I'm the Old Mom Now - Her View From Home

A Gift for Mom! 🤍

In the past six months, the moms have grown younger.

Walking into my local library for the first time in six months since COVID-19, I found myself curiously watching a female with three young children whizzing around her side. The youngest, a tiny, tow-headed toddler boy, giggled up at the large grandfather clock. “Tick-tock. Tick-tock.” Curly locks combed neatly into place, he grinned up at me, his eyes inviting me into his excitement.

Yes, the little one was certainly darling, but honestly, it was the female with them who intrigued me.

She was cute in her trendy dress, something only someone young could pull off so casually. Her long, blond hair flowed around her. I covertly watched her youthful face for clues as to her age. Is she an older sister? A babysitter?

Or could she be . . . the mom? No way!

It dawned on me watching her interact with the children that no babysitter would show that much interest in all of the children. She spoke slowly and patiently, encouraging their excitement to bubble forth in delight. Yes, as much as I couldn’t believe it, this was the mom.

Wow.

RELATED: To the Mama In Her 20s

I chalked up her appearance to the fact that this mom had won the youth gene lottery.

She’s young. Tiny. Beautiful hair. She dresses so stylishly. That’s OK. There are always a few lucky ones in life.

Clutching my library books, I walked to check out. Another mom strolled toward me, accompanied by a grade school girl in a plaid-skirt uniform. Watching their whispers, it struck me, yet again, how young THIS mom looked.

What is happening to the moms since COVID-19? Why do they all look about 17 years old now? I know I haven’t been around many people, but goodness, why have the mom’s aged backward? And all of a sudden, at that moment standing in the library, my pile of books ready to topple, it hit me.

I am the OLD MOM.

I’m now the mom who I used to think was old in my younger years. The mom who can’t compete with these young women. The mom who never looked THAT good at their age. The mom with laugh lines donning her eyes. The mom who wished she could desperately go back and start all over again.

RELATED: I’m the Oldest Mom at Preschool, and I’m (Mostly) OK With That

Here I am—my fourth and final child now in the ninth grade. High school. I look up to him instead of him looking up to me. I have one married and out of the house, one new postgrad happy to have found a job during COVID season, and a sophomore in college.

What is there still for me?

I can look back at more memories of motherhood in my past than I can see in the last four years before I officially become an empty nester. Empty nester. Suddenly, I hate that word. Do I still matter among the dewy, young moms busy wiping snotty noses, acting out picture books, and walking fresh-faced first graders into their new school year?

Do I have worth if I’m not that cute, perky mom anymore?

My mind travels to an old memory that seems so recent. When I was a brand-new mom, a lactation consultant came to help me, bringing over her own 3-month-old nursling. Over the course of that year, we forged a friendship, she only living a few blocks from me.

RELATED: Advice From An Old Mom To All The New Moms: Here’s What You Need To Know

I remember my amazement that a 23-year-old woman could have a 40-year-old fellow mother friend. I loved that she was older, wiser, and could share life with me. Her presence was a source of comfort in my weariness, a place to ask my questions, and an encouragement I wasn’t messing it up.

She encouraged me to give myself a break.

Somehow over the course of a million moments, the age has snuck up on that 23-year-old young mom, and now I am that mom, who is just on the edge of 50. Where did the time go? The younger women have now taken my place.

It appears that now it’s my turn to be on a new side of the equation—a chance for me to be that kind of friend to younger moms.

Can I connect with these young moms without insecurity—you look better, your skin is smoother, you can dress nicer, you get a chance to do it all without mistakes—but rather, in support and in love?

Friendship shouldn’t know any age barrier. It didn’t then and it shouldn’t now.

So, I ask myself . . .

Can I reach out to be the kind of beautiful friend that was offered to me as a young mom?

It’s my turn.

The torch has been passed.

Will I take it?

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Aleisha Cate

Hi, my name is Aleisha Cate. I am a wife to my wonderful husband and mom to four awesome boys. I love encouraging women that God never wastes a hurt in our lives. You can find me on my website at www.shelivesingrace.com.

I Came Home With a Baby—and Lost Myself

In: Motherhood

I don’t think people truly believe me when I say I came back from the depths of hell after having my son. Birth is often portrayed as pure bliss. The moment a mother holds her baby and instantly falls in love. Life quickly returns to normal. Even in real life, new moms can look like they’ve settled into motherhood with ease. But what no one talks about is the ugly, incredibly hard side of it. Not every mom experiences postpartum depression, anxiety, or OCD. For some, it really is bliss. But for many of us, it becomes a fight for...

Keep Reading

He Doesn’t Always Need Me Anymore and I’m Not Sure How To Feel About It

In: Motherhood

Little boy playing with toys on the floor alone

There is a moment nobody warns you about. Not the sleepless nights. Not the feeding schedules. Not the endless cycle of laundry and worry that comes with keeping a tiny human alive. Those parts everyone mentions. The part nobody mentions is the moment you realize your child has started becoming his own person. And you are standing there watching it happen, equal parts proud and completely unprepared. My son is two years old. And lately he has been leaving the room. Not in a concerning way. In a he has somewhere to be kind of way. He will be in...

Keep Reading

We Keep Calling Her Confident, But She Doesn’t Trust Herself

In: Motherhood

I remember the exact moment it hit me. I was talking to a young girl, the kind everyone praises. She was polite, well spoken, respectful. The kind of girl people point to and say, “She’s so confident.” So I asked her a question I knew would reveal more than her smile ever could: “What do you do when something doesn’t feel right?” She froze. Not in a dramatic way, but in a quiet, almost invisible way. She looked down, shifted her weight, then looked back up at me, searching my face like the answer might be written there. Because she...

Keep Reading

I Knew Something Was Wrong, But No One Listened—And It Almost Cost Me My Daughter

In: Motherhood

After the traumatic birth of my daughter, I searched for others who had experienced vasa previa, but most of what I found were support groups for stillbirth. It’s easy to understand why; vasa previa is one of the most preventable causes of stillbirth, and yet most people, including most pregnant women, have never heard of it. My daughter is almost three years old, and I still carry a complicated guilt about that: why did we get to be the lucky ones? I want to share my story—not to frighten you, but because awareness is the only thing that saves lives...

Keep Reading

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

In: Motherhood

For most of my life, I believed becoming a stay-at-home mom wasn’t just a choice, it was the ultimate goal. The kind of life a “good” woman was meant to want. The kind of life that meant you were doing things right. I grew up surrounded by that message. In conservative spaces, in church circles, in subtle conversations about what a “real” mother looked like. Women who stayed home were praised. Women who didn’t were quietly questioned. I learned, without ever being directly told, that a mother’s highest purpose was to center her entire world around her children and her...

Keep Reading

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

In: Motherhood, Teen

I was not prepared to be a mother of teenagers. Sure, I was warned by other parents about the difficult journey I was about to embark on, but I did not expect it to be this challenging. I remember these two sweet, innocent children who wanted to be with me all the time. Now they barely give me the time of day. How did we get here? Like many parents, we long to have that child who once, a long time ago, called us Mommy and Daddy and begged us to read them another story. Where are those kids I...

Keep Reading

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood

Praying for My Son Send a storm to stop him; Let his friends throw him out. May he drop to the deeps, But gently, please, Stubborn though he may be. If it could only take three days, How my mother’s heart would Rejoice in praise. From the hell you allow him, Let him cry to you. Is not Nineveh and mercy Exactly what he knows He needs— A mercy on enemies He fears You will concede? Please let all the shade wither If his is an angry soul; Humble him and help him follow Where you would have his purpose...

Keep Reading

To the Mom Worrying She’s Not Doing Enough This Summer

In: Motherhood

It’s only the second week of summer, and, thanks to modern-day social media, I feel like I’ve already seen it all. Picture-perfect beach getaways, color-coded bucket lists, backyard neighborhood movie nights, you name it. And if I’m being honest, I’ve already caught myself wondering if I’m doing enough. More than once, at that. As a solo mom of two, I’m still adjusting to our new norm while trying desperately to delicately let go of any expectations tied to all of our past experiences…including summer vacations. I’m reminding myself that our summers won’t look like they used to. At least not...

Keep Reading

Your Worth As a Mother Is Not Defined By How You Feed Your Baby

In: Baby, Motherhood

I’m not breastfeeding my baby. I wanted to. And I was able to for the first several weeks of her life. But as the days went on, I could tell it wasn’t enough for her anymore, so we started supplementing. And sure enough, without warning, she began screaming through nursing sessions, but was satisfied with a bottle. And that’s when I knew what I needed to do. A similar situation also happened with my first. She didn’t gain her birth weight back on my milk alone, so I had no choice but to supplement right away. And before I knew...

Keep Reading

A Mother’s Love Doesn’t End When Her Kids Move Out

In: Motherhood

When my last sibling moved out of the house, I watched my mom struggle in a quiet, almost unspoken way. It wasn’t something dramatic or visible; it was something I could feel in her presence. For 40 years, her life had revolved around taking care of us—my siblings and me. Every season of her life had been shaped around our needs, our schedules, our milestones, and our growing up. Being a mom wasn’t just something she did. It was who she was—the structure of her days, the cadence of her thoughts, and the center of her purpose. So when the...

Keep Reading

I Need You To Know That Even Though My Child is Invisible, I Am Still a Mother

Grief

I Need You To Know That Even Though My Child is Invisible, I Am Still a Mother

I Thought Our Friendship Would Be Unbreakable

Friendship

I’m the Old Mom Now

Or could she be . . . the mom? No way!

RELATED: To the Mama In Her 20s

I am the OLD MOM.

RELATED: I’m the Oldest Mom at Preschool, and I’m (Mostly) OK With That

Do I have worth if I’m not that cute, perky mom anymore?

RELATED: Advice From An Old Mom To All The New Moms: Here’s What You Need To Know

It appears that now it’s my turn to be on a new side of the equation—a chance for me to be that kind of friend to younger moms.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Aleisha Cate

I Came Home With a Baby—and Lost Myself

He Doesn’t Always Need Me Anymore and I’m Not Sure How To Feel About It

We Keep Calling Her Confident, But She Doesn’t Trust Herself

I Knew Something Was Wrong, But No One Listened—And It Almost Cost Me My Daughter

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

To the Mom Worrying She’s Not Doing Enough This Summer

Your Worth As a Mother Is Not Defined By How You Feed Your Baby

A Mother’s Love Doesn’t End When Her Kids Move Out

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

I’m the Old Mom Now

Or could she be . . . the mom? No way!

I am the OLD MOM.

Do I have worth if I’m not that cute, perky mom anymore?

It appears that now it’s my turn to be on a new side of the equation—a chance for me to be that kind of friend to younger moms.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

I Came Home With a Baby—and Lost Myself

He Doesn’t Always Need Me Anymore and I’m Not Sure How To Feel About It

We Keep Calling Her Confident, But She Doesn’t Trust Herself

I Knew Something Was Wrong, But No One Listened—And It Almost Cost Me My Daughter

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

To the Mom Worrying She’s Not Doing Enough This Summer

Your Worth As a Mother Is Not Defined By How You Feed Your Baby

A Mother’s Love Doesn’t End When Her Kids Move Out

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like