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Dear Husband, I So Desperately Need Your Help

In: Marriage

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By Lindsey Carson

Mother holding toddler and baby — Elena_Goncharova/Shutterstock.com

Dear husband,

Sometimes I need your help.

The words sting a little as they hang in the air.

The reality is, I need your help, and I don’t know how to ask.

We have been married almost 10 years, and asking that question still upsets me. Not because I don’t think you will help, but because I feel as though I have failed on my end.

RELATED: Dear Dads, Don’t Wait Until Your Wife Asks For Help

I remember a time before children when we sat down in our tiny 900-square-foot apartment and mapped out this elaborate plan for our lives. You would be the breadwinner, and I would be the stay-at-home mamma. You would take out the trash and work on our vehicles while I cultivated the minds of our children with the composure of Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music.

Then, somewhere along the way we had three kids in four years, a mortgage, and a minivan.

The demands of the day-to-day are suffocating. Burnout whispers in my ear while dry shampoo cakes my scalp.

I just don’t know how to tell you.

I don’t know how to tell you I am completely overwhelmed by the needs of our children.

I don’t know how to tell you the housework gives me anxiety.

I don’t know how to tell you that at the end of each day, I feel as though I just ran a marathon, and I cringe a little knowing I have to do it all again tomorrow.

What I am trying to say is, I need your help.

Saying it all hurts. It makes me feel like I let you down, like I am not enough of a mother. The pressures of motherhood come down on me and leave me feeling emotionally paralyzed. I feel guilty and overwhelmed and beat down. There are days that every ounce of my energy is poured into the cups of others, and I just don’t have enough left in me to care for myself.

RELATED: To the Overwhelmed Mom Who Feels Like She’s Failing

The one thing that has held me back from telling you this for all of these years is the fact you work insanely hard every single day.

You come home with sweat-stained clothes and dark circles under your eyes. You make your way through the house passing out hugs and kisses to the kiddos. You slowly drag your tired feet into the kitchen, bring me into your arms, and kiss me on the head.

I see your exhaustion, and most days I feel guilty for even being tired myself.

Dear husband, I see your hard work, and I admire you for coming home in such great spirits. I know your struggles differ from mine, and I know you feel the calls of burnout whispering your name.

RELATED: Dear Husband, Thank You For Working So Hard For Us

I see you.

I just need a little help.

This stage of life is one full of contradicting feelings. The challenges of being married and raising kids has left me questioning everything I thought I knew about parenthood. The effects of exhaustion and a drained bank account wear on my heart.

This is why I need some help.

Dear husband, I know things look different than how we planned.

I know we found ourselves in survival mode for several months after each baby was born. I understand how challenging it is for you to go into things without a game plan, and I want you to know I appreciate you sticking with it.

I absolutely adore this life we have created.

I want us to get better.

I want us to grow.

I want us to flourish.

I just need a little help.

Marriage takes work. Thankfully, there’s an app that can help! Lasting—the nation’s #1 relationship counseling app—provides accessible sessions designed to help you build a healthy marriage. Download and take Lasting’s free Relationship Health Assessment.

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So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

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Lindsey Carson

Lindsey Carson is a christian mom blogger that spends her days chasing babies and chugging coffee. She was raised in New Mexico and holds the Zia Symbol close to her heart as she learns the ins and outs of east coast living. She enjoys writing about her adventures in motherhood, marriage, and redemption at www.lovefaithandtonsofgrace.com.

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Dear Husband, I So Desperately Need Your Help

The reality is, I need your help, and I don’t know how to ask.

RELATED: Dear Dads, Don’t Wait Until Your Wife Asks For Help

I don’t know how to tell you I am completely overwhelmed by the needs of our children.

RELATED: To the Overwhelmed Mom Who Feels Like She’s Failing

I see your exhaustion, and most days I feel guilty for even being tired myself.

RELATED: Dear Husband, Thank You For Working So Hard For Us

Dear husband, I know things look different than how we planned.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Lindsey Carson

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I Know Good Fathers Exist—Because I’m Married To One

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Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

Dear Husband, I So Desperately Need Your Help

The reality is, I need your help, and I don’t know how to ask.

I don’t know how to tell you I am completely overwhelmed by the needs of our children.

I see your exhaustion, and most days I feel guilty for even being tired myself.

Dear husband, I know things look different than how we planned.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

I Still Can’t Believe You’re Mine

True Love Is Built In the Moments No One Sees

We Fall In Love a Million Times

As a Newly-Single Mom, I’m Learning How To Parent Alone

My Husband Is By My Side Through Every Storm

The Love Story Built on Paper and Perseverance

Even When Marriage Is Good, It Can Leave You Exhausted

I Know Good Fathers Exist—Because I’m Married To One

I Love the Man Behind the Beard

Dear Husband, Let’s Chase a Love That Still Chooses

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