Today was a long day . . . followed by several other long days with a few more long days in sight.
I’ve been reading Sacred Privilege by Kay Warren from my reading list. I am only a few chapters in but it has been such a blessing and encouragement. As a pastor’s wife, sometimes we have days that are awesome, riding on cloud nine. The church is growing, people are getting saved, the children are behaving, your relationship with your husband is AMAZING and life is just generally going good.
And then, LIFE.
Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned. -Romans 5:12
For some, it’s a church split or conflict in the church. It can be a direct verbal attack from a church member. It can be the children arguing and fighting or problems with your husband, even infidelity. A pastor’s family is still human after all. But some days . . . some days it’s just a long, hard day.
Today was one of those days.
As a child, I spent many days at hospitals and doctor’s appointments with my mother, and as an adult, I have a severe dislike of hospitals. As a pastor’s wife, hospital visits are not something I enjoy unless there is a newborn baby to snuggle, but I have learned to do them somewhat gracefully (I hope) with God’s help.
This week, my husband and I spent entirely too much time at the hospital. A member’s grandma underwent multiple surgeries but we praised God for His faithfulness in keeping her alive and saving one of her daughters in the process. God has always shown his faithfulness but sometimes we wonder why he does things the way he does.
Today was one such day. A couple in our church was married for 68 years. SIXTY EIGHT, y’all. Two VERY Godly people.
And then, a phone call.
She’s been taken to the ER by ambulance. She’s very weak and they don’t know why. My God did, but the doctors didn’t.
Today, I rushed to the hospital with my husband to stand by the side of this man, this servant of God, who had served God SO faithfully, for so many years as he sat in a wheelchair, not able to stand because of the strain, as the doctor went through the agonizing long list of things they had done to restart his wife’s heart. For 25 minutes they tried and they tried, some of them working to exhaustion keeping her heart pumping and air in her lungs before the doctors asked the husband what to do.
I stood beside him after listening to the doctor list all the steps they had gone through knowing that the life that laid before me in that bed, though physically there through the acts they performed, was spiritually with her Father in Heaven already. I gently whispered, “They’ve done everything.” And I watched as the doctors, nurses and support staff silently filed out and he gently held her hand, silently saying his goodbyes. My eyes leaked tears, I just couldn’t stop. This woman and Jesus were his world, and now they were both together. We were thankful and grateful but our hearts still hurt for the separation, temporary though it may be.
Today was a long day. Not every day is a long day and I praise God for the highs mixed in with the lows. After I left that hospital, I hugged my children tight and I gave my husband a reprieve from his constant doghouse status because today was not an ordinary day, but it wasn’t unusual either.
Ladies, hug your pastor’s wife. Men, love on your pastor. Because we see the worst parts somedays.
We see the troubled families, the death of children and spouses, the broken and lost people who feel like God is not there, and allow God to love that person through us no matter the cost to us.
And yet, despite the hard days . . . we’d do it all again for the moment we get to see someone meet Jesus or the light that goes on in someone’s eyes when they get saved.
It’s worth it. Every single hard, long day.