I have recently been in a tender conversation about my parenting techniques. Being criticized and critiqued by others on how I choose to raise my children is quite unsettling and outright hurtful. I am only 3 years into this parenting gig, and believe me, I am still learning along with the rest of you! Being a parent is one of the hardest things I have ever done and I think, like all other moms, there is a never ending lack of self confidence when raising children. There is always something I could be doing better or different, but honestly most days, I am just trying to make it through the day. What works for one person may not work for me so in my opinion it is harmful to tell any other parent what they are doing is downright wrong.
Here are some ideas I have learned since recently being scolded in the parenting department.
1. AH! Keeping my emotions in check is not an easy thing for me, but I know it is something I need to do in events of this type. I am a pretty protective mama bear when anyone is saying something negative about my child. However, lashing out at others for judging my parenting will not benefit the situation. A better way to handle it is to let the person know in the future I will ask for her advice if I want it.
2. I cannot say that all of my parenting techniques come from the nerdy counselor research I do, but I generally follow the statistics when I am trying to figure out how to best deal with my children’s behavior. Another good idea when battling another’s opinion on how to raise one’s children is to back it up with assessment from an expert. Most people will respect the fact that a trained professional endorses your style of child rearing.
3. As bad as I felt and as much as it hurt to hear someone telling me how I parent is wrong, I ultimately know what is best for my babies. I have to let go of others’ judgments and know what I am doing works for my kids, even if others cannot see it from their perspective. I also have to remember if I took into account every person that has an opinion on the way I bring up my youngsters, I would be spinning in circles, not knowing which direction to go. There comes a time when I have to draw the line and do what works for my young ones, even if others do not agree. I have to stick up for the way I care for my babies when I know it is working for my family, and I also have to remember to not get discouraged when others accuse me of not raising my children effectively. After all, my husband and I are the only ones who can decide what is the best parenting techniques for our kids anyway.
In conclusion, unless you see my little ones harming someone or being harmed, please keep your comments to yourself! Otherwise, rest assured I am handling the situation to the best of my ability.