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Do you see me as I rush around the stores shopping for the perfect gift for my husband and babies, and everyone else on the list?

Do you see me as I attempt to wrap the gifts to go under the tree while the children step all over the neatly folded laundry and leave the rest of the house in disarray? I’m just trying to take the time needed to complete this one simple task.

Do you see me as I intensely study the calendar, writing, changing, figuring out dates, and nervously anticipating the many events to take place this December? Some with joy and some with dread. Wondering what to cook, who to invite, how much it will cost.

RELATED: Moms Carry the Mental Load of Christmastime

Do you see me as I joyfully watch my children decorate the tree, go sledding, sing songs, and anticipate Christmas Day with childlike wonder? Though that brings my heart a joy I can hardly describe, I carry around the pain of knowing one of ours is not here. I carry it around this season, all while trying to make it beautiful for the others. And so, sometimes I sit and cry, then with a prayer and a smile, I lift my head and carry on.

Do you see me? Do you see me this holiday season? Do you see all I do is for my children? To create memories that they will cherish and carry with them forever. So they can always taste and smell the cinnamon buns and hot chocolate. So they can remember the feeling of family and comfort and all the incredibly beautiful, magical things this season brings. That it may be a season of peace and reflection on the things and the One that truly matters.

RELATED: Move a Little Closer to Jesus This Christmas

I know regardless of however unseen I feel, there is One who does see me and who will always see me. The One who holds the world in his hands, and who holds mothers everywhere. The One who came as a babe in a manger. So to Him, I will go—in this season and all seasons. He is my strength, my comfort, and my peace.

To everyone who sees a mother this holiday season please give her a special hug and encouragement, because there isn’t one I know who does not need it.

Originally published on the author’s Facebook page

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Kristen Murphy

My name is Kristen Murphy.  My husband and I reside in beautiful Alberta, Canada in a small town.  We have three beautiful children; Ryan, Sarah and Caleb.  On October 4, 2019 our daughter Sarah went to be with Jesus.  My hearts joy is to write about what that has all entailed and to be able to help others walking through loss.

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