Don’t forget to check in on the mama.

Everyone always asks in the first few weeks, “How are you feeling?” (implying they’re inquiring as to her physical health). And usually (at that point), her only response is, “I’m tired.” 

And yes, her body has been ripped open and she’s in pain. Yes, she’s sleeping only an hour here and there every night, and yes, she’s probably stressed about her milk coming in and if the baby is eating enough. She’s physically been through it all, and in a matter of hours or days. 

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But what about her emotions? She’s a hormonal mess, that’s for sure. She’s overwhelmed with love for this new little life she’s made, and yet, she’s mourning what once was. Or she’s grieving the birth experience she had longed for. Maybe she’s even emotional that her other children are no longer babies anymore. 

And what about her mental health? Those hormones not only take a toll on her emotions, but they’re on a rampage with her brain too. Postpartum depression and/or anxiety could rear their ugly heads at any moment. They may have already, and she’s in denial, claiming she just needs more sleep and she’ll feel better. 

The doctor may have deemed her “healed” at 6-8 weeks postpartum, but let’s be honest, her healing takes months. And she’s juggling the new reality of being either a new mom or a mom of multiples.

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She’s stressed. She’s exhausted. She’s drained. And she’s full of doubt in herself. 

So when you ask to come over to see the baby, don’t forget about her. And (maybe) instead, ask to help with her other kids. Ask to throw in a load of laundry for her or take care of the dishes that are piled up in the sink. Don’t just ask to hold the baby, offer to hold the baby so she can nap. 

And don’t forget to check in on the mama. Because she needs you to.

Originally published on the author’s Facebook page