Pre-Order So God Made a Mother

I’m a huge wine lover. HUGE. Like, bigger than huge.

Just Drink the Good Wine   www.herviewfromhome.com

Each year, myself and a couple of friends do a trip to a wine region and with each trip I fall more and more in love with wine and all of the accessories that accompany it. I tend to not only buy a LOT of wine but also a plentiful variety of cheese boards, bottle stoppers, fancy serviettes and cheese knives. Over the years, I’ve purchased many amazing wines. Wines that are almost too good for me to drink once I get home unless I can 150% justify to myself that it’s the right occasion and the right company to share it with.

I feel so guilty buying these amazing wines and then letting them do nothing except collect dust until an honest justification can occur for me to be able to enjoy it. The whole point of purchasing them is of course, to drink them. Or, in unfortunate circumstances, give your $390 bottle of wine to your mother to look after while you move house only to find it open in her fridge; the cork hacked out, then strained through a pair of stockings to remove excess cork, before adding it to her spaghetti bolognaise. But, that’s a different story!

Good wine, in many ways, is similar to all of those other ‘fancy’ things that we all tend to have in our homes, but never use. Basically, I’m referring to all of those special things sitting in the sideboard/china cabinet/buffet/display cabinet (I’m not sure what the U.S translation is – sorry) such as your great-grandmother’s tea set, the fine china, crystal wine glasses, and the Royal Doulton. The stuff that we NEVER use (or in my case, NEVER drink) because we just can’t justify it. 

Every now and then though, something happens that shines a light on these hidden treasures and puts it all into perspective. This ‘something’ happened to me just yesterday.

A while back you may have read the story about my brother and the fatal car accident that he was involved in just near the little rural school where I work. Yesterday, there was another fatal car accident just near there. I had left school only 15 minutes before the accident occurred and was able to reach the nearest town safely. Sadly, I passed the west-bound vehicle that was involved during that journey; little did they or anyone else know what was about to happen.

Although I did not witness the accident, it rattled me. For this to happen again, on the same stretch of road, within only a tiny, short distance of where my brother’s accident occurred; this was enough to totally smack me in the face. Too close. It was far too close to myself and my family’s situation and heartache. I remember all too well what it was like to receive that phone call. I wept last night for the family members of those involved who would have received that call as a result. Everyone is somebody to someone.

The thing is, that since my brother’s accident and the devastation, stress, anger and heartbreak that my parents and family have endured since; I know that I am not, under any circumstances permitted to cause any emotional upset. No waves. No disappointment. I don’t know if my parents could survive this again. And yesterday was far too close. Too close in proximity. Too close as the only route on my one hour commute to work. Too close in timing.

It wasn’t until I had two of my parents from school and several friends on Facebook contact me to make sure I’d arrived home safely, to realise that that could have been anyone. It could have been me. It could be me next time. I realise how dramatic this sounds as a type it, but if it was any other stretch of road, I wouldn’t be.

When I got home, grateful and shaken, I sat and glanced over at things in my China cabinet. I spied my antique hollow stem wine glasses and it sparked a thought in my mind. Life is short and it can change in an instant. What if that special occasion never comes? What if it’s all wasted? So I made a decision. A decision to just use it all. I got my grandmother’s hollow stemmed wine glasses out, went to the wine fridge, chose an expensive bottle of wine I’d been ‘saving’ and opened it and drank. All of it. Every last drop. And you know what? I don’t regret it for a second. 

As I enjoyed it, I rang my parents to tell them I loved them.

Live for today. Regret nothing.

#justdrinkthegoodwine

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Tash Guthrie

I’m Tash and I’m a full time primary school teacher, a business owner, business coach and a busy mum. I live on a beautiful rural property on the Far North Coast of NSW Australia with my gorgeous hubby and baby girl, Amelia. I adore wine, cheese platters and parking my butt in front of a good renovation or property TV show. I am so incredibly passionate about women in business and have coached hundreds of women to build businesses from home that support their family, nurture their true self and create a flexible lifestyle, completely on their terms. You can visit me over at www.tashguthrie.com.au

I Am the Griever

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Mother kissing child's forehead

As I write this, my mother-in-law is in the ICU. We don’t expect her to leave.  She’s too young. Sixty-four. We got the call on Saturday.  “Get here this week,” they said. So we did. With a newborn, a 3-year-old, a 5-year-old, and a soon-to-be 16-year-old. We managed ICU visits with my in-laws and juggled childcare so we could all take turns seeing the matriarch. For the last time? Maybe.  The logistics are all-consuming and don’t leave a lot of space for anything else. Also, I hate logistics. My son asks questions nobody knows how to answer: Will I die...

Keep Reading

Losing My Narcissistic Mother Is Complicated

In: Grief, Loss
Depressed woman sitting on kitchen floor silhouette

It’s so utterly destructive. It’ll knock the wind—no the very oxygen—out of your sails. It’s nauseating. Conflicting. Terrifying. And so very, very confusing. I did not know what to do with the information. The way I received this information made it more painful and confusing. I was angry.  My mom and I have never had a good relationship. She had her demons to fight, but by the time I was born, she must’ve been done fighting them. She showed one picture to the outside world, a perfect and happy family. But behind closed doors, it was just like the negatives...

Keep Reading

To the Friend Who Just Lost a Parent: It’s Going to Hurt and You’re Going to Grow

In: Grief, Grown Children, Loss
Sad woman hands over face

Oh, the inevitable, as we age into our mid to late 30s and beyond. The natural series of life states that losing a parent will become more commonplace as we, ourselves, continue to age, and I am beginning to see it among my circle of friends. More and more parents passing, and oh, my heart. My whole heart aches and fills with pain for my friends, having experienced this myself three years ago.  It’s going to hurt. It’s going to hurt more than you could expect. The leader of your pack, the glue, the one you turn to when you...

Keep Reading

Your Brother Is With Jesus Now

In: Faith, Grief, Loss
Brother and sister in yellow outfits smiling on park bench

“Thao is with Jesus now,” we told her, barely choking out the whisper. Jesus. This invisible being we sing about. Jesus. The baby in the manger? Jesus. How can we explain Jesus and death and loss and grief to a 3-year-old? And now, how can we not? We live it, breathe it, and dwell in loss since the death of her brother, our son, Thao. Here we are living a life we never wanted or dreamed of. Here we are navigating loss and death in a way our Creator never intended. What words can I use to describe death to...

Keep Reading

Don’t Delete the Picture You Think You Look Bad In

In: Grief, Living, Loss
Woman holding phone with picture of her and daughter, color photo

Don’t delete the picture—the one you look bad in. I said it. You heard me. Don’t delete the picture, that picture—you know the one, the one with the double chin or the bad angle. The picture that is not so flattering. The picture that accentuates your forehead lines or the one taken next to your skinny best friend. We are all so hard on ourselves. Many of us are striving for a better complexion or a thinner physique. Sometimes scrutinizing ourselves and zooming in on a picture—seeing things the world does not see. Don’t delete the picture. RELATED: Take the...

Keep Reading

Things that Hurt and Things that Help after Someone You Love Has a Miscarriage

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
young woman with arms crossed across stomach

I am sadly no stranger to pregnancy loss. Out of seven pregnancies, I have been blessed with one beautiful boy on earth, one miracle currently growing inside of me, and five precious angels in Heaven. As a result, I have plenty of experience in dealing with the aftermath of miscarriage. During this period of intense grief and loss, I have had many well-meaning people tell me things they believed would make me feel better, but in reality, caused me pain. Additionally, I have had close friends pull away during this period of time, and later tell me it was because...

Keep Reading

Even When You Can’t Find Joy, Jesus Is There

In: Faith, Grief, Loss
Sad woman through pane of rain covered glass

The international church service was vibrant with voices lifted up in songs of praise. Many clapped their hands and some even danced before God. But I wanted to be invisible. Joy felt like a land depicted in a fairy tale. I had returned from the hospital the day before—a surgery to remove the baby who had died in my womb. Watching this church buzz with happiness unearthed my fragileness. I slouched in my chair and closed my eyes. Tears trickled down my freckled face. My mind knew God was in control, but my heart ached as yet another thing I...

Keep Reading

He Mends Our Broken Hearts

In: Faith, Grief, Loss
Praying hands of woman with bracelets

Rays of soft sunlight streamed through the curtain onto the hospital bed. I stepped to the edge of the bed, taking a moment to soak in his face before gently holding his hand. Eighty-nine years is a rich, full life, and each passing day revealed more convincingly it was time for him to go. Grief and relief shared the space in my heart as I carried the weight of understanding each visit held the opportunity to be my last.  When he felt my hand, his eyes opened, and he gifted me a smile. Pop Pop always had a smile for...

Keep Reading

This Is As Close to Heaven As I Can Get

In: Grief, Loss
Sunrise over the ocean, color photo

I have sat here a million times over my life—on good days, on bad days, with friends, with family. I have celebrated my highest points and cried here at my lowest. I am drawn here, pulled in a way. When I have not been here in some time, the sea calls my soul home. My soul is at peace here. It has always been. Maybe it is the tranquility of the waves, or the sun shining on my face. Maybe it is the solitude I find here. I love her (the sea) in all seasons, when she is calm, when...

Keep Reading

10 Things Bereaved Parents Want You to Know about Child Loss

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Sad couple hug in hallway

My first baby died. After a perfect full-term pregnancy, she was stillborn. That was 10 years ago. Ten years I’ve spent wondering who she would have been. Ten years I’ve spent missing someone I hoped to know but never got the chance to. In those ten years, I’ve learned so much about grief, love, and life.  Grief is love. When they laid my stillborn daughter’s cold and lifeless body in my arms, my world was broken into before this nightmare began and after, where I was forever cursed to live with it. I thought I would never be the same...

Keep Reading