I’m a mom of four little ones. Enough said. Actually, there’s much more to me than the children that label my amazing vocation called motherhood, but for the good of my family, and society, I spend mostly every waking minute thinking, playing, and working with my children. It isn’t an easy job, but I honestly wouldn’t give it up for anything in this world. Yet, a long hot shower alone without any little ones knocking or tattle-tale screams from the other side of the door sounds quite tempting right now. More than a warm shower, I could really use a cup of hot coffee that didn’t have to be warmed up several times – the small things we give up for children. But these little sacrifices are exactly what motherhood is made of and what molds us into some of the best mothers that walk the earth. It’s whether or not we are willing to accept these personal sacrifices and for most of us, we are willing to accept anything thrown our way for the sake of our children.
The internet is flooded with articles about removing the “filters” and to stop “faking fine” and I whole-heartedly agree that our world has an unrealistic haze, but it isn’t completely bad either. Our mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers had their own types of “filters” as they chose to make the best of their lives. There were plenty of tough days alongside the happy ones, but the only difference is that we have social media to overexpose the “filtered” lives of our friends, family, and even strangers. Generations ago, mothers were never concerned about the next Instagram image to post or whether their political views might infuriate half of their Facebook “friends.” But we live in quite a different world now. We can either accept the “filters” and understand what lies behind them or we can spend the rest of our lives complaining about our imperfect lives.
I personally appreciate the blogs and Instagram accounts that don’t have perfectly edited pictures. I value the “real” moments of family life with the smiles, laughter, and even occasional melt-downs. But all too often we see the “stop faking fine” pictures. The photos where mothers are trying to prove their imperfections, but honestly, it’s not necessary. We all have imperfections. I don’t need to see your messy laundry room each morning as you walk away with your cup of coffee with no intention of cleaning it. Instead, I appreciate a mom who owns her messy laundry room, but gives useful ideas for organizing the space. This is real life.
Motherhood isn’t meant to be an outlet to prove our imperfections, but an opportunity to grow as women. There are very few other vocations/careers that will make you humble, proud, ready to cry, and angry from a person who is a third of your height all within a thirty minute period. So, instead of only proving imperfections, let’s work to overcome them. Every now and again, it’s okay to pretend that everything is fine. As mothers, we have one of the toughest jobs, so let’s become role models for all who observe us, especially our children – the next generation. And remember, that sometimes, it’s okay to pretend that everything is “fine” for our own sanity. The messy laundry room or dirty dishes don’t always have to be the center of our stories to prove our credibility, because sometimes it’s okay to “fake fine” for the sake of our sanity.

Danielle Silva

Danielle Marie Heckenkamp is a stay at home mom and freelance writer who lives in the beautiful state of Wisconsin with her husband and four children. Danielle Marie is the co-author of Provocative Manners: The Sauce of Life, a book about common sense and manners. She is working to complete her first novel. Danielle Marie’s entrepreneurial spirit has led to owning and operating several small businesses in the past 10 years (a floral company, an art studio, and a not for profit), but with the birth of baby number four, she is now focusing more on family life. Danielle Marie spends any small coveted moment of quiet, which are pretty rare, writing about her passions: children, motherhood, marriage, and cooking. You can read more of her articles at http://www.daniellesilvaheckenkamp.com/