If there is one thing I think all of the motherless can understand and agree on, it is how hard the time leading up to Mother’s Day is. Sure, there are many difficult things we have to deal with regularly without our moms, but in my mind, there is no harder time than the period leading up to the worst day of the year.

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For the weeks leading up to it, everywhere you go is a shrine of the fact your mom has died. The stores are filled with advertisementsthey are on TV, on the radio, on ads all over the internet. There is literally no possible way to avoid them unless you completely isolate yourself from everyone and everything.

Normal days are hard, but these days seem to be the hardest.

It seems like for about a month, everything reminds you that you are the girl whose mom died, and it starts to seem like everyone in the world has a mom to celebrate except for you.

It’s a lonely time. Your friends and loved ones start to talk about their Mother’s Day plans or the gifts they have picked up. You want to contribute to the conversation and be happy for them, but for you, it is so hard.

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Even years later it is almost impossible to hold back the tears. The thought of another one of these days that your mom isn’t here for never seems to get easier.

If anything, they start to get more frustrating the longer you have had to live through these without her.

So you brace yourself for a day of avoiding the internet because let’s be real, it’s 2020 and everyone has an Instagram or a Facebook post honoring their mothers and how lucky they are to still have them and to spend this day with them. You can’t scroll through anything without getting emotional and realizing you will never have your mom here on a day like today.

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We spend weeks leading up to Mother’s Day dreading the worst day of the year. We wait for it to be over so we don’t have to think about this again, at least until this time next year.

Christie Lynn

I’m a 26 year old social worker and blogger using my words and experiences to help others though hardship, grief and mother loss.