One day it would be the last time I was going to see her and I didn’t even know it.

One day it would be the last phone call and I wouldn’t even know it.

One day it would be the last time I would hear her voice or feel her hugs and I didn’t even know it.

One day it would be the last time I wouldn’t have to struggle to remember how it felt to walk in her front door or sit on her back porch with her by my side.

One day would be the last time I would walk out her front door and get to turn around to see her waving bye one last time and I wouldn’t even know it.

One day would be the last time I could take a picture with her in it or get a card in the mail from her and I didn’t even know it

One day it would be the last time I would get to dial her number and have her answer the phone and I wouldn’t even know it.

One day it would be the last time I could say ”Come meet my mom” and I didn’t even know it.

One day it would be the last time I could tell her ”I’ll see you tomorrow” and I didn’t even realize that tomorrow would never come.

One day it would be the last day that I would ever see my mom again this side of Heaven and I didn’t even know it.

One day become that last day for all of those things, all on different days, at different times and I didn’t even know it.

Then one day I remembered that before all those lasts were a whole lot of firsts and memories that were made in between. Before those lasts there was laughter and joy and that is where my mom lived and that is where I’ll choose to keep her memory alive.

Originally published on Grief To Hope with Nikki Pennington

 

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Nikki Pennington

Nikki is a stay at home mom to three, high spirited boys. Three years ago she became a motherless daughter after losing her own mom to terminal brain cancer. When she is not playing the role of referee for the boys, she spends her days trying to encourage and inspire others that are on the grief journey. Read more from Nikki on her blog: http://www.grieftohope.blogspot.com/