Hey, soft-hearted friends out there. Empaths? Sensitive folks?

This personality trait that is my greatest asset can also be my biggest curse. Here it is: I genuinely see the best in everyone—almost all the time. Great, right? Sometimes. Sometimes not so much for me though. Here’s the thing if you, like me, are someone who sees the good in people, what happens when they are awful to you?

It doesn’t happen a lot. In fact, seeing the best in people has been one of the greatest gifts of my life. I think it helps me be a better mom, it helped me be a caring teacher. It makes me a loyal friend, an open-minded person. I am proud of all these things. I don’t want to lose the good that comes with seeing the good.

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However, when we lean toward seeing the good in everyone, if someone treats us badly, we often default to “it’s me.”

Have a boss that’s a real jerk . . . if I just work harder—do better, he will come around. Nope.

A friend lets you down in a major way . . . I must have done something wrong. Nope.

A random person doesn’t like you . . .  what can I do to fix this? Nothing.

Some in-law doesn’t get you . . . I’ll be better, I’ll make them see me. No.

A parent doesn’t celebrate you . . . I must not be worth it.

It’s not you. As a deeply caring person, it’s so hard to truly accept that there is good and bad in everyone, but at the end of the day, some people simply aren’t safe places for those of us with tender hearts. That doesn’t make you weak. That doesn’t make you wrong. Some people can’t receive the kind of deep love and caring we folks offer. And that’s okay.

RELATED: Being Sensitive is My Superpower

I once took a chance and opened up to someone about not feeling welcome in a certain situation, I was nervous to say it. My voice was shaking as I took that chance. The greatest words I was met with were simply, “It’s not you.” Words I needed to hear for years, somehow validated for me that I was okay. It shouldn’t take someone else telling us this, but sometimes it just does.

From me to you—from one deeply caring person to another—if you are reading along,  it’s not you. I’m rooting for you!