Faith is an important characteristic for every follower of Jesus, but I’m beginning to think we have a misconception about it what it means to have faith. 

The death of my son just over two months ago got me thinking about what makes someone to have great faith or not. We read of those with great faith in Hebrews 11 and also in the Gospels as well as Acts. I’ve been around people who have preached about needing this great faith that can move mountains and how without it, you cannot live out life the way Jesus wants you to. Great faith in Jesus’ character, salvation, and presence in our lives—I agree with.

But should I feel guilty if I am in a season where getting through the next day or hour is taking all the faith I have?

At certain points in my life, I felt that I had a good amount of faith, to the point of myself and my church praying over my son and his issue of blood at the time was healed. But where I am at right now, all the faith I have is my knowledge there’s a hope for a better tomorrow, even if I cannot see an end to the storm I’m walking through today.

Does this mean my faith is any less than what it was when I prayed over my son? I don’t believe so. I’m finding myself pondering on this question: is faith flexible? The Bible states that everyone is given a measure of faith (Romans 12:3), so wouldn’t that faith have the ability to size up or down depending on the circumstances that person finds himself in? I remember feeling guilty when those same people asked to come and pray for my son’s healing while he was on his deathbed. My faith at that time was in the fact that my precious boy was going to be free from his illness and with Jesus. When the text messages came flooding in, I began to feel as if my measure of faith wasn’t good enough, and maybe, that I was even wrong in what I felt. 

In Matthew 17, Jesus tells the disciples, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Have you ever tried finding a mustard seed in a bag filled with other seeds? It’s not an easy task to carry out. It seems so small and pointless, what could God have seen in that? After looking over this Scripture as well as Ecclesiastes 3:1-11, also known as “there is a season for” Scripture, the two together help to make sense of the guilt and condemnation weighing heavy on my heart. 

We often look for the big miracles, signs, and wonders when we think about faith. But we forget—sometimes faith is the promise of joy, even in the midst of despair.

It may be in the form of peace, even when the world around us is caving in. Or even in the form of “Tomorrow will be better,” even when today feels like the end, the place at which I find myself now. It’s not that you are lacking faith in the impossible in these scenarios; it is that your faith is in what your life and circumstance have set as impossible.

Yes, faith can move mountains, heal the sick, and bring the dead to life. But it is also having the courage to continue in the season the Lord has placed you in. Whether in prosperity or in mourning, knowing that it is just that—a season—and that life will move forward once again.

Continuing on the road you’ve been placed in faith, even if that is a day-to-day struggle, is an inspirational journey. It is the faith that was placed in you by Him that gets us to where we need to be. And to follow in that—no signs or wonders required—is, I believe, the greatest faith of all.

Deborah Ackerman

I am a mother of three and passionate follower of Jesus Christ.  My oldest son, Luke, passed away from GM1 Gangliosidosis Type 2 Aug.19th, 2018.  My youngest child, Isaiah, is also affected by this same disease.  I write about my son's experience with this disease and how the Lord has blessed our lives through the struggle.