Pre-Order So God Made a Mother

Hey there, house. It’s me. I know I don’t clean you or take care of you as much as I used to. I don’t stand still or stop in rooms as often anymore either. If I do, I’m usually running through to grab something that’s been cast aside on the floor by one of the four younger humans that occupy you almost full-time now.

Hey, chair. I miss sitting in you, I do. But you see, I have to chase this toddler, or get these boys started on school work, or get everyone outside to burn some energy off. Better yet, you’re going to double as a Nerf gun battle barrier for the afternoon. At least my kids keep you more company than they used to, and I love to catch the sight of two little legs dangling off the side of you as one of them immerses themselves in a book or even better to see a couple of my kids cuddled up together on you.

Someday I’ll sit in you again, but not today.

Hey, shower. I know I don’t frequent you as often as I’d like either these days. And when I do, sometimes I’m accompanied by a cute little girl who sings and dances or cries on the other side of the curtain, and I have to jump out with my hair still wet. Someday I’ll take a long, long shower again—just not right now.

RELATED: When a Mom Says She Needs a Break

Hey, kitchen. Well, I see way more of you now than I ever have in my life. When this is all over, I’m going to need some space. It’s not you, it’s me and all of that. I just think some time apart would do us both a lot of good. I’ll come back someday, but yeah, after making 5.3 million meals in you since March, I think we need a break.

Hey, playroom. Someday I just hope to see the floor again. Someday.

Hey, closet. Thank you for having me when I just needed a minute and somewhere to hide. That wasn’t full of people. I’ll never forget that.

Hey, desk. You used to be all mine, but now you’ve been converted into a true command central. Baby toys live on your shelves for when I have that work meeting and no one can help with the baby. Elementary school books live there too for when school’s online. You are covered in crumbs and snacks and notes and sweet doodles from kids. It’s a good look for you.

RELATED: I Want to Remember This Time So I’ll Never Be Ungrateful Again

Hey, house. I must say, you are messier, dustier, and noisier than you’ve ever been. You’re also more lived in and lovelier than you’ve ever been.

Full of life and love, just like a house should be.

Times have been harder than usual, but I hope when all this is over we hold onto all the life that happened while all this was going on. Family movie nights, Nerf battles, family Olympics, cooking together, eating together, arguing together, playing together, figuring it out together, praying a lot more together. I may miss these rooms, but, someday, I will remember all this more.

Love,
Parents of young children everywhere during a pandemic

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Candice Mrazik

Candice Mrazik is a military veteran, former elementary school teacher, current military spouse and a mom to 4 (3 boys and one girl). With 12+ years of parenting under her belt she is still getting used to the ever growing height of her boys and the family laundry pile. She enjoys walking, writing, traveling with her family, dark European chocolate and couldn’t be more thankful that her hands are completely full.

Don’t Call, Text (and Other Things You Need to Know about Me As Your Mom Friend)

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
3 moms holding babies on a couch

This is the kind of mom I am right now. Don’t talk to me during gymnastics class or swim class—this is my quiet time, and I am either getting a break from life or catching up on texts and emails or looking up the hours of the trampoline park for our next playdate. My Notes app is filled with grocery list upon grocery list. I have developed systems to stay sane. When grocery shopping, I get the one item I need first rather than last because too many times I forget the one thing I need and can’t make dinner....

Keep Reading

There’s No Hard like NICU Hard

In: Baby, Motherhood
Three women and two toddlers, color photo

To the mamas and daddies navigating the NICU: There’s no hard like NICU hard. Seeing your spanking-new beloved placed in a glass bassinet and rolled away from your aching breasts and empty arms—it’s the absolute hardest. No one who hasn’t been there can possibly understand. But many of us out here get it. We understand your emotions—the tangled and tied-up ones that unraveled in that bassinet’s wake. Fear, anger, frustration, helplessness, sorrow. You feel like a failure. You feel completely undone. Defeated.  But you’re not even one of those things. You are parents, and parents are practically superhuman. You have...

Keep Reading

I Am the Griever

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Mother kissing child's forehead

As I write this, my mother-in-law is in the ICU. We don’t expect her to leave.  She’s too young. Sixty-four. We got the call on Saturday.  “Get here this week,” they said. So we did. With a newborn, a 3-year-old, a 5-year-old, and a soon-to-be 16-year-old. We managed ICU visits with my in-laws and juggled childcare so we could all take turns seeing the matriarch. For the last time? Maybe.  The logistics are all-consuming and don’t leave a lot of space for anything else. Also, I hate logistics. My son asks questions nobody knows how to answer: Will I die...

Keep Reading

Anxious Moms Need Friends Too

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Women hugging outside

When I was 32, my family and I decided to move out of state. The state I had lived in all my life, where almost all my family and friends lived. Most of my friendships were childhood friends or friends I made in college. I made very few new, adult friendships after college. Maybe I felt I didn’t really need to because there was always a friend I could call. Or maybe, I didn’t want to step outside my comfort zone, face possible rejection, and felt it was just easier not to talk to people (hint: it was definitely the...

Keep Reading

A Permission Slip for Creativity

In: Living, Motherhood
Create Anyway book in the middle of kids playing with building blocks on floor

The following is an excerpt from Create Anyway by Ashlee Gadd, available today wherever books are sold! In those first few weeks at home with a milk-drunk newborn in my arms, I Googled every little thing, hopping in and out of online parenting forums, desperate for an instruction manual. Is it normal for a baby to poop six times in one day? Does breastfeeding ever get easier? Underneath my nitty-gritty questions loomed the ultimate insecurity every first-time mom battles: Am I doing this whole motherhood thing right? Just a few months prior, I had quit my pencil-skirt-and-high-heels- wearing marketing job...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter, It’s Okay If You Hate Me Right Now

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen, Tween
Teen girl looking up at mother

Dear daughter: I’ve heard it from you a thousand times when you don’t get your way. You yell it when your force of will doesn’t bend mine, thinking it will convince me to give in. But I’m here to tell you once and for all: I don’t care if you hate me right now. Last night you hated me because I made you take a bath before bed. This morning, it was because I made you wear pants. I’m the worst mom ever because I told you to eat a vegetable, and the whole day is ruined because I won’t...

Keep Reading

You’re Learning Life by Watching Me

In: Kids, Motherhood
Child touching mother's face as they lie on a bed

Every morning my daughter and I go outside for some fresh air. She feeds her chickens and plays and explores and walks around with her dog while I follow her around and have a cup of coffee.  This morning, my girl grabbed one of her coffee cups from her toy kitchen and brought it outside with her while she walked with her dog and pretended to take sips out of it.  Guys. I stood there watching her with her toy coffee cup, walking around with her animals, and I cried giant baby tears.  RELATED: I Wasn’t Counting On You Growing...

Keep Reading

The Isolation of Motherhood

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Mom sitting beside stroller, black and white image

During my early years of having children, I can recall feeling like I needed more help with juggling—taking care of my little ones and our home. Although my mother-in-law was only a 10-minute drive away, she was preoccupied looking after my nephew and nieces. Awkwardly, I would only ask if it was really necessary—like a doctor’s appointment or the dentist. Even at church, it was difficult to ask for help—either we didn’t know certain members well enough to entrust our kids to their care or they were friends with children too and that hardly seemed fair to burden them. The...

Keep Reading

What Happens to the Mamas When Their Children Are Grown?

In: Faith, Motherhood
Five children walking hand-in-hand, color photo

A friend came up to me the other day after church and commented, “I’ve never seen you alone. I had to make sure you were okay.” It’s true. I’m never alone. I usually have one or two children hanging onto me and three more milling about with my husband close. But at that moment, my husband had stepped away to collect the younger ones from the children’s service, and my older two had run off with their friends. I was standing alone. And as I stood there, one thought crossed my mind, “This is what it will be like when...

Keep Reading

Hello Midnight

In: Motherhood
Mother in child's room at night

Hello again, Midnight. I wish I could say I was happy to see you. My, what a journey we have had together over the years. I must admit I thought we started out as friends, but as we meet these days, I sense an unkindness about you. Our journey began when I was somewhere around 12. Sure, I had met you in passing on occasion in years prior, but it wasn’t until now that I sought out your companionship. Some middle school girlfriends and I stayed up late, feeling rebellious against bedtime. We were fascinated by the way the world...

Keep Reading