The English language can be difficult, to say the least. Between proper pronouns, accents, and urban dictionary slang, the meaning of what we say and what we actually mean . . . can get lost.

But there are sayings and phrases that don’t require much translation. Or even words for that matter. They can be understood by a simple look. They can be felt by a brush of a hand. And sometimes, if you’re lucky enough, it can be as obvious as a Julia Roberts rom-com embrace in a train station. That’s right, those three words.

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But in our house, they sound different. They’re not what you think. When my husband and I got married, we wrote and memorized our own vows, which, let me tell you, was anxiety-inducing. Regardless, it was special. Instead of exchanging traditional vows and declaring “I love you” in front of our friends, family, and random catering crew, we decided to say, “I choose you.”

Because after all, isn’t that what we’re doing? Making a conscious daily choice to love, understand, and respect this other person we share a home with? This other person who eventually becomes our home. And while three words can’t possibly sum up all the feels or capture the moment—it comes pretty darn close.

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And now, as parents, we’re continuing the tradition. To choose. To be present. To truly see each other. To love. And to try—even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

And most importantly, to help our children understand that love is work. The most important work you’ll ever do.