Adult relationships long-distance? Challenging.
Adult friendships long-distance? A blessing!
Friends we have acquired over time have probably relocated. They have moved for their spouse’s job and possibly moved again. They’ve sold that house you and your kids had wonderful memories in. They’ve left—spread their wings and left their hometown you choose to stay in. They’ve said goodbye to that Mexican restaurant you’ve had too many margaritas and tacos at and hugged you close as life took them out of reach.
It’s sad to lose your neighborhood friends you’ve come to call family. It’s hard to wave goodbye to lifelong friends and your dependable ride-or-die friend when you really need them. After all, who’s going to go to Target with you right before they close after all the kids are asleep? Who’s going to bring you a coffee to your door after a rough day? Who’s going to sit down across from you in the corner booth and listen to only the sound of you crunching down on chips and queso because you just needed a companion? Who’s going to be that person you call in a pinch?
I’ll tell you. You may not like what I have to say, but it won’t be them.
It will be someone else, however. Because you can never have too many friends. These shoes will be filled. And she will be awesome.
Know what other shoes will be filled? The person you hide in the bathroom to text or FaceTime, away from the kids to catch up on life and laugh about all the craziness. The person you send hilarious memes to brighten her day. The person who sends you a Priority Mail box full of goodies for you and your kids. The person you will send 600 messages to at 8 p.m. on a Tuesday to make up for lost time together with. And you have to say to your husband, “Sorry, honey, Heather and I are texting about the last four weeks of our life and watching the same show at the same time together.” The person you could call at any time—before that U-Haul left for the West Coast—will still pick up the phone.
If you’re lucky, distance knows no bounds. Moms are in this for the long haul to support you. Life gets in the way often. Soccer games, playdates, work.
I’m immensely guilty of not responding back promptly, but the beauty of these long-distance friendships? They are rooted in understanding.
I’ve taken weeks to reply, and I’ve gone months and months without speaking to some of my friends from other states. This is in no way a reflection of the stability of our relationship as friends or any red flag I need to be looking into.
I’d be lying through my teeth, though, if I said it didn’t sting when I saw pictures of friends from my hometown chowing down on nachos without me, seemingly having the best time. But it’s OK because true friends are happy when you are happy. (Sends meme of overeating tacos.)
There is no weight on my shoulder about if we are OK or not. We pick right back up where we left off. A good friend allows you the distance to live your life, but they are never far away. You will see them again, and when you do . . . a hug that’s a thousand miles in the waiting is so very special.