I dreamt of you tonight. The night we listed our house. The night it became real we were closing this chapter and opening the next. The house you were brought home to, and the walls within the home in which memories were made with you.
I dreamt of you, a young girl—beautiful and kind. There was a house with lots of rooms. You were playing with your brothers. You knew them, and you loved them. You added a different dynamic, a gentle spirit amidst the wild.
If I could describe my mother heart in that moment, it would be pure joy and completeness. I held you and told you I loved you. You said it back, and I wept tears of a fullness I can’t explain.
I realized I told you I loved you a hundred times over while you graced this earth, but I never got the chance to hear it back. Heaven holds the promise that I will. Some may think it naïve to hold onto the hope that Heaven brings through Christ, but to me, it makes me confident that this isn’t just a dream. It’s not yet, and it’s not meant to be yet . . . but it is one day.
The days after my daughter passed made me reflect a lot on the cross. The cross is the bridge. I believe in fullness that babies and children are innocent in their unknowing, but as we age we have an increasing awareness of our morality and how we fall short—over and over. I could never make it to Heaven without a redeemer. Christ is my redeemer, my shepherd. In my filth, He washes me clean.
I understood that before Sarah’s death, but it was limited. I understand it in more fullness now. Because of the cross, not only do I get to be with my daughter and loved ones, but I get to live out eternity with my Savior and Creator. That is the ultimate gift.
That dream . . . it’s not just a dream. It’s a hope and a reality that I will forever hold in my heart because of the cross. No matter how hard the present sufferings feel, they don’t compare to the hope that is to come, and God can use all suffering for good and for His glory. You can still have hope, love, peace, and joy in the midst of it, knowing that one day it will be made complete in His fullness.
“My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?” (John 14: 2)
by Shelby Skiles 
