Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

Dear dads,

We see you.

You are seen. You are loved. You are appreciated. You are adored.

We see how tired you are.

How you work all day long, giving your best, excelling at what you’ve chosen. Then you come home, and even though you have nothing left to give, you still do. You play with your kids. You mow, you shovel, you sweep, you do the dishes. You let us take some space from being the children’s first responder. You love.

We see your self-sacrifice.

How you would rather watch TV, or sleep, or golf, or something other than be domestic. But yet you do. You give of yourself even when you don’t want to, when you feel like a shell of a man. You make decisions that put everyone else in your family first and leave yourself last. Your money goes to us, your time goes to us, your thoughts go to us, your dreams go to us. Your sacrifice is humbling.

RELATED: Dear Husband, Thank You For Working So Hard For Us

We see your pain.

You try to be strong for all of us, to hold up all our emotions and our bad days. But we can see you on your own bad days. Don’t try to hide it. The strength you have given us will be given back to you. Rest into your family. We can hold your aching.

We see your fear.

How you’ve never been a dad before. How you’ve never led a family before. How Every. Single. Day. has new challenges. How you feel like you don’t have it all together like you should as a father. But you are thriving. Every day you move toward love and make decisions that breed life. Fear should fear you, for all your courage and potency.

We see your insecurity.

To accept that men have issues like women is still taboo. But hold the space you deserve. Be the conversation. Lean into the love you’ve fostered in your family and realize you have a place to struggle. A place to be vulnerable. A place to work out your weaknesses. A place to be held up in love. Because vulnerability breeds strength, not weakness.

We see how you feel alone.

How you don’t often have time for friends because you divide your time selflessly between work and home. We will work at balance together. Because we are both more than being a parent. We need each other, but we need our friends, too.

We see your charisma.

How your children adore you. They will be more successful in life because of you and will likely have higher IQs. You play in a way they need, in a way we just don’t quite get. You throw them too far, push their swings too high, and tackle them too hard. You are their hero. And for how you love our children, you are ours.

RELATED: Dear Husband: To Us, You Are a Superhero

We see your sensitivity.

How your family has your whole heart. How their tears make yours well up. How their frustrations become yours. How their pain makes you throb. How their success has become more important than yours. How their hugs and I love yous melt you in a way that increases your capacity for kindness. Your gentleness is our backbone, your compassion is our strength.

We see you, dads.

RELATED: The Transformation of a Man Into a Daddy is Breathtaking

And we want to tell you that you are doing the best job.

You are everything a father should be and more. You are a vessel of love that pours into your family. We are all better because of you. We cannot do it alone and are incomplete without all you give. We need the way you balance, the way you love, the way you struggle, the way you lead. We need your compassion, your gentleness, your strength, your influence. We need you.

We appreciate you. We adore you. We love you.

Thank you, dads, not for what you do, but for who you are.

Love forever and all eternity,
Moms

Previously published on the author’s blog

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Erika Rachelle Anderson

Erika is an elementary school teacher, recently turned stay-at-home mom. She and her husband of 10 years have three beautiful girls (ages 3, 4 and 5). She writes about finding the calm in the chaos, focusing on faith, parenting, and mental health at erikarachelleanderson.com

Marriage Is Too Short to Fight over Trash Bags

In: Marriage
Man hugging woman in front of a window

It was a Sunday, and we had just returned from a hospital stay with our medically complex daughter. We needed a reset—one of those “all house chores get tackled in a day” type of resets. We needed a fresh start. Around mid-day, my husband Josh and I were both in full cleaning mode. The morning had been chaotic. Our daughter was struggling with seizures, and our son was still buzzing with excitement from two birthday parties he had attended the day before. As he begged for the banana bread in the oven to cook faster and for more episodes of...

Keep Reading

Your Husband Needs Friendship Too

In: Faith, Friendship, Marriage
3 men smiling outside

As the clock inches closer to 7:00 on a Monday evening, I pull out whatever dessert I had prepared that week and set it out on the kitchen counter. This particular week it’s a trifle, but other weeks it may be brownies, pound cake, or cookies of some kind. My eyes do one last sweep to make sure there isn’t a tripping hazard disguised as a dog toy on the floor and that the leftover dinner is put away. Then, my kids and I make ourselves scarce. Sometimes that involves library runs or gym visits, but it mostly looks like...

Keep Reading

Dear Husband, Some Days I Feel So Alone

In: Marriage, Motherhood
Woman holding toddler looking tired

Dear my love, I am sitting here at the table you built, back when time was plentiful, and money was sparse. Back when pre-drinks were always at our place, loving sleep-ins were abundant, and the days were our own. I wonder . . . back then, what we might have imagined our life would look like, 10 years later? Would we have pictured the white picket fence, the curly, fair-haired, sensitive little boy and cheeky little girl? We probably would have imagined that we would be hard working, but would we have pictured the deep-set exhaustion that is our day-to-day...

Keep Reading

I Never Thought I’d be Divorced…Twice

In: Living, Marriage
Woman walking away on boardwalk alone

Divorced. I never thought it’d be me. Especially twice divorced. Yet, here I am, single again after two failed marriages. I say failed because the marriages didn’t last. But were they really failures? Failure is defined as a “lack of success.” But by what yardstick is success measured? I know plenty of people in absolutely miserable marriages that I would not consider successful. So is it really fair to call my two marriages failures? I guess it depends on who you ask and what they see as a failure versus a success. Just because a marriage is legally intact doesn’t...

Keep Reading

Marriage Is So Much More than Love

In: Marriage
Husband and wife hugging, color photo

I met my husband when I was 19. I knew right away there was something there. I was intrigued by him—his looks, his smile, his big heart, his mysterious side. He was unapologetically himself. He listened to his music a little too loud, did his own thing, didn’t try to impress my parents, and lived his life on his own terms. With his hat backward, those big blue eyes, and that mischievous grin . . . I fell hook, line, and sinker. I loved the fact that he had his own house, his own boat, his own life. I was...

Keep Reading

Look for the Green Flags Too

In: Marriage
Couple hugs with twinkle lights in background

We all think we want that storybook romance. We want a partner to sweep into our lives, sing love songs outside of our bedroom window, buy huge bouquets of flowers for no particular reason, publicly declare their love for us every day, and when they’re wrong they should always apologize into a microphone in front of a large crowd. Besides the fact that most of the above are clues that Prince Charming is actually an undercover narcissist and you should probably run far away, this kind of romance sounds rather exhausting. Sure, it sounds fun for a while, but there’s...

Keep Reading

Dear Husband, I Remember It All

In: Marriage
Man and woman touch foreheads and smile

Dear husband,  I remember when we were dating in high school, all snuggled up sitting on the couch by the fire in your parents’ basement, talking about our hopes and dreams for our future. We both hoped to be in each other’s future. I remember going on so many adventures. All the laughs, the jokes, all the times we got into trouble and said, “This will make a great story afterward.” I remember when you asked me to marry you. We were so young, so naive with no idea of what the future would hold, but we couldn’t have been...

Keep Reading

What Happens When Your Perfect Life Explodes?

In: Grief, Living, Loss, Marriage, Motherhood
Sad woman by window with her head in hands

One day you’re living your best life, writing articles about how perfect your marriage is, and the next, BOOM, life as you know it completely changes. I was blindsided by information that my husband had been lying to me for three years about certain aspects of our lives. I felt like I had been hit in the gut by the biggest rock you could imagine. What has followed has been a snowball of events and new information that has changed the course of my and my kids’ lives. So what do you do when your perfect explodes? This is one...

Keep Reading

Dear Husband, In This Busy Season

In: Living, Marriage
Busy family in the kitchen, man walking into the door holding coffee

Dear husband,  I know this is a busy season for you. I see how hard you’re working. And I know you come home exhausted every night. I know you’d be here earlier—and more often—if you could. But you can’t. Because this is your busy season.  And there are a few things I need you to know.  This is hard for me too. Even on normal days, I’m on call 24/7 for the kids, but now, I don’t have you at home as backup. The needing never stops, and I no longer have you to share it with. I can’t say,...

Keep Reading

Attention Husbands, Your Wife Needs Your Touch

In: Marriage
Man kissing woman on forehead

Attention husbands, Your wife needs your touch. And I’m not just talking about sex, though she needs that too, I’m talking about intimacy beyond the bedroom. I’m talking about reaching for her hand while you’re driving. Holding her hand and walking closely in public. Cuddling on the couch while watching TV. Pulling her close and kissing her passionately when she least expects it. Wrapping your arms around her and holding her just for the sake of being close with no other expectations. Pushing the hair back out of her eyes just so you can touch her face.  RELATED: The Key to...

Keep Reading