I feel trapped — stuck with no understanding of how to get out. I am lost – lost in my own thoughts and my own feelings. How to describe this outlook? For once I am at a loss of words. These words themselves seem too light. These words lose true meaning once they are written. The days carry on but these emotions, these deep low feelings stay. 

This is my reality today. This is my view today.

I am a firm believer that a shift in perspective or a change of one’s mindset can alter the entire circumstance or situation one is in. I honestly do believe a lot of ‘bad’ days are all about perspective and by taking the time to realize this and come to an understanding of it we can turn those ‘bad’ days into truly blessed and good days. It is fundamentally about coming to know yourself in certain situations, understand why your mindset is a specific way, and learn how you can come to see and feel the blessings. 

However, I do also believe there are days when you simply cannot change your mindset, as much as you try. Perhaps it is a deep sadness that is indescribable and unexplainable. Possibly this low feeling is overpowering of everything else. It is overwhelming your mind, heart, and soul, with no room for even a thought of change.

What then?

Those days are extremely and entirely harsh. Those days will be a struggle to get through each hour…each minute…each second. Those days bring a heavy weight and a dark cloud. Those days can last for weeks, months, and sometimes years.

Yet, those days are not the end. There IS hope, even amidst those days of severe sadness. Today and many days I don’t feel it. Yet, I know it. I know it within the deep places of my soul. I know it strongly and firmly. 

That hope might not change your entire day and for a while, you will most likely stay stuck in those overwhelming emotions. But it is a hope that can help you breathe, a hope that can bring you through. It is a hope that will be like a small flame at the end of the day. It is there. And while some days it feels like it might go out altogether, it is always flickering ever so lightly. 

So in those days – grab onto it. Don’t let it go. Don’t lose sight. While your mindset might not be there and your heart may be deep in a dark place — rely on what you know. Rely on the light you can still see. 

Today I hold onto this light – This light of joy and this light of life. It is all I know amidst the dark. It is all that I can hold on to. 


Esther Vandersluis

Esther is a Canadian writing from Hamilton, Ontario, living in a sea of pink as a girl mom to three. Find her on Facebook (www.facebook.com/beautifulalarm) where you will find writing for stay-at-home moms, moms with littles, sleep-deprived moms, moms feeding babies, and babies with failure to thrive, all under the umbrella of faith in Jesus Christ.