The Sweetest Mother's Day Gift!

Dear little blue-eyed love of my life

Our eyes locked at 5:59 a.m. just over three years ago. Your first high-pitched, confused cry brought tears to your dad’s and my eyes. It was the most beautiful sound we had ever heard. That was the last time a cry from you made us feel happy.

It hasn’t started yet, but it will. Soon other kids won’t want to play with you, will take your things, will say mean things. You may not be included on the playground or in certain groups. You will cry that confused cry again and wonder why they don’t like you. I won’t have a good answer so Mommy will cry, too.

One day a girl you love won’t feel the same anymore and she will point out a flaw of yours to make her point. She will break your heart and those blue eyes will fill with tears. You will question the existence of love and ask me why it has to hurt so much. I won’t have a good answer so Mommy will cry, too.

One day you’ll will drop the football or miss a free throw and the crowd will make you feel worthless. You will wonder how a split-second reaction can let you down so much. You will want to quit and ask me how something so fun can make you feel so horrible. I won’t have a good answer so Mommy will cry, too.

One day you will get sick or hurt and the pain may bring you to tears. You will wonder how our bodies can betray us and make us feel so awful at times. I won’t have a good answer so Mommy will cry, too.

One day I will be gone. If I have done my job as a parent, you will cry then. Death is bittersweet because crying and missing someone means you had good memories of them. I want us to have those memories.

But Mommy is here to tell you that the tears haven’t and won’t all be bad. God willing, one day you will have a screaming, brand-new baby and his or her first cry will bring tears to your eyes, too. Watching your child being born will remind you there is still good and innocence in the world.

One day you will watch that baby walk through the door of a kindergarten classroom and not look back and you will cry tears of pride. Watching that will remind you there is a purpose for you in this life.

Hopefully you will find the love of your life in a partner and watching her succeed brings tears to your eyes. Watching your love grow through sacrifices and making memories together will remind you love still can exist. 

Looking around a crowded room filled with loved ones celebrating an accomplishment of yours can make you cry, too. Maybe it’s your graduation, wedding, retirement from a job you have put your all into. Watching this will remind you there is a whole community of people who love and support you.

Sometimes the beauty of the world can be so exquisite that just the fact of being alive can make you cry. Remembering that life is so painfully short and that every second is a gift is enough.

So, my son, there will be many times we both cry, and maybe, just maybe, we will realize that tears aren’t always such a bad thing.

Love,
Mommy

Originally published on the author’s blog

You might also like:

My Heart Was Waiting For A Son

Mothering Boys is a Work of the Heart

Want more stories of love, family, and faith from the heart of every home, delivered straight to you? Sign up here! 

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Kelly Houseman

Kelly Houseman is a mental health counselor who maintains a private practice in Michigan. She is the mom of a toddler son and a brand-new baby girl. You can follow her career and family adventures on her blog Kelly's Reality or on Instagram.com @KellysReality.

Dear Zachary, The World Is Yours…And So Am I

In: Child, Motherhood
Little boy running in field

Dear Zachary, Ever since you were born, your dad and I have taken every precaution to keep you safe. We bought the review mirrors so we could see you in the car. We had the deluxe baby monitor. There were more ER trips than I ever expected to ease your mama’s worries that your run-of-the-mill illnesses might be something other than ordinary. You always had to wear your baby Crocs in “sport mode” so they couldn’t fall off your feet as you toddled around. We covered every single outlet in the house, even the ones you had no hope of...

Keep Reading

It’s Your First Day of Preschool

In: Child, Motherhood
Photo of child's backpack

My dearest son, It’s your first day of preschool. Almost four years ago, I didn’t want to think about this day. I wish I could get out of the emotions I’m feeling, but it’s something nobody prepares you for. I wasn’t ready, but watching you be ready made me ready. In the way you sing your ABCs and 123s, confidently counting to 20. The way you started sharing your toys with your little sissy and teaching her colors. The way you improved so much each soccer practice and game. And the way you have asked to play again. The way...

Keep Reading

I’m Proud to Say “That Child” Is My Child

In: Child, Motherhood
Child running in field with jacket and hat on

When a new parent brings home a baby, they realize that exhaustion follows closely behind. We expect sleepless nights and diaper changes, tiny fingers clutching at ours in need. We know we’ll be needed fully and completely, and we assume that as our child grows, that need will change shape but gradually ease. We assume that, in time, we’ll find balance again. But sometimes, that balance never comes. My child is that child. The neurobiologically complex one with an IEP, an FBA, and a safety plan at school. The one who has been in and out of various therapies for...

Keep Reading

My Wild Child Teaches Me How to Be Free

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
Little boy with toy plane smiling outside

Have you ever heard the phrase “wild child”? What comes to your mind? For me, I tend to picture a young kid running around, who just won’t sit still. Their parents always look so tired. Bless their hearts. Whenever I saw a family with a sweet, little wild child, I gave the parents an encouraging, empathetic smile, just thankful it wasn’t me. Until it was, and I was the one receiving those smiles. Bless my heart. I have a wild child. I can’t deny it, and I certainly can’t hide it. It’s just a plain and simple fact that is...

Keep Reading

I’m Holding Tight to Nine

In: Child, Motherhood, Tween
Young girl standing in ocean waves, color photo

Nine is a tenuous age–she walks a tightrope between the play of a child and the poise of a teen. I see glimpses of the baby she used to be more and more rarely, mostly while she is sleeping. The roundness comes back to her cheeks and the silken hair tangles softly around her face. When awake, she is in constant movement. Dance, gymnastics, and friends take up most of her time. So I’m holding tight to nine. Nine is where she still wants to cuddle in bed at night and talk about her day. Friend troubles, burgeoning crushes, worries...

Keep Reading

The First Day of Preschool is Hardest for the Moms

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
Preschoolers painting at table

The first day of Pre-K. Wow, that’s a hard one. On that first day, it starts with prolonged hugs. It progresses to tears. And it explodes with full-blown screaming as your child has to be peeled off your body, and you physically hurry for the exit while your heart lingers behind.  At the end of the preschool hallway, you stop, ears straining to hear whether your child has calmed down. But it’s too hard to tell with the noise from all the other children being dropped off on their own first day of Pre-K.  Pick-up should be better. Surely by...

Keep Reading

Welcome to Kindergarten, You’re about to Experience Something Great

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
Teacher gives young student a high five

I’m sure you have plenty of mom friends who can help prepare you for the drastic life change you are about to embark on as your child enters kindergarten. Maybe they prime you with humor: “Woohoo, someone else is responsible for turning them into a decent human now!” or “Hey, no more daycare payment!” Maybe they are the nurturing sappy type: “They’ll always be your baby! They’re onto new things!” Or maybe they’re just factual: “This is part of life. They will learn so much. You need to let them go eventually.” And all of these people would be telling...

Keep Reading

First Grade Is a Big Year

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
Little girl in dance costume walking down sidewalk, color photo

The beginning of a new school year always comes with little reminders that our babies are growing up. It’s a moment to reflect on how quickly they grow and dive into the excitement of a fresh new year. Of course, those first days are always bittersweet as they move up to a new grade, but so far, it’s been manageable. Pre-K then Kinder, I could handle those. Fun first years of school filled with play and cute little graduations. But this year, I feel like it’s getting really real. First grade! Can you believe it? How fast our babies grow....

Keep Reading

There Is Beauty in the In-Between

In: Child, Motherhood, Tween
Tween girl standing on boardwalk of beach

She’s at that in-between stage—not a young child, not a teen. She’s tall. So very tall. And a little bit gangly. But she runs like a small child, and it looks so endearingly awkward. My baby, my girl, still with the body of a child but the mind of an inquisitive adolescent. She’s curious, she’s funny, but still so young. Her humor is on our level, she gets our jokes that go over her sisters’ heads, and she makes us laugh so much. But then, she asks a question that reminds us of her precious young years. She’s still new...

Keep Reading

I Just Can’t Let Go of the Play Kitchen Yet

In: Child, Kids, Motherhood
Play kitchen set up near patio door, color photo

If there is one toy I would love to pass along, it is my children’s play kitchen. At 10 and 7 years old, it is no longer a priority toy for my daughter and son. Instead, the play kitchen has become a sort of dumping ground for any current toys that need a temporary storage space. As I glance at it now, it houses my son’s constructed LEGO helicopter, Nerf guns, and a robot as well as my daughter’s collection of library books, a random water bottle in her favorite color orange, and her jumping rope. Remnants of pans, utensils,...

Keep Reading