So God Made a Mother is Here! 🎉

The gel was cool on my belly. I looked at my husband apprehensively and he squeezed my hand. Our last pregnancy had ended in miscarriage. I was terrified something would be wrong with this one.

The ultrasound technician moved the wand, smearing the gel across my stomach. She looked over at us.

“Do twins run in your family?”

“No. Why?”

“They do now.”

My husband laughed. I cried. 

Twins? Seriously, no. Just no. There was no way in a gazillion years that I was capable of looking after two babies. At the same time. So no.

But God gave me twins.

Throughout my pregnancy I worried we were ruining our daughter’s life. That she would feel left out, a third wheel to her twin siblings. I was afraid my husband and I would never be able to do this on our own. I believed we would never know sleep again.

It didn’t help that I was bombarded throughout my pregnancy with well-meaning twin parents regaling me with every last one of their horror stories of life with twins. Or that the one “Twins and Triplets” meeting I attended was full of bleary-eyed parents guzzling coffee and scarfing down donuts like they hadn’t eaten in days. I was so traumatized I never went back.

I blamed my husband. He was already an amazing father to our daughter. I thought, if he was just a little less amazing, God never would have given us twins.

I blamed my genetics. Because apparently twins DO run in my family. That old wives tale about twins skipping a generation? I don’t care what they say, it’s true.

I blamed myself. For not being content with having just one child and wanting more.

I blamed God. For trusting that I was actually capable of being a good mother to twins. For giving me more than I was certain I could handle. I mean, what was He thinking? Clearly, he had me mistaken for someone else.

But really? I should have been thanking God. Because God gave me twins.

And I never knew I needed them until they were born.

I didn’t know my heart would grow two sizes the moment I saw them.

I didn’t know that in the midst of all the chaos and crying and walking-into-walls exhaustion, I would finally find peace. Weird, I know. I didn’t know the freedom I would gain in having to let go of perfection and accepting that doing what I could, in the moment I was in, was enough. 

I didn’t know I would worry less, not more. With my daughter, every new situation she enters on her own causes anxiety—mine. Will she be OK? Will she be accepted? Will she be scared? Lonely? For my twins? Not so much. For each new first—their first day of kindergarten, their first un-parented lesson, their first night away—my twins conquer them all, together. They are a team. A dynamic duo. They have each other’s backs, even on the days when they don’t particularly like each other. 

God gave me twins.

To help us recognize we are capable of doing things on our own but sometimes, it’s better to do things together. My husband and I became true partners in parenting and in our marriage.

Twins to remind me that as much as we may look the same, we are all created differently. Introvert and extrovert. Serious and comedian. Strong-willed and people pleaser. Risk taker and cautious. Lover and fighter. Rule maker and rule breaker. Wild and calm. Two peas in a pod? Yes. But decidedly different. They are unique in their characteristics, their personalities, their reactions, their feelings, the way they experience the world, and not one way is better than another.

Twins to teach me to see people for who they are and not the labels they are given.

God gave me twins. Twins to give me double the snuggles, double the cuddles, double the kisses, and double the love.

And twins to show me what we fear most can turn out to be our greatest blessing. 

You may also like:

The Painful, Joyful Reality of Watching Your Twins Grow Up

10 Things Parents Of Twins Should Know

Want more stories of love, family, and faith from the heart of every home, delivered straight to you? Sign up here! 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Heidi Hamm

Heidi Hamm is a writer, wife and mom of twin boys who are nothing alike, and their older sister, who won’t admit that she really does like 80s music. She loves bookstores, Starbucks and peanut butter. You can find her on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/heidihammwriter/

Look beyond the Labels for What You Don’t See

In: Kids, Motherhood
Three kids sitting on parents' laps smiling

I’ve always said that labeling someone with high- or low-functioning autism, or any disability for that matter, isn’t ever truly accurate. You may see an extremely smart girl who seems “normal” but you don’t see everything. You don’t see how the noises hurt her ears. You don’t see how the bright lights hurt her eyes. You don’t see how hard she struggles to fit in. You don’t see how she struggles to understand the social cues. You don’t see how seriously she takes what you say even if you’re joking. You don’t see the struggles when she’s having an overwhelming...

Keep Reading

When You Look Back on These Pictures, I Hope You Feel My Love

In: Kids, Motherhood
Four kids playing in snow, color photo

I document your life in pictures. I do it for you. I do it for me. I do it because I want you to know I lived every memory. And loved every moment. When you go back through the thousands of moments, I hope it sparks something deep inside of you. Something that perhaps your heart and mind had forgotten until that moment. And I hope that it makes you smile.  I hope the memories flood and you remember how much each moment was cherished.  I hope each giggle and secret that was shared with your sisters at that moment sparks...

Keep Reading

For the Parents of the Kids Who Don’t Fit the Mold

In: Kids, Motherhood
mom hugging her daughter

This one is for the parents of the kids who don’t fit the mold. I see you holding your kid together with nothing but love and a prayer as they cry or feel defeated and you wish the world would see your kid like you do. I see you wiping away their tears after they were yet again passed over for all the awards and accolades. There is no award for showing up for school despite crippling anxiety or remembering to write down assignments for the first year ever. So they had to sit clapping again for friends whose accomplishments...

Keep Reading

Let Your Kids See You Try and Fail

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and daughter sitting on floor knitting together

Let your kids see you try and fail at something. That’s what I did today!  My daughter wanted to take a knitting class together. I said sure, naively thinking the skill would come pretty naturally. I’m usually good at things like this.  Guess what? It didn’t. Although she picked it up easily and was basically a knitting pro within five minutes, the teacher kept correcting me, saying, “No, UNDER! You need to go UNDER, not OVER.” She was kind enough, but it just wasn’t clicking. I started to get frustrated with myself. I normally take things like this in stride...

Keep Reading

My Kids Don’t Like to Read, but They Do Love to Learn

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two children reading with each other, color photo

I fell in love with books during a war while my kids lost interest in reading during COVID. Between 1975 and 1990 during the Civil War in Lebanon, my mom, an avid reader, was determined to make me one despite many odds. Once every few weeks, starting when I was about 10, she and I would make the half-hour trek by foot from our apartment in Beirut to a place we called the “book cave.” It was a nondescript space—about 15 by 20 square feet—tucked in the basement of a dilapidated building. Inside, it housed hundreds of books in various...

Keep Reading

Dear Teachers, Thank You Will Never Be Enough

In: Kids, Living
Kids hugging teacher

Growing up a teacher’s daughter has given me a lifetime of appreciation for educators. Of course, it’s true; I may be biased. I’ve been fortunate to have learned and been guided by many outstanding teachers, including my mother and grandmother, who passed those legacy skills onto my daughter, who strongly feels teaching is her calling. But if you’ve had your eyes and ears open in recent years, you, too, probably feel deep gratitude for the angels among us who work in the school system. So, as the school year ends, and on behalf of parents, grandparents, and anyone who loves...

Keep Reading

Before You, Boy, I Never Knew

In: Kids, Motherhood
Three boys playing in creek, color photo

Before you, boy, I never knew that little boys could get so dirty. Play so rough. Climb so high. Assess your risks. Make me hold my breath. Messes everywhere.   Before you, boy, I never knew how much my lap will make room for you. My arms will stretch to swallow you up in endless hugs and just hold you close. And love you to the moon and back. And back again. Snuggling and snuggling.  RELATED: I Met a Boy and He Changed Everything Before you, boy, I never knew that there would be so much wrestling. And superheroes, and far-off...

Keep Reading

It Hurts Seeing My Kid as a B-List Friend

In: Friendship, Kids, Teen
Teen girl sitting alone on a dock

Kids everywhere are celebrating, or will be celebrating soon. They will be playing outside, enjoying warm summer days, bike rides with friends, and maybe even sleepovers. It’s summer—it’s fun, right? Sure, it is. And sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes it isn’t fun for the kids you least expect it from. We have that issue, and I knew it was building for the past few weeks with our teenage daughter. She was moody (moodier than normal). Short tempered. Obviously frustrated, but not ready to talk about it. But it was when she came home on the last day of school, in tears,...

Keep Reading

5 Money Tips to Set Your Kids Up for a Strong Financial Future

In: Grown Children, Kids, Motherhood, Teen
Father putting quarters in child's hand

As parents, we want to see our children become independent, but the transition to financial independence has unique challenges. I get it. I have three children of my own, and each of them deals with money differently. The transition can be especially difficult if you are a family that doesn’t talk openly about money. Regardless of whether money has been an open topic in the past, as your high school graduate moves on to the next chapter in their life, it’s important to help them start thinking about their financial future. College tuition, rent, and other expenses can be overwhelming...

Keep Reading

Dear Hunter’s Mom, What I Really Want to Say

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother holding toddler boy, color photo

Hi, I’m Krystal. I’ve wanted to say that every Tuesday and Thursday when I see you in the preschool hallway. I don’t know why I never say it. It might be because I’m afraid to. Maybe you just want to get the drop-off over with and get out of there. I get it. Hunter is crying . . . hard. People are looking . . . they always look. Your face is flushed, your jacket twisted. You are caught between trying to do what you are supposed to do and what you want to do. I can tell. I know...

Keep Reading