On an ordinary Tuesday night, her dimly lit office seems more like a living room than a counselor’s office. Her couch beckons me. It’s calling out to my weary soul begging me to unload the burdens of the last couple weeks—or the past 40 years.
I know not to lay down. I had made that mistake already, nearly 17 years before. It’s not like the movies.
All these years later, and I’d say I’m a seasoned pro.
So, why do I still struggle walking through those doors?
It’s the appearance. What would people think if they knew I was seeing a counselor? What was so wrong with me that I couldn’t fix it on my own or by talking with friends about it over chips and queso on Taco Tuesday?
Was I so weak that I couldn’t muscle through this?
The truth is it wasn’t about something being wrong with me.
It wasn’t even about me being weak.
I had tried everything I could think of to deal with these issues.
But it’s no different than the time our minivan needed major repair. And it’s definitely no different than the time my toddler flushed a doorknob down the toilet.
Despite my best efforts, I just didn’t have it within my ability to fix the problem.
I needed to call a professional.
My weakness didn’t bring me into her office. Neither did a lack of faith. It was wisdom.
Because only a fool would realize they had no idea how to fix the problem and still keep working at it. My mama didn’t raise no fool. And yours didn’t either, friend.
That thing you’re trying to fight on your own? You don’t have to.
Battles from your childhood.
The death of a parent.
Difficult family relationships.
Sometimes, we don’t have it within us to work through these issues on our own.
And those people who scoff and whisper about people who see counselors. Well, sister, they could probably use some counseling, too.
We all could.
Some things in this life are too hard to handle on our own. Our hearts ache so much we just need someone else to help carry a little bit of the hurt, you know?
So, every Tuesday has become a much-needed reprieve for this mom. Every couple of weeks, I sit down on that comfy couch and discuss past hurts, current issues, and future fears. And I’m always directed back to the best Counselor I have.
Somewhere along the way, I allowed my life experiences to shape my view of Him. No wonder prayer and reading the Bible wasn’t cutting it. As much as I heard His whispers trying to shake my misconceptions, I just couldn’t shake the lies by myself.
In His loving way, He brought me to someone who teaches me about the lies and stands in my corner while I fight them.
He’s loving like that, my Counselor.
So I proudly settle into that couch to learn more about who He is and who I am because of Him.
Then I walk out of her office to meet up with friends and grab a bite to eat.
Because everything is better after enjoying some Jesus and tacos.