Gasp. My very first post and I’m talking about the d word. Bear with me, folks. I’m not here to tell you how awesome my marriage is. Nor am I here to give you 5 simple steps to save your marriage. I’m not qualified to do either. I don’t want you to feel an ounce of negativity or shame or anger or guilt from this post, either. I’m simply telling you what it’s like to be a newlywed in a world full of divorce. And a happy one at that.
We were 20 years old when Taylor asked me to be his wife and barely 21 when he became my husband. To say we were naïve is a bit of an understatement. That was almost three years ago, and to say we are still naïve is also a bit of an understatement. But it was such an exciting time for us, and I was so so happy. I had known since our second date that I was going to marry him. I think he knew too, but our decision making timelines are a little different 🙂
Our families supported us 100%, and after having ‘the talk’ with my dad, Taylor made it official. Everyone was so excited for us and most responded with “I just knew it!” or “we couldn’t be happier for you guys!” We were (and still are) so blessed to be surrounded by such caring and supporting people. But even with all of the positivity, some responses caught me off guard. People who didn’t know us super well showed worry, concern, and even fear for us. One lady even told me “Oh! You’re so young! I hope it works out….”
But as much as I wasn’t expecting them, the reality is that these responses are actually pretty appropriate when we consider how many marriages today aren’t “working out”. And as someone who believes with my whole heart that I will still be Mrs. Majerus 60 years from now, that absolutely terrifies me. Because as much as I would like to believe it to be true, no marriage is 100% immune to divorce.
Not even mine.
So what are we to do? Pray. Communicate. Acknowledge your lack of immunity and act on it. Sacrifice. Build your foundation on Christ. Work together as a team rather than two individuals. Take the driver’s seat when it’s your turn and the passenger seat when it’s not. Think of your spouse’s needs before your own. Let him spend the money you made on
a another shotgun. Cook the poor guy supper once in awhile. Let him take two years to get a Craigslist grill in working order, and tell him how good he looks when he’s finally serving you that first burger (at least, that’s what I’m planning to do when he actually does finally grill me a burger…). Encourage him when he’s burnt out on work or school.
It’s going to look different for every marriage. But just as we spend time doing things to keep our own body healthy and building up its immunity, we must also do the same for our marriage. The odds are against us, people. And it’s going to take some conscious effort and a lot of it day in and day out to change that.