Dear husband,

I’m insane. And I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the four kids, maybe it’s the mess, or maybe it’s the work I’m supposed to do but don’t. 

Just know, I feel a little out of sorts and overwhelmed by the repetitive, mundane tasks I have. I’m not sure how to make it better.

But there are some things you do that make me feel really good, so if you say these things to me, I’m yours forever.

I know you worry about “reading my mind,” so I put together an easy guide. Really, I want to be easy, but the job I have is hard and sometimes sucks, so I’m difficult even when I don’t want to be.

Any way you interpret it, it would mean so much if you would say these things to me.

I’ll cook dinner. Do you have a recipe you want me to make? 

I will do the dishes. I’ll even clean and wipe the sink out after I’m done. And not like Homer Simpson. Really, I want to take this chore off your plate.

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I came home on time so you could go to yoga. I know how much you love it. 

I put a $50 credit on your Amazon account. 

I will take the kids to the movies—without you—so you can have a quiet afternoon.

I’ll give you a foot rub. (Oh. My. Word. Is this anyone else’s love language? We need to make this one a category of its own!) 

I got a babysitter. I’m taking you out!

You’re nothing like your mother.

I’ll fold my own clothes. (Oh man, I hate folding your clothes. When we got married, please realize that I inherited a lot more work than I bargained for. Folding your own clothes—or those of our children and actually separating out the right sizes—is going to make me love you more.)

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Hey honey, I’m taking you to Saint Lucia! (If you budget and plan a vacation I’ve dreamed about for years, not to mention, found someone to watch our kids and surprise me with it—I will die and go to Heaven.) 

I will support you, no matter what you choose. 

I can’t believe how hard you work. You really impress me. 

I’m grateful for your faith and how you bring light into our home. 

I love that you work so hard to create a welcome, inviting home. 

Yes, I would like to go visit your family. 

I cleaned the toilet. 

I registered the kids for school. 

I made a doctor’s appointment for the kids’ yearly checkups. 

I applied for that promotion. Taking care of the family is important to me.  

If our kids turn out like you, there’s no stopping them!

I know you’d rather say, “Hey Sexy, let’s go get nekkid!” But sometimes, the things I find sexiest are the ones that take some of the mental and physical load away from me. If you do that, you will make me bloom again, I promise!  

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You’ll notice there aren’t any corny pick-up lines or surface-level compliments. Most women I know love a man with substance and love him for what he does and not for what he says. If you want to give a compliment, think of something nice and mean it. 

You have no idea how much I need you. Really, I’m overwhelmed, and I need you to take over. 

Thank you for sticking around even when I am a grumpy mom. Thank you for saying these things to me and making my life better.

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Alene Laney

I am an LEO wife and mother of four fort-building couch ninjas. On a mission to spread empathy throughout the world! Come on over to my personal finance and travel hacking blog to say hi. Https://