So God Made a Mother is Here! 🎉

The death of a young person always takes my breath away; there is nothing more unnatural than a child or teen losing his or her life…especially if it’s unexpected. Last year, a 16-year-old at my son’s school died in a car accident; though I didn’t know him, I burst into tears at the news. I had this reaction because I know what every mother knows and tries to keep at bay: my child is not immune. His mother’s ache could one day be mine.

In addition to shock and grief when a young person dies, curiosity quickly comes into play in the community in which they lived. Precisely because it’s so unnatural to lose such a young person, one can’t help but just want answers and ask “why?

One loving aunt, knowing this was the response from her community to the death of her 19-year-old nephew Gunner Bundrick of Prescott Valley, Arizona, took to Facebook to explain how and why Gunner died on November 3rd of this year. In her now-viral post, with over 1 million (yep, 1 million) shares, Gunner’s aunt Brandi Bundrick Nishnick poured out her broken heart, explaining not only how Gunner died, but begging parents to do their very best to keep their own kids from the same tragic fate.

gunner bundrick
Gunner Bundrick, Courtesy Brandi Bundrick Nishnick via Facebook

First, Brandi thanks everyone for their concern for her family and acknowledges that she knows everyone is curious about Gunner’s death for the right reasons. She says,

“As most of you know, we lost my nephew, Gunner, on November 3rd. While I will say it was totally unexpected and shocking, I don’t know that anyone could ever be prepared for this kind of pain.

I have been wanting to send a message or write something so everyone can understand what happened- I know people are curious and mostly for the right reasons. I know most of you are truly concerned for me and my family. I appreciate that.”

Nishnick then goes on to say that while sharing the circumstances of Gunner’s death are painful, she knows that she must for three main reasons: to remind everyone what a great kid Gunner was, to clear up any misunderstandings or misconceptions, and because Gunner’s story could save another teen’s life.

Did you read that last line? This is where the mamas really need to start paying attention. Courageously, Brandi lays out the heart-wrenching details. I will give you her own words here, so nothing is misconstrued:

“Gunner went out with friends on Friday night.

They came back to my brothers house late and stayed up eating pizza and playing video games- like most 19 year old boys do.

At some point during the evening, Gunner, and his friend, took a pill stamped Percocet. The very popular and easily accessible pain killer.

Gunner has no history of drug use, has never been a “problem child”, was a star athlete, wonderful son and brother and was extremely loved in his community.

We don’t know why he decided to take “a pill” that night. The only thing we can assume is that the curiosity of knowing what the “high” is like came into play? Again, we can only assume.

His friend also took a pill.

Both boys died what we think was pretty immediately. Both went to sleep and never woke up. -That’s the most positive thing in Gunner’s whole story- that he felt no pain & didn’t suffer. (Although, positive is a generous way of putting it).

My sister in law, his mother, found both boys the next morning. She, and my nieces, tried to resuscitate to no avail. Both boys had been dead for hours and there was nothing they, or the paramedics could do.”

 

Oh my word, Mamas, did your heart just not completely crack in two? Scratch that, in a million pieces?? The reason this particular teen death was so shocking as well as tragic is that no one saw it coming. He was a good kid who made a bad choice—a single bad choice—and it’s the last one he ever had the chance to make.

Gunner’s aunt goes on to reiterate this point, and tell you why those pills killed Gunner and his friend. She does it in such a powerful way that again, I’ll give you her un-filtered words:

“The pills Gunner and his friend took were at the very least laced with fentanyl. We are still waiting on reports but there is a good chance it was more then 50% fentanyl. That’s enough poison to kill 10 adult males. According to the detective working on Gunner’s case, to draw comparison for perspective, 2 grains of table salt size of fentanyl will kill any adult.
 
Think about that. 
 
Gunner never had a chance.

I’m sharing Gunner’s story because Gunner had a whole life ahead of him. He had goals and aspirations. He wanted to be a dad. He wanted to continue to play football and baseball in college. He wanted to go hunting and fishing with this grandpa. Gunner wasn’t done.

One bad choice, one stupid minor mistake was all it took. 

Gunner never had a chance.

It’s very natural to be curious and want to “experiment” with things at Gunner’s age. Remember when we were in HS and kids considered experimenting with cigarettes?? It’s a different time now. Kids are experimenting with pills because they think they’re safe. They’ve seen them in their parents medicine cabinets from their moms car accident last year or from when their dad threw out his back. They seem harmless.

These aren’t the pills in your parents medicine cabinet. They are made in someone’s garage who is trying to make a buck…a buck at the expense of our children’s lives.

THERE CAN BE NO EXPERIMENTING. 

None.

It’s truly a matter of life or death.

You can’t see fentanyl. You can’t smell fentanyl.
 
Tell your kids Gunner’s story. Show them his picture. I can’t describe the amount of pain my brother, sister-in-law and Gunner’s sisters are going through- a pain that will NEVER end. A hole that will NEVER be filled. A life that will never be brought back. A beautiful life.
Gone forever.” ?
 
 
Her words hit me hard, especially when she said “Show them his picture.” So,that is exactly what I did as soon as I read Brandi’s post. I called my 14-year-old over to my computer and had him read all about Gunner and his friend, and I told him, as Brandi said, “There can be no experimenting.” My son is young, and he is timid; a rule-follower to the core. But far be it from me to assume that he will never be faced with this same kind of choice, never be assured that something is “safe” that could ultimately kill him, never reach out, in a desperate moment, for something that might numb his pain.
 
Far be it from me to have “not my kid syndrome.” Because my sweet, obedient rule-follower is not immune to making one bad choice, and neither is yours.
 
My son read it, and when he was done, he said, “I get it, Mom.” And I believe that he did. But in Gunner’s memory, I’ll have a similar talk with him again, and again. Because sadly, Gunner and his friend weren’t the first, and won’t be the last to die this way— and these conversations with our kids about drugs cannot be a “one and done,” either.
 
Show them his picture, Mamas. It might just save your child’s life.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Jenny Rapson

Jenny Rapson is a follower of Christ, a wife and mom of three from Ohio and a freelance writer and editor. You can find her at her blog, Mommin' It Up, or follow her on Twitter.
 

It’s the Flower Food Packet that Hurts

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Flowers on a headstone

It’s the flower food packet that gets you. That little plastic packet with the powder that keeps your flowers alive longer. The little packet you know you’ll never use because these flowers aren’t going in a vase. They’re going on the ground. RELATED: The Impossible Grief of Child Loss Hurts Forever Buying flowers for my baby’s grave is a normal process for me. Every so often, and especially around the time of year we lost our boy, I grab a bunch at our local grocer. I lay them carefully on top of where his very tiny body was laid to...

Keep Reading

How Do You Say Goodbye to Your Mother?

In: Grief, Loss
Sad woman sitting on edge of bed

Sitting at a McDonald’s table in Charleston, SC, I looked down at my ill-fitting shirt and shorts. Stress had taken its toll, and most of my clothes now hung off me. I should have worn something else I thought, but how do you pick out an outfit for saying goodbye to your mother? I reached up and felt my earrings. They were hers and seemed right. That was something at least.   Within the hour, my family and I would come together to take my mom off life support. It was Good Friday and I managed to secure an Episcopal priest...

Keep Reading

This Is How to Show Up for a Friend Who Has Cancer

In: Cancer, Friendship, Living
Bald woman during cancer treatments and same woman in remission, color photo

One moment I was wrestling with my toddler and rocking my 3-month-old to sleep, and the next I was staring blankly at the doctor who just told me I had stage four cancer that had metastasized from my uterus to my left lung and spleen. “Well, I didn’t see that coming,” I smiled at the young doctor who had clearly never given this kind of news to anyone before. I looked over at my husband’s shell-shocked face as he rocked our baby back and forth in the baby carrier because I was still nursing, and we knew we’d be at...

Keep Reading

All I Have Left Are Dreams of My Mother

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Mother holding infant, older color photo

I had a dream about my mom last night. It’s rare when this happens but last night’s dream was unlike any I’ve ever experienced. I was at a party, and she just walked in. It was so vivid. She sat down in a chair, looking so beautiful, so young, her eyes so very blue. She was so full of light, something I hadn’t seen in a while. I just looked at her, stunned, and gasped. I said, “Are you here? Are you real?” I couldn’t believe this was happening. Just like that she got up, grabbed me, and hugged me...

Keep Reading

I Miss the Little Moments with My Mom the Most

In: Grief, Grown Children, Loss
Woman sitting on floor by couch looking sad

You think it’s going to be the big holidays that are hard. The first Thanksgiving without her. The first Christmas. Maybe even her birthday. But it’s not the big days that bring you to your knees. It’s all the little moments in between. It’s cooking a family recipe and not being able to call her to ask a question about the directions. It’s looking down and realizing you’re using the Tupperware you stole from her and knowing you can’t return it even if you wanted to. RELATED: My Mom is Never Coming Back To Get Her Shoes It’s talking about...

Keep Reading

“It Can Wait.” What I’ve Learned about Doing Too Much after My Mom Died Young

In: Grief
Family posed for photo outside

My mom died at the age of 45. Yes, just 45.  Around Mother’s Day, the reality of just how young she was hits me hard. As a mother of two young boys, I’m evaluating my own motherhood journey and in the absence of my mom, trying to give myself some sound advice for this next year.  My mom was a family doctor. She got her MD at the University of Pennsylvania and a Master’s from Johns Hopkins University. Brilliant, most would say. She was in generally good health, petite, never smoked, never had more than a glass or two of...

Keep Reading

Time Doesn’t Make Mother’s Day Hurt Any Less

In: Grief, Grown Children, Living
Grave stone that says "mother" with a yellow flower

I’ve been in this motherless daughter club for over a decade now. Most of the time, that still seems strange to say out loud. I’m far from the firsts without my mom. However, what I have learned, is that there are certain experiences, certain days, and certain moments that you can’t put a timeframe on. These are the times that hurt for so much longer than just that initial grief period. Big moments without my mom—anniversaries, birthdays, special days—but the one I like to believe weighs the most and hits the hardest year after year is Mother’s Day. RELATED: Mother’s...

Keep Reading

Can You Hear the Silent Cry of Bereaved Postpartum Mothers?

In: Baby, Grief, Loss
Crib in nursery

Trigger warning: post discusses death and loss The cool air shocked my sweltering face as I walked into the doors of Old Navy. My husband kept his hand on my back to remind me he was still with me amidst the summer hustle that was buzzing in the store. We were there for a shirt. A single shirt.  An embarrassing want that I was calling a need. I thought I would actually laugh at the situation once I got out of the house for the first time in a week.  Seven days before, I was lying on my back in...

Keep Reading

I’m Happy for You But I’m Still Grieving: Remarriage after Loss

In: Grief, Grown Children, Loss, Marriage
Coupe holding hands at wedding, close up black and white image

“I take you for my lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death does us part.” Remarriage is beautiful and redemptive. Remarriage proves that second chances are possible and that love doesn’t come in one specific shape or size. Remarriage is the embrace of hope as much as it is of love. Remarriage shows that love is still possible through heartbreak. But let’s face it, when you aren’t the one remarrying, remarriage can be a little awkward. Add in that you are the progeny...

Keep Reading

On the Days I Miss You Most

In: Grief, Loss
Toddler girl at cemetery, color photo

Holidays. Birthdays. The day they physically left us. These are the ones that hit the hardest—the toughest days. But they are also the expected ones, which makes it just the slightest bit more manageable. It’s the ones you don’t see coming that absolutely break you. The ones that come from way out in leftfield and hit you like a ton of bricks. The ones that force you to grieve all over again, something you never thought you would have to do. It’s when my daughter is happily sitting in a church pew reading her prayers when I wish they were...

Keep Reading