During a rough time for our family, I had a dream that really disturbed me, in which I cut my index finger very deep. The finger was bleeding and the muscle beneath the skin was visible. (I said it was a disturbing dream!) Instead of getting help, I raised my hand above my head, trying to stop the bleeding I guess, and calmly began talking to a friend sitting next to me about something unrelated, ignoring the wound that clearly needed attention.
I woke up quickly after this part of my dream and kept checking the index finger “cut” in my dream to see if it was intact. I was disturbed by this dream and wondered what caused it. What had I eaten or watched before going to bed? I am a true crime connoisseur, so that might have been the issue. But then a voice in my head whispered, “Your dream is what you are doing in your life right now. You are ignoring the hurt in your life and acting like everything is fine.”
During this tough time in our family, we hadn’t opened up to anyone about it. It was a very private matter, and we acted like everything was fine in public, when in reality, we were hurting. After that dream, I knew we needed to tell someone the truth. I thought about who would keep what we were going through to themselves, while also being sensitive to the privacy we needed.
We found the perfect couple to share our pain with—friends who would listen and pray for us as we walked through this journey. After we spoke to them honestly, they were shocked and heartbroken for us. A wave of relief washed over me after opening up to them. I hadn’t realized how much I needed to talk to someone about our situation. They couldn’t fix our problem, and didn’t pretend they could, but we didn’t feel alone anymore. And when we’re around these friends, we can take off the armor we usually wear and just be our hurting selves.
We are still in the valley of our pain and shame. But now we have people in our corner rooting for us. In the middle of a fight, it’s good to know we aren’t alone. No one should feel alone, and no one should think what they are going through is so bad they can’t tell anyone. Unfortunately, our minds can insist we are alone and no one can help. But that’s a lie—a lie I believed for a while. If you are living in that lie right now, please know it isn’t true. There is someone in your life who would love to come alongside you, to listen to your story, and to help you with the pain you’re hiding. Reach out to that someone so you can start healing, like I have.