So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

I cried over a kitten this morning.

It felt dumb and ridiculous.

It felt compassionate too, yet the critic in my head condemned me for crying over a kitten when I so often fail in my desire to have a deeper compassion for other people.

It felt small and silly, for I could easily count a half dozen people I know and love who are walking through physical pain, devastating loss, or the death of loved ones in their lives.

You see, we’ve had three of the fluffiest gray puffballs of kittens, all look-alikes, one a wee bit smaller. We’ve delighted in watching them tumble and play.

This morning, Miss Betsy was missing. Little Bella and Buster Boy bounced about the deck, but their sister was not to be seen.

I rustled and searched and called. Nothing. Not a peep nor a bit of fluff appeared. I felt a bit anxious and hunted more persistently. 

 The three kittens had been so cute together, and somehow, it felt so amiss for only two of them to be wrestling and rolling across the porch floor in the morning sunlight. 

We’ve had many kittens disappear over our 20+ years on the farm and when my teens were much younger, we’d held our share of kitten funerals. I heaved a sigh and began to acknowledge another kitten gone. We were past full-fledged kitten funerals, but I knew my teens would mourn this loss with me.

Sadness clogged my throat and I scolded myself. After all, “It’s just a kitten,” the disdainfully cold critic’s voice reminded me.

That’s when it dawned on me.

 Nestled right near the center of the book of Matthew, a small sparrow speaks from the pages. Jesus explains that not even this sparrow falls to the ground without our Father noticing. He shares this visual story compelling us to lean in, to look, and linger in the significance our Creator anoints us with. 

If God watches over the sparrow, then why do I so easily forget how much God watches over me? How much God cares about me? How much He cares when I feel sad, tears trickling down my cheeks?

Why was it so easy to feel forsaken or alone? Feel forgotten? Forget what His Word says? Why sometimes did it feel like perhaps a sparrow was of more importance than I was and I was pathetically senseless to mourn a kitten?

I watched sunlight bounce off the porch eaves and I pondered. 

I didn’t have ready answers to these questions, but I knew in my heart-of-hearts I truly believed and trusted in God to care for me, to count the hairs on my head, and to call out the critic voices crippling me.

I also knew if my God noticed a sparrow, He certainly also notices kittens. 

I smiled slightly at the other two kittens and slipped into my kitchen. Sniffing a bit, I whispered a prayer for Betsy kitten while my touch of the button started the turntable in the microwave rotating to re-warm my coffee. 

Stepping out the back door 45 minutes later, I halted with happy surprise as my Birkenstocks reached the top porch step. Three kittens were batting and tussling across the sidewalk and into the grass! I was shocked. I’d called. I’d banged around the deck. I’d hunted. I’d looked in the basement window well. I’d labeled the missing kitten as gone. 

I’d whispered a prayer, but I’d also let loose of hope, much as one does the string of a helium balloon. I’d let it silently slide away and not even bothered to watch it fly.

Sometimes it’s easier. Sometimes it hurts too much to hope.

Sometimes it seems so silly, feels foolish. I know life holds many circumstances of more importance than mourning one missing kitten, no matter how cute and loved it was. 

Psalm 37:23 from the NLT is posted in the sidebar of my blog. Too easily I forget to rest in the promise it voices: “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.”

I felt our Father certainly has more grandiose matters to attend to. People fighting cancer, staving off starvation, searching for clean water, dying from disease. Parents burying a newborn infant, caring for four handicapped children, adopting orphans, and tending wounds. 

There are people with brighter resumes, more accolades, important missions, greater reach. People preaching compelling messages, offering up passionate prayers, leading grand conventions. 

So, there it was. The question on the table.

Did I believe God really sees me as more valuable than a sparrow and truly delights in the details of my life? Did I believe He cared for me in delightful days and difficult ones?

Scuffing my sandal toe, I pushed against the porch floor stirring the swing into motion above the heads of three purring kittens as I contemplated the question. 

Yes, oh yes, I knew without a doubt my response. I do believe He sees me as valuable! I did believe He’d seen my tears that very morning and bottled them up. I do believe He cares about my details. 

There are so many answers I don’t have. So many questions I do have. Too many times I doubt or despair and forget to remember.

 Still, when my heart is touched with a gentle reminder, I respond every time with “Oh, yes Lord! I do believe you delight in this daughter of Yours. Thank you for Your ever-loving care and Your kind nudge toward hopeful faith.”

You may also like:

God is For Me

God Sees the Lowly Mother

Deborah Flora

Deborah J. Flora is a blogger, photographer, and writer of words. She loves her farmhouse porch, wrapping fingers around a hot mug of cappuccino, and seeking laughter. She’s always up to curling up cozy with a good book or pulling fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies out of the oven.  She lives on a Kansas wheat farm with her good farmer man and her two super-cali-fragi-listic teens. Deborah seeks to inspire and encourage fellow comrades to fully embrace life and Every Good Day. She endeavors ever to chase after Delighting in the Daily Details. Connect at her blog, A Delightful Glow, where there’s usually a project, musing, book review or giveaway going on! Connect on Instagram, her favorite social media, as well!

As an Anxious Mom, I Remind Myself You Were God’s Child First

In: Faith, Motherhood
Little boy sleeping

I remember bringing that squishy baby home from the hospital. His 9-pound birth weight didn’t label him as scrawny by any means, but he was so small to us. I cringed the first time I laid him in the bassinet beside my bed. I wouldn’t be able to keep an eye on him all night long like the nurses in the hospital nursery. I couldn’t make sure he was breathing every second of my coveted slumber. To calm my worries, we turned on our bathroom light and left the door wide open. The extra light wouldn’t disturb our angel from...

Keep Reading

Home is Holy Ground

In: Faith, Motherhood
Kids and mom at home

Some days, I wake up and walk around my house feeling my chest rise looking at the chaotic mess I didn’t get done the day before.  Trampling over toys, incomplete laundry, and dishes that seem to load up by the end of the day. I pause, I stare, and I wonder which of the objects in each room I should tackle first. I take a deep breath and notice my heart and my mind are overwhelmed with a running checklist. Why can’t everything just get done all at one time? You can talk to a dozen mothers and I am...

Keep Reading

I Want My Kids To Know God’s Always There

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman holding cross in the palm of her hand, color photo

A few months ago, my friend lost his dad. And it impacted our community profoundly. Because he loved SO BIG. Everywhere he went, he couldn’t help but talk to and engage with people—sharing a joke to make them smile or offering a compliment to build them up. He was a connector. And in all the connecting he did, he was quick to remind everyone he encountered that our hearts are ever connected to a God who loves us. It had become his thing to pass out little wooden crosses to those he happily chatted up as he went about each...

Keep Reading

In Motherhood, Grace Makes up the Difference

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding young child

Today, I have been the mean mom, the tired mom, the overwhelmed mom, the anxious mom, the impatient mom, and the want to turn in my mom card mom. Mostly, I’ve felt like the I have no clue what I’m doing mom. I have raised my voice 47 times, told children to “suck it up, buttercup” 36 times, and have intervened in approximately 83 sibling disagreements. I have rolled my eyes 59 times, sighed 148 times, and visibly showed other signs of impatience, well, way too many times. RELATED: I’m a Good Mom, You Just Caught Me in a Bad...

Keep Reading

Jesus Meets Me in Motherhood With His No Matter What Love

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother embracing daughter in sunlit room

My toddler was that kid on the playground—the one who would push and bite, erupting into a tantrum and needing to be carried home screaming. As I would carry my child to the car, the other moms looked at me with sympathy, confusion, fear, and . . . judgment.  Parents of challenging kids know this look well. We see judgment everywhere we go. I knew others were judging me, and I knew our challenges were beyond the normal bell curve, but as an overwhelmed young mom, I did all I knew to do: I blamed myself.  At my lowest, I...

Keep Reading

Dear Child, God Sees All of You—And So Do I

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Mom and young son painting together

Math has always come easily to him. Even from the beginning stages when we counted wooden blocks on the living room floor, the numbers just came to him. “How many blocks are there?” I asked him, pointing to the scattered row of blocks. I expected him to count them. He was only three or four years old. “Six,” he answered promptly. “Yes . . . but how did you know that?” I asked hesitantly. He had not taken the time necessary to have counted them. “Three and three are six,” he replied. And on it went. The math came easily,...

Keep Reading

Dear Girl, Give Jesus Your Mess

In: Faith, Living
Woman holding Bible, color photo

Oh, dear girl, Give Jesus the mess. Your mess. The mess you think is too much or too big or too unbearable. The depths of the mess. The very worst of the mess. Lay it at His feet. He knew you long before the mess existed. Nobody knows your mess like Jesus. I assure you—this will not catch Him by surprise. Even when you do not understand, even when it is most difficult, even when you have your head buried in your hands. Praise Him, for God wastes nothing.  Even when it feels like opposition is coming at you from...

Keep Reading

A Mother’s Love Is an Endless Pursuit

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Child on bike, color photo

I look at him and my heart breaks into a million little pieces. It simply hurts too much to know he hurts. He is my heart, and it squeezes and revolts when he struggles. I want to close my eyes and hold him close, and when I resurface, I want the world to be different for him. Look different, smell different, taste different. But, it remains the same, this pain.   In the beginning, when he was in my womb, I held my hands on my stomach and his tiny feet kicked me back. His bodily imprint on my skin. He...

Keep Reading

Motherhood Brings Me to the Floor and Jesus Meets Me There

In: Faith, Motherhood

I recently came across a short memoir writing competition with the theme, “Places that have made me, changed me, or inspired me.” I could write something for that, I thought. I’m by no means a jet-setter, but I do have a passport. I spent my 16th birthday in Russia on a three-week mission trip. During college, I lived in Thessaloniki, Greece for a four-month study abroad program. After my British husband and I got married, we settled in the UK, where we’ve spent the last 10 years. And now, I’m back in my sunny Florida hometown. These experiences and places...

Keep Reading

I Will Be a Friend Who Prays

In: Faith, Friendship, Living

You mentioned it casually. They had found a lump in your breast again. You’ve been here before, and maybe that means you better know how to navigate it. Except how can we possibly know how to handle such things? What emotions lie hidden behind your words? You tossed out words like lumpectomy and biopsy as if you were sharing a grocery list. I don’t know you well yet, but as you spoke the words, I had a deep desire to let you know I’m sorry. Seated around the table that night, you asked us to pray for you. I committed...

Keep Reading

 5 Secrets to Connect with Your Kids

FREE EMAIL BONUS

Proven techniques to build REAL connections