Grief is messy and can feel so lonely. It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a great read for anyone who is grieving or supporting a loved one through grief. Don’t have time to read? You can listen here, on Audible.
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John Polo is a widower and step dad.
He is also an author, blogger and speaker.
John met the love of his life, Michelle, at a young age, and the two dated for a year in High School. After eight years apart the two reunited and planned to spend their life together, alongside Michelle’s amazing daughter. Two years after their reunion Michelle was diagnosed with an extremely rare and aggressive cancer. So rare in fact, that the two were told when you consider what type of cancer it was, and where it developed, there is only one case a year in the world of what Michelle had.
Michelle fought valiantly for two and a half years before taking her last breath on January 22, 2016.
It was no easy feat, but while Michelle was in hospice John had a moment that would forever change him. He was able to rid himself of the bitter, and find his better.
John is currently a contributor to a handful of blogs and websites; including Good Men Project, Hope for Widows, The Grief Toolbox and The Mighty.
He also serves on the Hope for Widows Advisory Board, is a speaker for the National Cancer Survivor’s Day Foundation and is a member of the International Association of Professional Writers & Editors.
John has co-authored a journal entitled ‘Hurt to Healing, The Journal from Life to the Afterlife’ and his first book, entitled ‘Widowed: Rants, Raves and Randoms’ will be released on November 11th, 2017.
John’s true passions are writing and speaking about love, loss and hope as he tries to help others honor their pain and see that a hopeful tomorrow can indeed exist.
You can find John’s blog at www.betternotbitterwidower.com and on Facebook.
Twenty-five feet of crystal-clear water rolled between the pier where I stood and the smooth, colorful boulders on the lake floor. I was enchanted by this simmering window into aquatic life, mesmerized, in my own world. “Ann-Marie, the line is moving,” a voice called out. My parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and I were all about to board the ferry for Mackinac Island. Each step in the line gave a new perspective on the world below my feet and of the majestic sailboats that effortlessly floated by the pier on the waves. I think of these things as I...
To my mother-in-law in Heaven, It never gets easier. Year after year, it still feels so fresh. The pain of grieving you. Every detail still lays precisely in my mind. I know what you’re seeing now far outweighs anything you could be seeing here with us, but I wish you could see. I know you’re basking in the Father’s beautiful presence and dancing in His glory. But I still wish you could see. I wish you could see your son—the man he has become. When we were first married, we were just babies, but you and I were already so...
Children are resilient and I believe many people use this logic to think children will be just fine after something happens. And while they are truly able to overcome so much, it is unfair to assume they will be just fine after a tragedy occurs. As a society, I believe we can be dismissive of a child’s mental health. Especially during a pandemic, kids have developed newfound anxieties that really didn’t exist prior to this. The things we used to be able to do freely, we can’t do anymore, or if we do, it comes with more rules. So many...
Cheese toast on chilly mornings worked its way deep into my favorite childhood memories after my mom died. I remember eating the toast, but I don’t ever recall thanking the woman who made sure a piece or two was saved for me more mornings than I can count. I was young, and when you’re that young you don’t really understand the sacrifice of others. I definitely didn’t see the way our neighbor was still being a friend to my mom. RELATED: To My Friend’s Kids—I Love You Like You’re Mine About a year or so ago, I reached out to...
Windows down, we took in the breathtaking views of Leelanau Peninsula. “It is just so beautiful,” we kept repeating to each other as our little family caravan headed toward Sleeping Bears Dunes. I sat shotgun. Nothing makes me much happier than to sit next to my dad as he drives his truck, even as a grown woman. Although, I am familiar with Northern Michigan, this trip was my first to Sleeping Bear Dunes. Once we arrived, my girls and I looked up in awe at the mountain of sand. Like all curious children, they asked lots of questions. How much...
To the wife of a grieving husband, I am both happy and sad you’ve stumbled upon this piece. Happy because I hope you find solace in the shared comradery of community, but sad that you’re walking through grief. I am sorry for your husband and that he has lost something precious and dear—a life he loved. I’m sorry you’re navigating one of the most difficult seasons of marriage. I’m sorry that you’re watching your spouse vacillate with uncharted emotions. But I’m so glad he has you. Be Gentle Be gentle with him and be gentle with yourself. Grief will come...
What was supposed to be a beautiful bonding moment between mother and daughter turned sour mere seconds upon the doctor’s arrival. I had just given birth the day before, and the hospital pediatrician was making her rounds in the maternity ward—a very common occurrence. “Did you start breastfeeding?” the doctor asked. She wasn’t very pleased with my answer and shook her head as I hung mine. She wanted to know why. I was honest. I explained that since my baby boy’s passing 13 months ago, I had been seriously depressed and anxious. With the guidance and support of my amazing...
My life can be split into two sections: things that happened before my brother died, and things that have happened since. Every single little thing seems to be measured by that benchmark. All my memories, good and bad are slotted into one of those categories. When did x,y,z happen? Was it before or after we lost him? The event is like a catalyst for my life, a time-altering, major turning point from one way of living to another. A change in all of us, a shift from our old normal. One minute he was here, then the next, gone. As quickly...
Pippa has four children. Three of them you can see, cuddle, and talk to. One of them you can’t. One of them is an angel baby. Angel babies are children who die during the course of pregnancy or shortly after birth as a result of miscarriage from various causes. In the developed world, the statistics on infant loss have remained strangely consistent over the past few decades, even despite all the advances in medicine, midwifery, and obstetrics that we have witnessed. As a result, pregnancy loss and stillbirth are by no means fringe events. One in three women suffers a...
I found myself reaching for the fancy plate yesterday morning. It’s a hand-painted earthenware plate I fell in love with years ago when my daughter worked at an upscale home store and I was waiting for her to finish her shift one evening. It was in the clearance section, still a luxury, too fancy, but with her employee discount, I surrendered. There is something bright and cheery and special about the yellow and red raised flowers. It’s a small plate, actually a salad plate I suppose, but I’ve treasured it since I bought it. RELATED: God Actually Does Give Us...