I know you feel like your voice doesn’t matter; like your words are just vapor in the congested wind. They leave your mouth only to be quickly hushed by an impatient toddler’s screams or a sassy teen’s sarcastic remark. Speak anyway. One day those spunky kids will catch themselves saying the very thing you didn’t think they even heard. You both will be blown away by how surreal and unbelievable life can really be.
I know you feel like your day begins with diapers and ends with dishes that are relentless in their demand for your attention. One moment runs too wild for you to really breathe it in until the next moment arrives looking remarkably the same as the first. This vicious cycle will only last for so long. Enjoy it. The days are coming when you will long for a diapered baby to lay on your chest or a messy kindergartener to dirty five separate cups at breakfast.
I know you feel like you’ll never get your youthful glow back. Somehow, somewhere, in the middle of this mommy hood thing, your radiance up and left you high and dry. The mirror reveals tired eyes and deep creases where once flawless beauty dwelled. Move on. Accept your one-of-a-kind, imperfect glow. Longing for the face of an eighteen year old will only make you bitter. The harsh reality is, no matter how hard you try, you can’t be young again. Really, your best days are right in front of you. Your beauty is not dependent on your age.
I know you feel like you’ll never get it right; like the odds are stacked against you because of where you came from or what you’ve had to endure in life. Each new day brings with it the fear of hurting your child the way you were hurt. Be brave. No one can love your kids the way you do. If you let fear rule you, you’ll live your whole life hiding in the dark instead of allowing the light to guide you into wide open fields of grace. Once you’ve tasted freedom, there’s no going back to the shadows.
You can do this, Mama.
You can use your unique voice to impart lasting words of wisdom to your little ones. You can laugh out loud in the middle of folding laundry and cry tears of gratitude as you stumble over piles of Legos. You can see your reflection as a timeless reminder that you tirelessly fought to be your own kind of beautiful, the kind that only you can be. You can boldly love those babes with fierce abandon; with a certainty that calms every fear inside of their hearts.
You are a mom. That, in and of itself, is pretty darn awesome. Don’t ever forget the amazing things you’re capable of. If you do, look into the wide eyes of the ones who call your name fifty times a day. I promise, the truth of your strength will shine back at you in the warmth of their playful grin.