Judge Suggests Rape Victim Should Have "Just Kept Her Knees Together"

A Gift for Mom! 🤍

The character of the victim. That is what was being questioned in the rape case of a 19-year old Canadian woman who was “raped over a bathroom sink during a house party” in 2014. (CNN News) Federal Court Judge Robin Camp aimed multiple comments during the trial at the victim in a lackluster effort to pin blame on her inability to keep the rapist off of her.

Wait?!! She is supposed to keep the rapist from forcing himself onto her? Or rather, in his own words, she should have been able to “skew her pelvis” or push her bottom into the sink to avoid penetration.”

Well, ladies and gents, this guy just answered the question that everyone for centuries has been wondering: Just how DO women get raped?

I think it’s time we look at the definition of this hell of a word to really understand just what women have been doing wrong all these years. Prepare your mind to be blown!

Rape (per Webster himself) is “an act or instance of robbing or despoiling or carrying away a person by force; unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female.”

So, clearly, what we are looking at here is the issue of whether or not a woman should or should not ALLOW a man to force himself onto her or inside of her.

Is anyone else throwing up in their mouths a little bit at this completely sexist (and criminal) expectation of women?

Ladies, we apparently need to work on our fighting skills and carry a weapon on us at all times for those unexpected yet more likely than ever possibilities that a man can’t control where he thrusts his penis. I forgot, (and girls, let this be a lesson to you as well) that those little guys have a mind of their own. So, we shouldn’t blame them should we? They can’t help it after all.

But we, vulnerable women of all colors, shapes, and sizes, WE must “keep (our) knees together” as the judge so vividly told the victim in the courtroom.

So here’s what I learned from this deplorable case (and hopefully the judge is also learning a few things in his judicial council hearing):

Getting drunk is fine and all for a group of guys at a frat party (cause it’s male bonding) but for a woman it’s reckless and could be misinterpreted as an invitation to have sex. Even Judge Camp says, “Young wom[e]n want to have sex, particularly if they’re drunk.” We should know better shouldn’t we? It’s funny how women are being held responsible for the actions of men (and have been for decades) yet men get acquitted for their actions because the woman’s drunkenness shows poor character.
Be very careful to only accuse the man who raped you if you are sure that what he did was rape. After all, we women don’t know (without being told by a man) what should or should not be done to our bodies without our consent. Don’t we know by now (think Brock Turner) that women are merely here to give men pleasure? And if we are intoxicated or unconscious even, how are we really supposed to remember just what he did? Don’t you worry your pretty little heads about the inebriated state of the rapist, however. That’s his business and his business alone.
Times, they are a’changin’. We can’t wear the things we used to wear back in the “olden days” because we just may find ourselves being mistreated by a man. In fact, being modest, in all of its 1950’s glory sure did a whole lot to deter men from putting their hands on the classically dressed woman. Let’s be sure to take a lesson from her and change our fashion ways- less dresses, more pants. Less red lipstick, more neutral shades. Come on girls, less is more!

With a heavy heart and a few razor blades in my back pocket, I come to you with a plea on behalf of women everywhere. DON’T LET THEM KEEP YOU DOWN. We can’t sit back and take it anymore in fear that we will be shamed or blamed. Those two words are overused and overrated. We women know who to call when we need a favor. Her name is Karma…and if I remember correctly, she’s a gal with a big ol’ attitude (a certain cuss word comes to mind) that has no problem making things right.

Image courtesy CNN

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Harmony Vuycankiat

Harmony's heart’s cry is to love without limits and live without regrets. Her faith in God has been the driving force of her life, leading her to work in the slums of the Philippines, the red light district of South Korea and on the streets of impoverished communities in America. Her four children are her favorite humans and she has been blessed to learn so much from them. She is drawn to writing that is life-giving, soul-healing and faith-building. She believes that hope is the anchor of the soul and desires to point others to this Truth. Writing, singing, and walking are her favorite methods of therapy and she's a nerd for all things nutrition.

She Was the Glue That Held Our Family Together

In: Grief

They say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. I found that to be most true when my grandma passed. Like many grandmas, she was the best. She was kind and tender, but firm when she needed to be. She gave her time freely and used her baking talent to bless others. She had little and needed little, yet she had a way of drawing people together. There wasn’t a day I can remember when someone didn’t call her or stop by. She seemed to have all the answers and somehow knew how to fix almost any problem....

Keep Reading

My Parents Will Never See This Face

In: Grief

Woman with sunglasses shown in rear view mirror

You’ve had that moment, right? That moment when you don’t recognize the woman standing in front of you. Her hair is grayer. The skin around her eyes is a bit darker. Even without noticing the small details, that face is different. It’s aged. And as I stared at her yesterday afternoon, all dolled up and nowhere to go, it dawned on me: My parents will never see this version of me. My mom will never get to see hands that look like hers. She’ll never recognize the wrinkles or the sun spots. My father-in-law joked about gray hair with my...

Keep Reading

The Due Date that Never Comes

In: Grief, Loss, Miscarriage

It is not often talked about. I completely understand why, but when going through something so heartbreaking and devastating, women shouldn’t have to suffer alone or in silence. If you’ve gone through it, you probably already know what I’m referring to – miscarriage. It is the reason many couples don’t tell people they are expecting until after the first trimester. It is so unfortunately common that one in four women will experience a miscarriage in their lifetime. According to the National Institutes of Health, 15-20 percent of pregnancies will end in miscarriage, and it is the most common pregnancy complication...

Keep Reading

Repotting Myself: What My One‑Armed Grandpa Taught Me About Growing Anyway

In: Grief, Living

Black and white photo of older man in garden

I was never meant to be a plant person. I’m the woman who can kill a succulent on the way home from the store. Once, a fern sighed in my direction and gave up. That is my spiritual gift. My grandpa Dominic would have laughed—hard. He loved to laugh. And sing hymns passionately in Italian. He was an Italian immigrant who lost his arm working in a mill, and still, he woke up every morning and dressed like dignity itself. He shopped for my grandma. He fixed what was broken. And he tended the biggest, happiest garden you’ve ever seen....

Keep Reading

When I Look In the Mirror, I See My Mother

In: Grief

Woman with mother smiling in older photo

Recently, whenever I look in the mirror, I see a strong resemblance to my mother. People always said I looked like her, but I never really saw it until now. I think it may be because you always think of your parents as being older than you are. At the age of 61, I am now only two years away from the age my mother was when she died. The only good thing about dying young is that everyone will remember you that way. I have only known my mom as the vibrant, personable, and active woman she was. Well,...

Keep Reading

I Lost My Daughter on Mother’s Day: 3 Truths I’m Believing Today

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood

Editor’s note: This post discusses child loss Child loss changes Mother’s Day. My 19-month-old, Julia, died suddenly on Mother’s Day in 2024. Three months later, her autopsy revealed she had B-cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (B-ALL, also known as SUDNIC). Julia died a week after we did an embryo transfer at an IVF clinic in an attempt to have a second child. We found out three days after Julia’s death that the embryo did not make it either. Six months later, we did another embryo transfer that succeeded, and I now have an 8-month-old daughter, Lucy Mei (“Mei Mei” means “little...

Keep Reading

I Miss Having Parents

In: Grief

Grown daughter posing between smiling parents

I have been living with the ache of loss for so long that I truly don’t remember what it feels like not to carry it. Sometimes it rests quietly beneath my ribs, dormant and almost polite. Other times it rises without warning—on an ordinary Tuesday afternoon, in the middle of a coffee line—and cuts straight through me. Today, it was a song. I was waiting for my coffee when “Pictures of You” by The Cure drifted through the café speakers. I hadn’t heard it in 20 years. In my twenties, it meant heartbreak—young love unraveling, relationships ending before they were...

Keep Reading

What No One Tells You about Losing a Sibling

In: Grief

Nobody tells you that when you lose a sibling, your entire childhood flashes before your eyes. There’s no better witness to what you experienced growing up than that one person who was standing nearby for all of it. And when they’re gone, a part of that childhood and a part of that story goes with them, because it was only ever known between the two of you. There’s no last chance to say, “Remember when?” or to laugh about the things that made you laugh to tears together, a million times at the kitchen table. There’s no last conversation about...

Keep Reading

Grief Didn’t Break Me, It Rearranged Me

In: Grief

I survived losing my father after his long, grueling battle with cancer. It was one of the most difficult seasons of my life. I had a front row seat to watch cancer pick him apart piece by piece. When you lose a parent, you lose a part of yourself. They say time heals all wounds, but you never stop missing the good ones, and there are days when it feels like it just happened. By the grace of God, I survived, but I will always miss my father. Then, almost a decade later, I lost the career that helped me...

Keep Reading

I’m Learning To Be Soft and Strong

In: Grief

During the weeks we cared for my grandmother in hospice, survival mode felt necessary. There were medications to track. Visitors to update. Logistics to manage. I remember sitting on the couch that served as my makeshift bed and listening to the rhythmic hissing and puffing of the oxygen machine one night. While my mom showered off the day, I texted my sister updates and sent my husband a quick message of love. I could still smell the lavender candle we had lit earlier in the day to mask medical scents. The house was quiet, but my mind wasn’t. I was...

Keep Reading

How Dare Chelsea Clinton Miss Her Daughter's First Day Of Preschool

Humor

How Dare Chelsea Clinton Miss Her Daughter's First Day Of Preschool

To My Daughters As You Become Adults: I Will Always Be Your Mom

Kids

Judge Suggests Rape Victim Should Have “Just Kept Her Knees Together”

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Harmony Vuycankiat

She Was the Glue That Held Our Family Together

My Parents Will Never See This Face

The Due Date that Never Comes

Repotting Myself: What My One‑Armed Grandpa Taught Me About Growing Anyway

When I Look In the Mirror, I See My Mother

I Lost My Daughter on Mother’s Day: 3 Truths I’m Believing Today

I Miss Having Parents

What No One Tells You about Losing a Sibling

Grief Didn’t Break Me, It Rearranged Me

I’m Learning To Be Soft and Strong

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

Judge Suggests Rape Victim Should Have “Just Kept Her Knees Together”

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

She Was the Glue That Held Our Family Together

My Parents Will Never See This Face

The Due Date that Never Comes

Repotting Myself: What My One‑Armed Grandpa Taught Me About Growing Anyway

When I Look In the Mirror, I See My Mother

I Lost My Daughter on Mother’s Day: 3 Truths I’m Believing Today

I Miss Having Parents

What No One Tells You about Losing a Sibling

Grief Didn’t Break Me, It Rearranged Me

I’m Learning To Be Soft and Strong

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like