Dear society,

Please be kind to those with broken hearts this holiday season.

Please understand that they are doing the best they can.

Please remember that there is no time frame for grief.

Grief—in one form or another—will always be felt.

Please know that for some, this is the absolute most difficult time of the year.

The depths of the pain.

Bursting at the seams.

Please be empathetic.

Caring.

And non-judgmental.

Please think about how you would feel.

If your everything.

Were no longer here.

Please extend a hand.

A hug.

And some love.

Please know that we may need you now.

More than ever before.

Please know that you cannot heal our grief.

Or our broken hearts.

Nor do we want you to.

Please respect our wishes.

And always offer us an invitation.

Even if we do not want to attend.

Please know that we are not jealous of your joy.

But that seeing others happy can be a devastating reminder.

Of the pronounced void that now exists.

Please love us.

Through our pain.

And above all else.

Please. . .

Say their name.

This post originally appeared on Better Not Bitter Widower with Coach John Polo

Grief is messy and can feel so lonely. It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a great read for anyone who is grieving or supporting a loved one through grief. Don’t have time to read? You can listen here, on Audible. 

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John Polo

John Polo is a widower and step dad. He is also an author, blogger and speaker. John met the love of his life, Michelle, at a young age, and the two dated for a year in High School.  After eight years apart the two reunited and planned to spend their life together, alongside Michelle’s amazing daughter.  Two years after their reunion Michelle was diagnosed with an extremely rare and aggressive cancer.  So rare in fact, that the two were told when you consider what type of cancer it was, and where it developed, there is only one case a year in the world of what Michelle had.  Michelle fought valiantly for two and a half years before taking her last breath on January 22, 2016. It was no easy feat, but while Michelle was in hospice John had a moment that would forever change him.  He was able to rid himself of the bitter, and find his better. John is currently a contributor to a handful of blogs and websites; including Good Men Project, Hope for Widows, The Grief Toolbox and The Mighty. He also serves on the Hope for Widows Advisory Board, is a speaker for the National Cancer Survivor’s Day Foundation and is a member of the International Association of Professional Writers & Editors. John has co-authored a journal entitled ‘Hurt to Healing, The Journal from Life to the Afterlife’ and his first book, entitled ‘Widowed: Rants, Raves and Randoms’ will be released on November 11th, 2017. John’s true passions are writing and speaking about love, loss and hope as he tries to help others honor their pain and see that a hopeful tomorrow can indeed exist. You can find John’s blog at www.betternotbitterwidower.com and on Facebook.