Dear Husband, When I Look at You, I Know We Have Nothing to Fear

We’ve been married almost 15 years and I remember the day we met like it was yesterday. Never could I have imagined the life that we have together. There’s so much between us. And, there’s so much more to come.

We are in the stage of life where friends are separating—marriages are ending. I look at us and I am reminded that it isn’t always roses and sunshine, but our life? Our life has been pretty darn exceptional. There are moments when I wonder what life would have been like had I not met you and frankly, I can’t imagine it any other way.

There have been so many good parts to our marriage, but the best part of it all has been watching you grow into fatherhood. Fourteen years and four kids later, we have what others dream of. I want to freeze this moment. I’m afraid to lose what we have. I’m afraid to have ours fail like so many others around us.

You see how fear works?

Fear clouds our eyes to all the goodness that we have right in front of us.

Fear closes off the possibility of what the future holds.

I will not let this fear manipulate us. Fear will not stand in our way. Because looking at you, I know that there is nothing to fear.

You, dear husband, are one of a kind. Watching you hold our little one’s hand reminds me of that day almost 19 years ago when you first held mine. In that moment I was excited and nervous and perhaps, a little fearful of the unknown. But if I could travel back in time I would tell that girl not to worry, not to be scared. I would tell that girl to let go and always, always, lead with her heart. I would tell her to listen, always talk openly, don’t be afraid of the unknown and to always lead with love, respect and honesty. Yes, watching you become a father and grow into fatherhood has been one of the greatest, most incredible journeys, of my life.

The years together have gone by in the blink of an eye. One day turns into another and then a new month rolls over and then another year has passed. We are older, wiser and full of compassion, love, and respect for our marriage and our family. I’m so grateful to have you by my side. I am so grateful that you chose me, and that you continue to choose us and our family each and every day. Marriage is a choice. It’s not always easy, but choosing love always wins.

In this moment I am frozen. I am in awe of this life. What have we done so differently than those others around us? While other marriages are crumbling and falling down, we keep striving to build. Maybe some would say we’re just lucky. Others might say we’re blessed. And still, others might say that we are building our “life by design”. What I know for sure is that every day we choose us. Everyday we choose our family.

I am grateful for you, dear husband. I am beyond grateful for this life we have built together. And, I am so thankful for all the ups and downs. I have learned more on this journey with you than I could have ever imagined possible and I can’t wait to see what our future holds.

For now, I will relish in the amazingness of watching you on your journey into fatherhood.

You, dear husband, are one of a kind and I am so grateful to be by your side.

Originally published on the author’s blog

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