally. Because you aren’t as young as you once were, and you aren’t sure if you can survive another newborn phase of waking up every two to three hours for months on end. Plus, you have other health issues you are trying to work through. Yet, you still don’t feel ready to say never again.

You know how lucky you are to be able to have experienced this miracle at all—watching those two pink lines form after you have prayed so long for their existence. Seeing your baby’s heartbeat for the first time. The ultrasound photos of 10 tiny fingers and 10 perfect toes. Hearing the first cry in the delivery room, and having your soul changed forever. Witnessing that first smile and those first baby giggles. Watching a baby learn to roll over, sit-up, crawl, toddle, walk, and then run. So many firsts . . .

What if your heart is not sure if it’s ready to never experience those firsts again?

What if your partner “knows” and adamantly says he doesn’t want to have any more children, but you ache every time you see a baby?

You are left to wonder—do other mamas feel this way?

Do they question their decision because they have never felt a clear sense of just knowing and other mamas seem to have it all figured out?

Do they cry when their partners talk about wanting vasectomies because that feels like slamming a door on what could have been, instead of gently closing it?

Do they ever feel like they are being ungrateful because their hearts are so full already with the children they have and shouldn’t that be enough?

Do they mourn as they say goodbye to this sacred stage of motherhood?

Maybe you are in the midst of not knowing, of questioning, of doubting, of uncertainty, or of mourning.

It’s a hard place to be. I know, because I am there, too.

Maybe you and I were never meant to “just know”. Maybe we were meant to learn to trust.

Trust that whatever our family looks like now, or whatever it might look like in the future is exactly how it was supposed to be.

Trust that even if it feels like we don’t have the answer, God has had it all along.

You may also like: 

You Are My Last, Sweet Baby

She Made Our Family Complete

What if We Regret Having Another Baby?

Want more stories of love, family, and faith from the heart of every home, delivered straight to you? Sign up here!

Her View From Home

Millions of mothers connected by love, friendship, family and faith. Join our growing community. 1,000+ writers strong. We pay too!   Find more information on how you can become a writer on Her View From Home at

I Would Relive Every Moment of Sorrow Just To Hold You

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mother holding infant, black-and-white photo

As I sat there rocking my child to sleep, I caught my mind wandering to the past. Not my recent past but my before . . . Before my son was born. Before my stressful pregnancy. Before my positive pregnancy test. Before . . . when I was praying every day for a miracle—six years back. Infertility is a messy journey that few (and many at the same time) are chosen to take. It’s lonely and heartbreaking and dark and will make you hate yourself at times. You feel helplessness and anger and despair. RELATED: This is Infertility Your relationships...

Keep Reading

When a Rainbow Baby Meets Mama

In: Baby, Loss, Motherhood
newborn baby on mother's chest

This week, one year ago, was one of the most difficult weeks of my life. Fast forward to exactly one year later, and here I am cuddling you, my sweet boy. I never truly understood what “rainbow baby” was all about, but I get it now. Sure, I knew what it meant and what it represented. I had read the articles and heard the stories. I had seen the meaningful images and understood the definition. But I never truly and deeply knew what happens when a rainbow baby meets their mama . . . until you. When a rainbow baby...

Keep Reading

How Do You Know it’s Really the Last Baby?

In: Baby, Motherhood
Selfie of pregnant woman standing next to child, color photo

I love being pregnant. I love everything about it. I am, however, one of the lucky ones who has been blessed with stress-free pregnancies. I get the typical morning sickness in the first trimester and the utter exhaustion in the third trimester, but other than that, it’s just pure enjoyment. I know not everyone has that experience, some have horrific pregnancies, but for me they have all been relatively easy. Trust me, I do know how fortunate I am. I’m currently pregnant with my fourth child. The little man is due this summer. From the very beginning when I first...

Keep Reading

It’s Hard on a Mother’s Heart To Watch Her Last Baby Grow Up

In: Baby, Motherhood
Child walking away in grass

My youngest son turned two a few months ago and still has a binky. He actually calls it his “mimi,” and he loves it so much. This morning I  looked at him with a mimi in his mouth and a mimi in his hand before I walked him into daycare and realized something. I am not ready to let go of the baby stage.  Getting rid of the binky would be the last step of the baby stage. He is already in a big boy bed. He doesn’t want to sit in a high chair for meals. He tries to...

Keep Reading

Some Babies Are Held Only in a Mother’s Heart

In: Baby, Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Ultrasound of baby

“Whatever may come and whatever may pass, we have faith that our God will bring us to it and through it.” That’s what I wrote in a post after we announced our third pregnancy. It was the first pregnancy we went public with, but it was the third time we had two positive lines on a pregnancy test. You see, we had miscarriage after miscarriage after miscarriage. We went from surprised optimism to guarded yearning and finally stolen joy. The first baby was nothing more than a what-if before that test. It was a surprise to two people who loved...

Keep Reading

Because There Were Two

In: Baby, Motherhood
Sonogram image of two babies, black-and-white photo

Because there were two, there were gasps and tears and disbelief. There were spreadsheets developed before you even got home from the initial ultrasound appointment and fears and relentless morning sickness and books to read and endless worries and what-ifs. There were extra ultrasounds and extra fears, extra heartburn and floor plans for extra bedrooms, extra back pain and extra cribs, extra strollers and extra car seats. Because there were two, you will always be outnumbered. There are 20 fingers and 20 toes, too much laundry, and never enough hours. There were missing socks and missing pacifiers, dirty bottles and...

Keep Reading

Finding Wonder in the Waiting of Secondary Infertility

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mother holding toddler son, color photo

Secondary infertility is hard. It’s an all-encompassing phenomenon that hyper focuses your brain on a single goal: another baby. The perplexity of secondary infertility is that you’ve done this before. You fertilized an embryo, carried the growing child within your womb, and delivered your bundle. It was the most challenging and yet seemingly effortless event of your life. Looking back, you wonder how you achieved such an amazing feat without assistance. Now, with Clearblue ovulation tests pouring from your pantry, period trackers abounding, basal body flow charts, and the pineapple (so much pineapple) you are unable to do the one...

Keep Reading

What I Wish Someone Would’ve Told Me About Gender Disappointment

In: Baby, Motherhood
Pregnant couple holding boy or girl sign

I was in the corner of my closet hiding behind my wedding dress and every formal I’ve ever owned. It was dark, stuffy, and felt like a good place to hide. I’d just found out I was having a boy, and I was devastated in ways I didn’t think possible and was trying to hide what I was feeling from the world around me.  What kind of mother isn’t completely enamored with her baby-to-be? Did this make me a monster? I should have been happy. After all, I was having a healthy baby. That’s like winning the lottery. Instead, I...

Keep Reading

The Conversation We’re Forgetting To Have About Birth

In: Baby, Marriage, Motherhood
Woman having a baby man holding her hand

My husband lay sleeping, his head resting on a fluffy, down-stuffed pillow in our hotel room. His bag was packed neatly, ESPN was playing quietly in the background, and he had unopened snacks at his disposal on the end table. Our hotel phone rang, and my husband groggily answered, ”Yes? Oh, sorry. Yeah, we’ll keep it down. Sorry.” He hung up and found me miserable and shaky in the shower, the thin shower curtain clinging to my legs.  “Steph, we got a noise complaint. You have to keep it down!” he whispered. This is not how I expected labor to...

Keep Reading

Bathtime Washes Away the Struggles of the Day

In: Baby, Motherhood, Toddler

It’s 7 p.m., which means bathtime at our house. I close the drain and fill the tub with warm water. I pump Johnson’s baby soap—the water and soap swirl together and form bubbles. The bubbles dance on top of the water, just waiting to cleanse my baby boy. I toss in your foam alphabet letters, Mr. Shark, and Mr. Penguin.  I place you in the bath and lather baby soap in my hands and give you a soapy mohawk. You are barely one and still my baby, but your four fat teeth make you look older. You chew on the...

Keep Reading

5 Secrets to the

BEST Summer Ever!


Creating simple summer memories

with your kids that will  last a lifetime

Mother Holding Baby

5 Secrets

for New Moms


Encouragement for the newborn stage