You’re an amazing mom, but if you’re like me, I bet that sometimes you feel like a failure.
Did you scream at your kids today because you are sick and tired of seeing more toys and clothes on your kitchen counter tops than food and appliances? Or maybe the toys and clothes are starting to mingle WITH the food on the counters!? That never happens, right?
Or maybe, you are deliberately choosing to surf Facebook instead of sitting and playing another game of aliens attacking the Lego house on the floor with your little one because, you just can’t.
Hey, I’m here to tell you from one mom to another, that it’s really OK.
So you just sit on that bathroom floor and pretend that you’re pooping so your kids will leave you alone for the next few minutes that it will take you to read this post. Cry if you need, but then pull yourself together and let me encourage you a bit.
You may feel like a failure because of these, and many other times that you are not the perfect example of patience, love and grace to your precious bundles of joy. You may see all those posts about being intentional with your kids, putting your phone down and engaging with them, lifting them up and growing them into confident and joyful little beings by being a confident and joyful being yourself.
You may hear that you should encourage and compliment and say yes, more than you say no. You may wonder how you are supposed to do that when your kids are counter surfing with their muddy shoes on to steal the cookies, again!
While having extra genetic doses of confidence, patience, grace and general nicey-niceyness as a mom is helpful when raising kids, it certainly not a prerequisite—or there would be A LOT less of us allowed to procreate, am I right?
Here’s the kicker, and the thing that made the difference for me. Your kids don’t care if you are an A+ kind of mom who rocks at making all the meals, and doing all the perfect things, and not losing your mind sometimes! You are not a failure as a mother unless you literally quit on your kids. If you’re reading this, I can guarantee that you are not ready to quit on your kids.
Your kids are happy with you being a C- mom as long as you love them and they know it! Here’s why . . .
Even when you come home from work stressed and snap at them (because after all day at your job you just can’t deal with the chaos and mess of your home), you sit on their bed and say “I’m sorry,” and they know that you mess up sometimes, just like them.
When you fail and lose your cool in the moment over something small, they know that no matter how mad or upset you ever get, you will still open your arms to them and protect them from the world.
When they come to you with a school project that is due tomorrow, you curse and show your open irritation, but you still stay up and help them, sacrificing your own sleep for their cause. They know that you are always there for them. They know you are never going to quit on them.
Being a good mom is a tough job! But don’t let yourself believe that you need to be perfect in order to be a good mom. That is a lie, and stopping that lie the second it enters your mind will do wonders for your momfidence (mom+confidence)!
If you are loving your kids the best that you can, then you’ve made it as a mom. There really is no perfect mom land, and no better place to be than right where you are.
There is no perfect motherhood formula, and no perfect line that you can walk as a mother to ensure that you are perfectly balanced and giving just the right amount to yourself, your kids, your husband, and your job. You do your best—that’s it.
You are not a failure as a mother even when you get it wrong with your kids because motherhood in and of itself is about loving and raising kids—not being perfect.
So moms, do your best, love your kids, yell and cry when you need to, apologize when you need to, and throw your hands up in victory at the end of the day. Have confidence in yourself, knowing that you really are the best mom to raise those kids of yours.
After all, they don’t want a perfect mom, they want you!
Originally published on the author’s blog
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Motherhood Doesn’t Require Perfection—it Just Requires Your Whole Heart
I Want to be a Perfect Mom—But I’m Not