As a mother of four precious little men, I just witnessed something that often puts me in instant inward RAGE. I feel my blood pressure climbing when I hear what I’m about to share. I try to have grace for these types of scenarios because I am hoping it is out of sheer ignorance someone would say these words.

When I was little, my grandpa taught me the difference between stupidity and ignorance. Stupid is usually a choice of wrongdoing, and there’s little hope for stupid. But ignorance isn’t the person’s fault. They simply just haven’t learned. I am going to give the person the benefit of the doubt here. 

I was sitting in the OB/GYN office for my annual breast exam. (Ladies, make sure you are doing thatI used to work here, and I’ve seen so much that could have been prevented even in women at my young age! It’s so very important!) A couple behind me had their newborn baby girl in her pretty, pink car seat and a toddler running around just being a toddler. This lady beside them said, “Oh, wow, you have two! Have you lost your mind?” The girl awkwardly laughed, not knowing what to say. 

To the sweet girlno you haven’t lost your mind.

I know it makes you feel awkward. I know people make you feel “bad” for having more than one child. Please don’t let someone else’s ignorance affect your mission.

Your mission in life is to raise those princesses to be strong women of character and dignity. 

You were made for motherhood. You were made for this very short season that is going to zoom by. Before you know it, they will be off to school. 

You will remember what she said to you. But please don’t let it sting. Don’t even allow it to.  

Realize that this lady doesn’t have a clue how amazing motherhood REALLY is. She must only see the hard things. 

And, yes, she’s right. It IS hard! But anything that is valuable is usually hard. 

Yes, the nights are long

Yes, the days seem endless. 

The tantrums are exhausting. 

Sickness can be so inconvenient. 

Your hours of sleep are few. 

Your meals are often shared. 

Your drink is usually stolen. 

Your coffee is always cold and needs to be reheated several times in the morning. 

Yes, you need a break, my dear. 

But what this lady may not see is the prayer you prayed to even have a child. 

She may not know the longing in your heart for her to have a little sister.

She may not know that when you were just a little girl, you were playing with your dolls and dreaming of being a mommy someday. 

She may not know the laughter and tickle time y’all have.  

She doesn’t know the number of times you braid your toddler’s hair and play tea time together. 

She may not have been a mother and heard the sweet I love you Mommys from a sleepy girl’s voice before drifting off to sleep.  

I know it hurt you what she said. I could see it in your eyes and hear it in your laugh. I’ve been you many times. I have four boys. They are wild, outgoing, handsome, sometimes disobedient, and they eat about 20 times a day! I’ve been the mom in Target who has had opinions hurled at me like a bowling ball headed for the strike!

It hurt me. But we have to look beyond the hurt and the rage and give them the benefit of the doubt. It’s better that way. Forgive her and show off those blessings. 

So don’t be ashamed sweet girl. 

You are a beautiful mother. 

Originally published on the author’s Facebook page

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Amber Adcock

Hello! I’m Amber Adcock. A writer, aspiring author, wife to my best friend, and mama to four amazing boys! I want to encourage women who are in the trenches of motherhood and help those who especially have had childhood trauma to heal from it.