A Gift for Mom! 🤍

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts on social media lately about living your best life. There might be a snapshot of someone on a cliff overlooking a canyon with a quote about the best life. Or a picture of a person kayaking down the Amazon River with a note: “Look at me floating down the Amazon. I’ve decided to live my best life.” There are yoga poses, beach poses, selfies, and family portraits, all with some type of best life caption. 

And I can’t help but wonder—am I living my best life?

I’ve never climbed a mountain. Or seen the Amazon. Or taken any kind of selfie that I would even consider posting on social media (why can my 8-year-old daughter take better selfies than I can?). I’m not even sure what living your best life means, but it sounds like fun. I wish I knew how to do it. 

A few weeks ago I found myself with a rare night alone in our house. The children were gone, my husband was gone—it was just me and the dog. After a much-needed nap on the sofa, I woke up to a night full of possibilities. Should I order take-out and binge on Netflix? Should I call up some girlfriends for a night out? Pedicure? Massage? Concert? The night was mine and I was ready to live my best life. 

Except I didn’t. I was lonely. I took out my phone and looked at pictures of the kids. I watched the silly videos they made. I wished my husband was home so I would have somebody to talk to. I moped around the house and washed the sheets. I talked to my mom on the phone. I ended up getting sushi from the grocery store and watching a documentary on PBS. My lights were out before 9 p.m. 

Obviously, I’m not the one living my best life. 

I don’t like staying up late. 

I really enjoy growing tomatoes in my backyard. 

I love reading biographies of past presidents. 

The smell of freshly mowed grass is like heaven to me. 

I don’t know how to cook with wine. 

I hate any and all sorts of games. 

My favorite place to be on a Friday night is on the couch with the kids, the dog, and my husband. 

I was worried for a little while that I wasn’t living my best life. After all, I couldn’t live up to the perfect Amazon trips or fantastic beach pictures. And even if I was, there are almost always other things popping up making me question if this is my best life or not. There might be stress at work or worry about something that happened at the kids’ school. Somebody gets sick or somebody gets mad. We fight and we make-up. The dog runs away, the air conditioner goes out, the trip gets canceled. 

But here’s the thing I have started to realize: real life is my best life.

And I really, really like mine when I stop comparing.

My best life is not your best life and that’s the beauty of it all. You might like climbing mountains and I might like the new Truman book I got at the half-priced bookstore. That’s OK. 

Sure, I enjoy new challenges and experiences. I like to think of myself as slightly adventurous with a side of caution. I’m the first one to want to travel to someplace different and meet new people. I like learning about our world and exploring wonderful places. I love a night out with good friends. Hosting people at our house is one of my favorite things to do and watching my family dance in the living room always brings me joy. We laugh a lot. We try our best to love others as Jesus taught us to do. Our house has a revolving front door, so we can go out and love our neighbor and welcome those into our home who might need a safe haven. 

But our life is never perfect. And the day we pretend it is will be the day I know we have stopped living our best life. Because I think living my best life really means being myself, loving others as God has loved us, helping those who can’t help themselves, and understanding that this life is a gift—even on the bad days. 

So you go kayak down the Amazon and I’ll keep growing my tomatoes. I’ll learn from you and you can learn from me. And we can both be living our best lives together. 

You may also like:

Real Life is Messy

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Sally Newcomer

Sally lives in a small, sleepy, Louisiana town with her husband, two kids, and her favorite mutt who rules the home. She loves to write about living life in the South, her experiences with raising a son with Type 1 Diabetes, and the sacredness we can find in everyday life. Sally shares her stories on her blog: www.thesacredthesouthandsugar.com, or you can follow her on Facebook and Instagram at The Sacred, The South, and Sugar.

I’m Constantly Waiting for the Metaphorical Axe To Fall

In: Living
Woman worried with head in lap

I knew people died. I just didn’t think it applied to us. Mortality met me in grade two with a punch to the gut when my teacher confirmed casually that, yes, everybody dies. What do you mean, everybody dies? I frantically thought, but kept my question to myself. Up until that moment, I had quietly believed my family was exempt from that fate. I thought death was a monster that only took other people and left my family alone. They say all panic has an origin story, and mine began shortly after that realization, fueled by a disconnected phone cord...

Keep Reading

The Apology You Deserve May Never Come

In: Living
Woman standing in field wearing hat

“You have to accept that you will likely never get the apology you deserve.” When my therapist said those words, I felt everything at once-anger, resentment, heartbreak. It was as if the air had been pulled straight from my lungs. Because accepting that truth meant letting go of something I had been holding onto for a long time: the hope that one day, it would all be acknowledged. My family was deeply wronged. Not in a way that can be brushed off or easily forgotten, but in a way that cut to the core. There were lies wrapped in deception,...

Keep Reading

To the Little Girl With Pink Flowers on Her Shoes and Courage in Her Heart

In: Living
Little girl in t-ball outfit

To the little girl with pink flowers on her white shoes and lacy fold-down socks, down and ready, tee ball glove in hand, teeth marks worn into the top. The Pittsburgh Pirates hat from Uncle Dave, a sign of camaraderie. A part of something bigger than herself. A too-long, locally sponsored t-shirt, tied up with a ponytail. Jean shorts and a belt. The type of ordinary only childhood can be. When ordinary is more than enough. No one can tell in this picture that you were scared. That you didn’t feel ready. That behind that tiny-toothed grin you were holding...

Keep Reading

Keep Searching for the Perfect Pair of Jeans

In: Living
Woman shopping for jeans

I don’t know about you, but finding a good pair of jeans has always felt like a process to me. These are too tight. Those are too loose. They fit my thighs but bunch at my hips. The dreaded waist gap. Too short—high waters. Too long, and suddenly you can’t find your legs. Before you know it, you’re ordering your fourth pair and eyeing a fifth. A woman on a mission. And still, as I stand there looking in the mirror at everything that doesn’t quite work, I just know there is a perfect pair out there for me. Somewhere....

Keep Reading

Why I Had My Benign Breast Lumps Removed

In: Living
Doctor examines mammogram images

My journey with monitoring benign breast lumps began in July of 2020 when my OB-GYN found a lump. I was sent home with an ultrasound referral. I called immediately after I got home and asked for the soonest appointment at any location. I had a young son, and was absolutely terrified. They got me in at the end of the week. My husband was on vacation that week, and what should have been an enjoyable family time was plagued with worry. At the ultrasound appointment, they saw two small lumps. I was told these were “likely benign” and was given...

Keep Reading

Repotting Myself: What My One‑Armed Grandpa Taught Me About Growing Anyway

In: Grief, Living
Black and white photo of older man in garden

I was never meant to be a plant person. I’m the woman who can kill a succulent on the way home from the store. Once, a fern sighed in my direction and gave up. That is my spiritual gift. My grandpa Dominic would have laughed—hard. He loved to laugh. And sing hymns passionately in Italian. He was an Italian immigrant who lost his arm working in a mill, and still, he woke up every morning and dressed like dignity itself. He shopped for my grandma. He fixed what was broken. And he tended the biggest, happiest garden you’ve ever seen....

Keep Reading

Farewell To the Bus Stop Moms

In: Friendship
Four women pose in residential street

It seems like just yesterday I was writing a piece about my last baby going off to kindergarten. I poured my heart out into words about how she was going to find her place in the world, and how I was going to find a new sense of belonging. I wrote, “I was able to find a bit of ‘me’ again. She has barely left my side in almost six years, so her absence is still fresh and foreign. But I know her jubilant little self will be just fine. And just like that, she’s on her way. And so...

Keep Reading

May is Maternal Mental Health Month, and So Many Moms Are Quietly Drowning

In: Living
Mother with baby strapped to chest

I’ve given birth to four beautiful boys and lived through four postpartum experiences. Each one has been different, yet there are familiar threads that run through them all. In the first couple of weeks after my first baby was born, I felt carefree…until that bubble was popped. My newborn got sick and was admitted to the PICU at a children’s hospital 30 minutes from our home. At one point, doctors mentioned the possibility of meningitis, but after many tests and a several-day admission, we were sent home. When we were discharged, a doctor left me with these words, “It’s your...

Keep Reading

The Hard Truth about Friendship in Your 40s

In: Friendship
Two people fishing on a dock

No one can really prepare you for how much friendships change in your 40s. We expect life shifts—kids grow, schedules fill, jobs demand more, and aging parents need us in new ways. Time becomes tighter, priorities change, and naturally, friendships have to adjust. That part makes sense, right? But what doesn’t get talked about enough is the quiet, hard shift, the one where it’s not just time or distance creating friendship gaps, but something deeper. What happens when you look around your “table” and realize it no longer feels like a safe place to land? What happens when you start...

Keep Reading

Sisterhood is So Special

In: Living
Vintage photo of sisters in pajamas

There’s something about sisterhood that’s so special. It’s having someone who’s seen every version of you—every awkward, messy, beautiful version—and loves you through it. Someone who holds a piece of your heart in a way nobody else can. Someone who remembers the little things that made you…you. And my sister? She’s that person for me. We couldn’t be more different. She’s extroverted, the life of the party, spontaneous, the more the merrier, always seeing the good in everything. I’m the cautious one, the loner, the guarded one, more comfortable sitting on the sidelines. I’ve always admired her and secretly wished...

Keep Reading