When your best friend lives 1000 miles away, it sucks. You miss her all the time, and it’s basically like dating long distance. You wish she were just a few minutes away so you could bring her coffee and sit on the couch for hours, not doing anything. It’s torturous making new, close friends because you feel loyal to her, and you know nothing will come as close to her place in your heart. Sometimes you tear up when you leave a get together because she wasn’t there and you’re so exhausted from meeting new people. You try to text a lot, call or FaceTime… but it’s not the same. Visits are few and far between, expensive and really tricky with families and schedules.

If you’re in the same predicament, I’d love to encourage you with some practical tips to stay connected to your BFF. Technology has made long-distanced-best-friending a wee bit easier. Aren’t you thankful we don’t live 100 years ago where we would have had to actually use ink and paper, then patiently wait to go into town and send out our letter, only to again have to wait weeks or months until they received it… and weeks and months more to get anything back?! That would be near impossible for my fickle heart to withstand.

So here you go:

1. Leave long voice mails, as if you were talking to your bestie. Let them know what’s going on in your life, how your husband has made you laugh today, which kid is driving you nuts. You both know that you usually won’t have the same 5, 10, 30 minutes to spare on the phone that day; so just let her listen when she can!

2. Use the app, Marco Polo. This is a combination of face time and voicemail. You talk to the screen and then send it to your BFF. She will listen when she has time, and then respond. I like it better than voice mails, because I can see their expression and feel like I’m there. But some may not, because their “hot-messness” is on a new high that day and they don’t want anyone to see that!

3. If you have a group of besties, start a group email. That way, everyone is in the loop and can respond as they want or can. It is a better option than a group text, because who wants to hear all that dinging all day long! Also, visually it’s easier to see than small text windows.

4. If you like the quick texting idea, but don’t want 1425 alerts each day, try the Group Me app. It’s basically like your own private chat room for all the juicy details of what your friends are going through.

5. If you have a bestie with kids, how much better to love on her than love on her kids?? Keep track of their birthdays and buy them gifts on Amazon. Super simple and a great way to care for her. Also, bonus points for being the coolest Auntie they have.

6. Find silly cards and send them regularly. You know those cards you pick up and laugh at, but most people would roll their eyes or gasp at? Buy those. The borderline inappropriate ones that your BFF will crack up over. Think about the last time you got a card in the mail for no reason? How special and cared for did that make you feel?

7. Create or continue traditions. If you’ve always exchanged ornaments for Christmas, still do that! Or an annual girls’ weekend, a book exchange, a secret Santa. You have to put in a bit more effort, but you can keep those things going from a distance.

8. Zoom calls. This is a great way to get a few of your besties on a facetime-like call. You can all see each other and chat for free (up to 40 minutes). I love this option if you want to plan your girls’ weekend or talk about the Christmas gift exchange.

Long distance is tricky, but it can be done. Don’t let a few thousand miles affect this once in a lifetime friendship. We all know how difficult it is to find your soul sister—make it work.

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Hannah Carpenter

I am simply a crazy and stressed homeschool mom living in Ohio. I have five amazing kids and one incredible husband who still loves me after 15 years. Most importantly, I am a daughter of the King who is trying to honor Him everyday through my parenting, teaching, art and writing.

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